should I tell my mum?

please keep anon

so years ago my dad has cheated twice on my mum, she found out and still kept him as she didn't want to break up the family.
last year i caught my dad on the comp on a 'naughty' online dating site, i left it then a a couple of days later i caught him on the same site.
so, i told my mum and she checked his emails and low and behold he had emails from other 'women' of course my mum was really upset and she confronted him and said that it was simply not on. dad said that it was only a bit of harmless fun but he said he would stop anyways.

a couple of months on...

today, my dad was talking to me and he stupidly left his phone on the side and I saw that he was on the internet on the same 'naughty' dating site. now i don't want to jump to conclusions, but i know my dad and i know how dumb and stupid he can be.

What should I do, should I tell my mum?
I hate to see her in the dark.
help me?

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1

f00ddude

i dunno, do you want to destroy a marriage?

in all honesty its not going to help anyone if you tell her, marriage isnt like highschool/uni relationships, they are a lot harder to break out of and even if your mum knows its more likely they will end up in a loveless dead marriage than seperating. even if they do seperate its likely they will stay alone for some time

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 2

mehhhw/e

If I was your mother, I would want to know.

Reply 3

x_chichi_x

To be honest I don't think your dad deserves your mum. She seems quite tolerant and forgiving for things like this, and still he won't change. My mothers friends was having the same problem and the woman got her friends to threaten him into staying. loool they argue a lot but they're still together. :/ But you do have a tricky situation here. :frown:

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 4

Roo Bix

It's unfair on her to have him do that as many times as he has already.

Reply 5

Don'tNod

Tell and she probably won't do anything (she did let him off on those other occasions), don't tell and you'll eat yourself up worrying about it.

Reply 6

Suzanathema

Original post by mehhhw/e

If I was your mother, I would want to know.

Yeah, me too.

Tell her.

Reply 7

ibysaiyan

Wow... looks like you have been eavesdropping then again no one can blame you,a fail marriage it seems. :s-smilie:

Does your mother still love him ? Maybe you're thinking over the board here.

Here's a thought maybe she's tagging along your dad (dumb) to prevent any negative repercussion of the you know what.

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 8

ithoughtofthis

Do they even have sex together? Or any sort of intimacy?

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Original post by ibysaiyan

Wow... looks like you have been eavesdropping then again no one can blame you,a fail marriage it seems. :s-smilie:

Does your mother still love him ? Maybe you're thinking over the board here.

Here's a thought maybe she's tagging along your dad (dumb) to prevent any negative repercussion of the you know what.

They don't seem to spend a lot of time together. They both lead pretty busy lives.

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

Well, I told her. It was eating up inside of me, and I couldn't bear the thought of me knowing and not her. So I told my mum, and she's been on the phone to my dad for the past 15 minutes arguing loudly(he's not home atm). When I told her, I could see it in her face that she was disappointed but she was grateful that I'd told her. (as I would suspect she hates being lied to.)

I doubt anything big will happen as a consequence as I have two very young siblings.

Reply 11

Cheesecakefactory

Remove your dad's testicles in his sleep.

Now he can't have sex with ANYONE.

Reply 12

Rishz

I know how u feel....my dad is pretty much the same :/
but what goes around comes around, and he got what he deserved now, though I'm really upset about it :frown:

Reply 13

Sammydemon

Original post by Cheesecakefactory

Remove your dad's testicles in his sleep.

Now he can't have sex with ANYONE.

I am living proof that this is not true.

Reply 14

Tariq786

Original post by f00ddude

nice sig. completely agre with points 1/2/3 :borat:

Reply 15

Hudlam

Grats on having the courage to tell your mum
Now just hope for the best :smile:

Reply 16

johnnn

Don't grass in your bro's!! What happened to the bro code dude!

Reply 17

davidr123

Harsh -

You need to talk to to your dad and say:

"look this is really not fair on me, I keep finding this stuff I don't need to be involved in - I will always tell mum so make sure whatever you get up to you keep it away from me"

Make sure he knwos he's done something wrong TO YOU.

YOu shouldn't have to be dealing with the fall out of his crap.

Reply 18

Nickbotto

I'm pretty sure your mum will just go through with it, she will bare all the pain just to see you and your siblings in a "happy" family. I'm in the same position too, but worst, my dad spent all his savings on women and now we're broke. I had to stop physical fights many times and I told my mom that it's ok if they get a divorce, I'm old enough to understand that life is not a fairy tail. Pretty sure they'll part ways when I leave for university, well for me, what makes them happy will make me happy. Moms are strong, just let her know that you love her a lot, give some moral support. And for the dad issue, I think its some kind of addiction, like smoking, so for what it's worth he's still your dad and try to get him some help. Good luck =)