I need help. Emotional void and loneliness.

For years I have felt very empty and clearly have an emotional void. I have a troubled past which I know has caused me to grow up to be this individual. I grew up being fostered with no real family contact.
To fill the emotional void, I have done a range of things from compulsive shopping, battling an eating disorder, keeping myself busy from procrastinating on the net (Chatting, Youtube, Forums etc.), emotional eating, counselling, socialising, drug abuse, compulsive exercising (Working out for hours on end at the gym). All these things have made me feel great for a temporary time afterwards, but I always go back to feeling like there is something missing. None of the above has done any benefits for me which is surprising. But the one main problem is, I can't work and function being like this. The only time I seemed happy was when I was dependent, needy or clingy on friends or family. Sometimes I was so low that the friends I met turned out to be abusive individuals towards the end. It seemed I saw the good in them when I was at a low-point.

How do I get out of this?
Anyone else been in a similar situation and broke free from it?
How can I feel content with no emotional void so I can live freely and happily?

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Reply 1

Roo Bix

You need to learn that you don't need somebody else to make you happy. Are you at Uni?

Reply 2

Crocodile, M.D.

bla bla bla more emotional neurotic crap. just grow the hell up and stop analysing every miserable detail of your pointless little life. you're just another insect. consume, contribute and die.

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

Wow this sounds just like me. I always assumed it's because I am a pretty weak personality and there's nothing that can be done.
I'd also like to hear answers from people about this please.

Reply 4

hanaalou

poor you!you can pm me if you feel you need someone to talk to :smile:

you can pm me too!

Original post by Crocodile, M.D.

you can pm me too!

beautiful, I too will PM you whenever I want my soul crushed.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Original post by Roo Bix

You need to learn that you don't need somebody else to make you happy. Are you at Uni?

Yes I'm at uni. This is where it's trickier as at times I'm in my room by myself. I'm fine when with friends but I can't be with them all the time because it's not viable nor normal. I know that I can fill all my time being busy which is what I do, but I really need to do the work and I know this deep down as well.

I know that I don't need somebody else to make me happy. I know that I have to feel content and everything has to come from within me. Still, I don't understand why I feel and behave this way? I have tried counselling (Outcome not as successful as anticipated), compulsive behaviour, drug abuse etc. etc. and find none of it had helped. At times, I just feel out of control. The problem is I want help but don't know what to do, just at a loss. I'm not ashamed of my problems, I admit I can do with some help.

Reply 8

Crocodile, M.D.

Original post by sherlllll

beautiful, I too will PM you whenever I want my soul crushed.

that's great! that's exactly what i'm okay at talking about! listen, hearing something objective once a week can really help you stay on the straight and narrow. none of this depressive crap to get in the way.

Reply 9

Miza

Original post by Crocodile, M.D.

bla bla bla more emotional neurotic crap. just grow the hell up and stop analysing every miserable detail of your pointless little life. you're just another insect. consume, contribute and die.

Im with you on this one, its getting borring now as every 2-3days there's another post about depression crap blablabla. People need to learn to manage themselves tbh.

Reply 10

Roo Bix

Original post by Anonymous

You obviously want to get better, but you need to grasp hold of a more positive mentality. Don't expect too much or even over-analyze the benefits of therapy. Take help as it comes and work together, think of yourself as a cog and therapy is a cog. You both need to come together and work in sync to begin a process.

Were you referred to a councilor by a G.P or?

Reply 11

Crocodile, M.D.

Original post by Miza

Im with you on this one, its getting borring now as every 2-3days there's another post about depression crap blablabla. People need to learn to manage themselves tbh.

ah, someone rational. delighted to make your acquaintance.

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

Original post by Miza

Im with you on this one, its getting borring now as every 2-3days there's another post about depression crap blablabla. People need to learn to manage themselves tbh.

Nobody is making you read it in the first place, nor help.

Before you make judgements, you seem to be lacking in knowledge with regards to this area primarily. In actual fact, I have been cleared and officially diagnosed to not be depressed. I have been given medication, yet after a 2nd opinion was told not to take them. Anti-depressants did nothing for me. My mood did not elevate whatsoever and remained stable. Thereby, I was originally not depressed. Everyday I am happy and I keep myself busy. This problem has nothing to do with depression, but is an emotional issue.

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

Original post by Roo Bix

Yes as initially the 1st doctor distributed anti-depressants to me like candy and hoped for a quick fix. However, after a 2nd opinion and no mood changes, I was told I was not depressed and did not require anti-depressants. The problem was more concerned with negative thinking and emotional issues and upbringing certainly has had an establishment in these factors.

I like your advice on not to expect too much from therapy, working together etc. I hope in time the effects prove to be worthwhile and show.

Thank you for your help. :smile:

Reply 14

Roo Bix

Original post by Anonymous

No problem. Cogs remind me, you may be interested in researching 'Cognitive Behavioral Therapy'. I think this might be of great use to you and the kind of thing you need.

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

Original post by Roo Bix

No problem. Cogs remind me, you may be interested in researching 'Cognitive Behavioral Therapy'. I think this might be of great use to you and the kind of thing you need.

Actually, this is the very first thing I asked when I started therapy but the therapist wanted to deal and talk with me.

Reply 16

Elf.

Original post by Crocodile, M.D.

bla bla bla more emotional neurotic crap. just grow the hell up and stop analysing every miserable detail of your pointless little life. you're just another insect. consume, contribute and die.

STFU.
Do you need help too? :frown:

Reply 17

Elf.

OP, I can say everyones felt lonely before. Especially me right now actually :-/. All you can do is try and talk to people... It's my remedy. But I don't think I can help you with the other stuff as I don't have any personal experience of it, sorry :frown:

Reply 18

Crocodile, M.D.

Original post by Elf.

STFU.
Do you need help too? :frown:

yes, YES! i have aspergers syndrome, schizoaffective disorder, trichotillomania and erectile dysfunction and i simply HAVE to have the radio times every week or i have to wash my hands with bleach. please, i just... i just needed to tell everyone on the internet about it, i think i'm okay now, though it's not like anybody loves me. my dad left me when i was 16 and perfectly capable of dealing with it, my mother died when i was too young to know who she was and my sister calls me things like "my best big brother" and "a helpful guy". I just... i have no idea how to cope any more and i think i am going to fail my media degree because i forgot that the coursework was twenty words long and i only managed seventeen about the new chocolate advert's graphical styling. i don't think i can go on with this any more, i don;tns understand why noone loves me and i think itd be best nif i just ended it allwr=r-==-r=ddf

Reply 19

Anonymous #3

I can partially empathise, I don't think I've had it anywhere as near as hard as you though!
Firstly I just wanna say you do seem very resiliant and self determined because you've tried a lot, so well done.

I think its partly that youst want someone to cuddle and make you feel special, I thnk that the biggest thing missing in my life, not just the sex but the little things. With that one all you can do is wait for it to come to you, looking for it doesn't work and it will come to you, you just have to believe it! Just live as fuller life as you can and when youeady for it, it will happen!

The big question is what to do in the mean time, you've tried everything in terms of exercise etc... I did aswell. I think you need to find something your passionate about and it does take up a lot of your mind. Are you at Uni, what do you do? does it make you think? I personally use current affairs (I know it seems incredibly sad) but a lot of what goes on in the world is relavent to not only my course but my passion within, acts as a major distraction sometimes. My passion is likely not to be yors but I'm sure you have one, animals is a good one, there are a lot of things. Thats my suggestion anyways. Good Luck and well you've got this far, considering all you've been through I have no doubt you will find happiness :-)