Would you *ever* give up your ideal dreams/future/career for your perfect partner?

In terms of the conditions you set out, for me, partner.

What about for you? (I'm going to guess career ). Why?

PMed you.

To state the parameters of this question (as it could be interpreted in different ways):

*Pretend you have not experienced your dream/future/career, i.e. to be an investment banker or to travel around the world. So it is NOT a case of "yeah, when I'll give up my career half-way through". No, it's one or the other.

*Your dream or whatever cannot be finding "true love" or "happiness" or any of that wishy-washy crap. Just definite and specific goals. No emotions included, it has to be an actual goal.

*To reiterate once again, it is a ONE or the OTHER choice. No best of both worlds in this case.

I edited this bit as people are going down the "compromise" route, i.e. they'll take the perfect partner with a not so perfect career. So the situation is changed. NO compromise. It's:

*Perfect partner + ****/no career
*Perfect career + ****/no partner

Also, no exploiting any loopholes.

Thanks. Interested in your opinions.

That was a rather angsty and defensive PM. I will reply to the points in such and such time, when deadlines do not loom impendingly over my head.

Career =/= constantly alone
Married life =/= constantly with people

Why? Even though you're arguing differently it does seem you're saying that because it is what is expected of you.

Can you give me reasons why?

Exactly, so this idea of "wearing thin" is hardly an argument against the single life.

Or rather do want I want, when I want? I should I have to compromise when actually I don't need to?

Emotions =/= romantic or marital love
Emotions =/= having children
Emotions =/= getting married

Career and no married life/lasting relationship means no meaningful loving relationship (excluding the platonic ones). That is a sort of loneliness that no amount of friends, trips to different countries and hobbies could fill for me. As I have said about five times already, everyone is different. For many people friends and exciting events would be enough but not for me.

Many of the reasons are obviously personal, and I don't have to explain them to you.

Anyway, society doesn't tend to value marriage very much now; it's perfectly normal for unmarried couples to live together/have children and for children to have step/half brothers and sisters. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that as far as I'm concerned, but I just feel like I want to find someone who I can stay with for good. It might sound cheesy, but I want to grow old with someone who I've shared my youth/early adult years with.

Nor is it an argument against the married life. It is all about perspective and you don't seem to understand that someone else has a different point of view. Why can't both be true?

As I have said, that is fine. I'm not going to stop you. I just personally feel that I would end up unfulfilled by the time I was forty living that sort of life. There is nothing wrong with compromise. Everyone has to do it at some point whether it be in love, work or day to day relations with people.

Of course. I'm not saying that. I cannot stress the next two words enough, for me love is an emotion that I will never deliberately deny. You asked for opinions and now you have them. I am not going to change my opinion because someone else thinks it is wrong. If you are just testing people's resolve then surely you have already done that by now?

>perfect partner
nope. my ambitions are for me. my perfect partner is no different from a random ****toy, just somewhere to park my cock when i feel like releasing some jizz. hell, it's not even necessary. i don't care about shared memories because, well, i have my memories - what do i want my memories and her memories for if they're the same bloody experiences? and all of this love **** - boring! partners are just drains on financial resources and generally decrease one's personal safety, mental and physical.

In a way yes. It seems the only advantage they have is "love" (oh wow!).

Imo, love prevents people from achieving their true potential.

Ideally everyone wants both. But when push comes to shove - what is more important?

Well looking at the poll, it seems it's pretty much even.

omg r u my sole meight??? we shud be together and circumvent our potentials

but yes, i agree.

Speaking of assumptions.

Let's be honest, instead of wasting money on the marriage, you could be using that money to live our your own dreams.

Fair enough, but for me, I'd still have a fulfilled life.

Fair enough, but society do expects people to have some sort of long-lasting relationship.

Shush. I'm happy to accept other people living their life. But why have people on this thread said "oh, if you choose career, you'll be lonely"?

I want people to justify why they think that for themselves. Yes, I KNOW it's about YOU, but why?

That's really the whole point of this thread.

So just because society on some level expects that the majority of people will have a long term relationship that is a reason not to have one?

I don't think I've said that myself, so you're better off taking that one up with the people that have .

Anyway, a lot of people use 'you' when they mean themselves so it's a bit pedantic to base your criticism on one word.

I understand what you want to discover though. You want people to justify their choice without reference to society or anyone else around them. I think that is quite difficult because we are all directly and indirectly influenced by the things that surround us.

Perhaps growing up in a world where literature and media seem to venerate love and romance (to a certain extent) has influenced my views on the subject, but that does not mean to say that my feelings and opinions have been dictated to me by society.

As long as I believe something because I am truly invested in that ideal, instead of believing it because I feel like it is the normal thing to do, then why should my particular reasons have any relevance to anyone else?

No, I do what I want, irrespective of what society tells me to do.

I was making a general statement with regards to your comments.

They need to learn to differentiate between the first person and the second person.

No, it is not difficult. People always made decisions. There are always reasons why.

Bull****. So you're saying you're sucked by the media?

Because I want to know why. People on this site say "I want a family/kids" - but WHY?

I give up.

I don't know I don't think I'd know until I was in the situation where I found my perfect partner- maybe then I would give up my future aspirations- but maybe then I would just resent them for the rest of my life so I think it's better to achieve your goals no matter what