Girlfriend disagrees with controversial issues

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I couldn't be with someone who was pro-fox hunting. it's pretty barbaric.

are you sure she's not just a bit slow, ha. or rather just likes being controversial?.... people who are against alternative forms of energy, particularly with Japan situation atm, because they are unattractive don't seem very sensible/ kind of people you should date.

Reply 41

rockrunride

Original post by Planar

What if she was Susan Coffey?

Had to google.

I hope she disapproves of fox hunting :coma:

Reply 42

Expecto_Patronum

Original post by Drumzilla

that's the thing then isn't it, if you share views then talking about it is fine. But if you're on opposite sides of the fence i think it's best to leave it be.

Nah, I still think I'd rather discuss something like that than something totally mindless. I disagree with my friends about a lot of things, and there's nothing I like more than a nice long debate about some controversial issue or another.

Reply 43

jimcatinnes

Original post by Aj12

How about you grow up and just avoid those issues? How often will fox hunting and wind farms come up in normal conversation

He may have a pet fox and a windmill in his back garden!

But seriously, what they said.

Reply 44

username279062

Original post by mistressselene

he doesn't care about them, have the education I do on them, or has different opinions.

Is it that he knows that they're nothing more than the placebo effect?

Reply 45

bacforever3

Original post by Anonymous

So I'm pretty much on the verge of having this girl as my girlfriend. The only problem is, she seems to have very different opinions to me over a couple of controversial issues. Firstly, she is pro-fox hunting, something I am very much against. And secondly she is against wind farms as they are an eye-sore.

I haven't really expressed my own opinions on the matters, but I know how she feels.

Reading back through my post, I can see how this seems a bit petty, and something I should just overlook, but these are things I am quite passionate about. Has anyone had any experiences similar to mine? Do you think we could work?

I have overcome similar issues with two guys... the first was ok because we werent going to be more than a good summer, the second is more complex because I think we have a chance but im aware he thinks i have the same moral code as him when I work on logic rather than morality!

Just little things like how Im veggie and hes not, hes rigid on drugs being wrong whilst I see copious alcohol and cigarettes to equate to hebal drugs and just because they are illegal, i cant find a good enough reason to oppose them more strongly than the others....

We'll see you know... I think you should go for it, but if you hit problems, it is likely that you will remember your differences...
Still... people can change!

Reply 46

Drumzilla

Original post by Expecto_Patronum

there's the difference between you and i then, i hate debating/arguing, i just find it draining and annoying.

I'd much rather just shoot the breeze :biggrin:

Reply 47

Planar

Original post by rockrunride

Had to google.

I hope she disapproves of fox hunting :coma:

Be realistic though - you would anyway

Reply 48

alharrison4

Couples don't have to always agree on everything. Just accept that you have different opinions on those issues and move on. If you love them then it really shouldn't matter :smile:

Reply 49

rockrunride

Original post by Planar

Be realistic though - you would anyway

There's a difference between "I would" and "I would start a relationship with her" :fluffy:

Reply 50

Drumzilla

Original post by GwrxVurfer

I think politics and economics are the two most important issues to discuss in the current regime. Using your argument that politics shouldn't be discussed in case of disagreement, me and a girlfriend would also be forbidden from talking about football unless we supported the same team, forbidden from talking about cars unless we liked the same make and model, forbidden from talking about computers unless we both agreed which operating system was superior, etc etc etc.

By all means, talk about "fun" things sometimes, everyone should. But are you really just going to sit in silence throughout other moments in your relationship because you see politics as a "forbidden subject"?

the bolded one is true, have you ever tried talking to an Apple fanboy lol

but the bottom line is they're still not fun subjects though are they, by all means share your views on it, but if you are both diametrically opposed to the others views then i would just leave it, instead of having a argument which leaves you both pissed off :dontknow:

football, can be light hearted and fun (sometimes :biggrin:

), cars, again light hearted and fun, people aren't going to get all hot and bothered over a differing view on cars, but politics? people will die before they accept another persons view on politics.

and if you run out of fun things to talk about in your relationship then i think it's about over anyway :cool:

Reply 51

Drumzilla

Original post by GwrxVurfer

But why would we be pissed off for having a mature, civilized debate on important issues?

