If she has a boyfriend is she unavailable even if we both like each other...?

Basically, right at the start of Uni, I developed this crush on a rly pretty girl (pretty much straight after we met for the first time), who at the same time had a crush on me (she made this v. obvious-was definitely the case).

Now for aaages she tried to get me to talk to her/ flirt with her/ dance with her but I couldn't because I had complicated mental health problems.

Eventually, she started to pursue other guys (fair enough, she is v. pretty and had lots of guys going after her) and now she's got a boyfriend but at the same time I'm fairly sure she still has a crush on me, she just gave up on me because she wasn't getting anywhere.

Now she also knows that the reason why I acted so weirdly with her before and wasn't able to get to know her was because of mental health problems, which I am recovering from.

So what should I do? Is she out of bounds now that she has a boyfriend or should I make it clear that I still have feelings for her?
I was thinking of waiting until I get back to normal and then showing interest in her, I'm pretty sure she still has a big crush on me, and I know her feelings for me are strong enough for it to be interfering with her new relationship.

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Reply 1

moaty...it's gazza

She has a boyfriend and is therefore off limits, either wait or find someone else

Reply 2

allypallywally

Off limits mate, sorry

Reply 3

slacker07906

im tired. might go sleep soon. hate early mornings!

Reply 4

a_t

Depends on you really, as courage wolf says

If her relationship is BS and she's flirting with you etc than continue, a big confession is certainly not advisable however, just play it by ear, she certainly isn't off limits however, I wouldn't really consider any girl who is not married "off limits"

Reply 5

schoolstudent

Would you think she "very obviously" liked you if she had been fugly and had behaved in exactly the same way? Could just be wishful thinking on your part.

Reply 6

schoolstudent

Original post by slacker07906

im tired. might go sleep soon. hate early mornings!

same

i've got a headache now

getting up earlier means you get more done though, so it's not all bad

Reply 7

catsss

She is off limits. How can you not see that?

Reply 8

slacker07906

Original post by schoolstudent

same

i've got a headache now

getting up earlier means you get more done though, so it's not all bad

I got headache too! Ye I know what you mean. Early mornings do have their benefits

Reply 9

Evangelica

I'd sort out your mental health issues first tbh - priorities

Reply 10

Withered

Faint heart never won fair lady.

Dog eat dog. Get stuck in boy.

Reply 11

Mess.

If she was your girlfriend would you find it acceptable to have some creepy stalker with wish fullfillment, sexual gratification on his mind trying to get her to finish with you?
I assume your answer is, no.

Of course she is off limits :facepalm2:

Reply 12

Rascacielos

She's out of bounds until she dumps him.

Reply 13

deej3005

So what? Are we just supposed to ignore the fact that we both have feelings for each other?

And fyi, she had told her boyfriend that she liked me as well, and she even broke up with him because of me, but they got back together the next day, I think she may have decided to get back together with him mainly 'cos she knows that I'm not going to be at Uni next term anyway (beacuse I'm de-grading) so there would be no point in breaking up since I wasn't gonna be there.

Sooo, what would you people do in my position?

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

Maybe I should add that her boyfriend's in his last year at Uni and then he'll be off back to Germany...not sure if this makes a difference?

Reply 15

harmonize

Mate just think about it, she has attachment issues and will play you like she's playing him.

Generally any girl who flirts around in a relationship isn't a good idea as she'll just do the same to you - they just want their self esteem boosted and they want emotional gratification.

And yeah, girls who have boyfriends are out of bounds. Really, you wouldn't like someone to do the same to you, so don't do it!

Reply 16

Sereni

Original post by deej3005

1) fail at anon
2) she isnt totally off limits. But there are limits to what you can do. It would be ok for you to tell her how you feel and what you want and put the ball in her side of the court. It would obviously not be ok to make her cheat on her boyfriend. Note- putting the ball in her side of the court is the MOST you can do. Generally it is hard to critisise honesty.

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 17

IGregg

Original post by Anonymous

Maybe I should add that her boyfriend's in his last year at Uni and then he'll be off back to Germany...not sure if this makes a difference?

I was going to say yes she is off limits.. then I read he is German.. Continue!!!

Reply 18

deej3005

Original post by Sereni

That is what I meant, obviously I'm not gonna get her to cheat, but surely there must be some things I am allowed to do...such as let her know my feelings/ explain fully my past actions??