Did you sleep with your partner before or after deciding you were in a relationship?

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I think a lot of people are misunderstanding here. "I prefer to date first", "I wouldn't sleep with a stranger".

Dating does not equal in a relationship. Going out a few times before having sex = normal. But you are not in a relationship. Unless you have agreed to be exclusive and you refer to each other as boyfriend/girlfriend in public, you are not a couple. Your partner is free to see other people. And when people say they have sex before they're in a relationship, that's what they mean.
When you're in your twenties, most people have had sex and (most) more than one partner, which means they realize the importance of sex and how good or bad it can be, hence they need to test the waters early on. That is not equal to getting it on with a stranger.

Reply 41

Gemma16

Original post by Anonymous

Did you have sex with them, then got into a relationship or get into a relationship then have sex?
I've found that younger people 18- tend to get into the relationship first then sleep together after a while, whereas older people usually sleep together then just 'fall' into a relationship. Would you agree?
Me and my boyfriend never officially 'agreed' on a relationship we kind of just fell into it after sleeping together in his limousine...

i have to disagree a lot of people i know sleep around then might get into a relationship and from the amount of neg rep i have been given on here for not being a slag/having one night stands then theres lots of people on here that have one night stands. i respect myself and only will have sex with my boyfriend :smile:

i will probs get negged for this, like i normally do for not falling into normality which is having one night stands but hey ho :biggrin:

Reply 42

Colour Me Pretty

I know that in the future I'm not in for sleeping together without the security of a relationship.

Even though I can be a bit saucy I've started making it pretty clear that I'll be in a relationship with the next person I sleep with. I think I'm getting to the point where although I'm not actively looking for a relationship it's something I'd like to happen this year.

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 43

Elf.

Original post by *Lollo*

Yes obviously, but dating doesn't mean you're in a relationship. I don't think that's what the OP meant, as if people who think sex is necessary before you're officially a couple usually shags on the first date. It just means you don't call someone your bf/gf before you've even see each other naked...

Oh I see. Well I'd still rather have a guy call me his girlfriend first tbh :rolleyes:

And uhh... Get to know him properly. I guess :shrug:

Reply 44

Elf.

Original post by *Lollo*

However, I think this is a very subjective viewpoint. Some people don't see many people at once for instance so it could be classed as a relationship like... An unspoken agreement if you really like someone.
However I see your point. And no it's not the same as an ONS.

Reply 45

AmroTT

For my first relationship, we were good - REALLY good, bloody awesome - mates first off. Then along came the sex. And eventually a relationship, once we came to the conclusion that: a great friendship + sex = 'relationship'

Latter-day, it's been a mixture between actively dating, as a couple, then having the relationship 'move forward'; and starting off in a higher gear, so to speak, and settling into a relationship.

These things are a little odd at my age, I find...

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 46

Smophy

Original post by Anonymous

I was the complete opposite. I had a few small time bf's when I was young. I think I slept with all of them first. Then when I met my current bf we didn't have sex until we had been together around 3 months.

None of my previous relationships had lasted very long. This one is five years strong :biggrin:

I honestly believe waiting helped us in a way but I suppose it is impossible to know.

Reply 47

*Lollo*

Original post by Elf.

I know that, but for those who have a sex drive and have the possibility of sex, it is not natural to 'starve'. At least for guys. I just want you to be aware of it, even though you like to fill your time going out with one guy and him alone even if you aren't exclusive, be careful that he may not feel that way! Many girls have been burnt thinking "unspoken agreement". Not agreed to be exclusive = not exclusive. I am not talking as a victim, I have always been thinking this way since I started dating.

Reply 48

Advanced Subsidiary

I'd rather be in a relationship first and have sex after. I don't know, it just seems more proper to me - then again I am quite systematic and girls hate that.

Reply 49

Jellybean91

Normally i'd want to have sex after making it official, but I didn't wait with my current boyfriend and its been my longest and best relationship yet :smile:

Reply 50

Anonymous #4

Original post by Gemma16

i will probs get negged for this, like i normally do for not falling into normality which is having one night stands but hey ho :biggrin:

1. You're not the only person to not have one night stands on here, stop acting like you are.

2. Your not getting negged repped for not having one night stands, your getting negged repped for calling everyone else a slag/slut for having them.

3. Your on threads about having Anal and your picture is of you with a low crop top on, short skirt with a child your probably had at 15. Slaggy.

Reply 51

Gemma16

Original post by Anonymous

well a slut is someone who does sleep around, so all i am saying is the truth.
its a dress not a top and skirt actually, plus that is my niece. so stop assuming i'm a young mum (there is a lot in society but that doesn't mean i am one).