That's just your opinion that discussing your disagreement on cars is ok, but discussing your disagreement on politics is somehow not.

Indeed. If you start "ruling out" topics because you might disagree, then you may run out of topics very quickly.

i have never seen anyone have a rational, civilised debate over politics, it normally descends into a slanging match, not something i am inclined to voluntarily participate in with a girl i like.

it's not about ruling out topics because you disagree, it's about accepting that you disagree and leaving it at that. I hate when people try and force their political views down your throat so i don't do the same.

you can disagree on stuff, but nothing illicits quite such an animated response as disagreeing about politics and the like. as such i would stick to things that are more enjoyable to talk about :dontknow:

Reply 52

Drumzilla

Original post by GwrxVurfer

We're not talking about your slanging matches, we are talking about mature rational debate on politics. Isn't that what democracy is about? People debating issues........

Well you contradicted yourself there. You said it's not about ruling out topics because you disagree, but then you change your mind and say that you would in fact "leave it at that" if there was disagreement. Make up your mind.

So you also won't talk about cars, computers, football, the weather, your jobs, your incomes etc - Because in all probability you will disagree on all of these issues to some extend as well. You aren't going to have a lot to talk about.....

Maybe you do have an "animated" response to debate on politics, but most people don't. If you can't even discuss a topic such as politics without losing it, then how on earth do you think you'll manage to talk rationally about football when your partner reveals that they support a different team?

I'm sorry you must have never seen what goes on in the house of commons, when politics is involved people lose their rag and shout at each other. People don't like being told their wrong.

My wording is different, you don't not talk about them because you might disagree, it's about not trying to force your opinions on other people.

you're missing the point, people don't care about disagreeing on cars or whatever, because it's not important, you can tease people about their taste in cars, but call someone out on their politics and it turns all serious. Telling someone their wrong about politics is like telling them their entire view on morals and life is wrong, not something people take too kindly to.

refer to my first point. as much as you may not like to believe, politics is a hot button issue, people will not discuss it rationally. People will not change their views because you put together a reasoned argument.

at the end of the day, the main reason why i don't talk about it is because it's not fun for me, maybe you like arguing but i don't. It doesn't make me happy so i don't do it. :biggrin:

Reply 53

Camelfan

Why don't ya hunt a fox and then a take a trip to some wind farm? :smile:

Reply 54

harmonize

Disagreement on controversial issues should only be an issue insofar as they impact the relationship.

e.g. gf being a Christian - I don't care. gf being a Christian so she won't have sex before marriage - I won't be in a relationship.

or e.g. gf being a feminist - I don't care. gf being a feminist so she expects to be sexually liberated and have multiple partners outside the relationship - I won't be in a relationship.

I can only see fox hunting and wind turbines being an issue if she wanted you to go fox hunting with her.

Reply 55

Bosch

Original post by Anonymous

Dude, your upset that she doesn't like how big white windmills look? Your such a wuss

Reply 56

ApplePi

Original post by Anonymous

I don't think you understand how much fox hunting, and the surrounding issues, are a way of life for some people. It's not just something that would come up very infrequently.

My mum divorced her first husband because he was so into fox hunting and she hated it. It led to lots of other problems and in the end they had to end it.

True story.

No matter how much you love someone, disagreements on controversial moral issues can cause big problems :frown:

Reply 57

lonelykatana

Original post by Anonymous

Come on man! Me and my girlfriend dont agree on even the least important matters!
We are complete opposites on 'controversial issues' (I wouldn't really class wind farms as controversial mind. :tongue:

)

Reply 58

Hopple

Let her bloodhounds out on a motorway while she's asleep, and steal money from her to donate to windfarms. She won't suspect a thing and you'll feel much better :smile:

Reply 59