Ok let's cut to the chase
I'm at uni and have been going out with my girlfriend for nearly a year now. She is completely in love with me and has been since fairly early on. Problem is that to me it hasn't felt completely right since the beginning, there are many things about her that I haven't particularly been a fan of. As much of a dick I might sound, I hoped that over time and with a little encouragement these things would change, but they haven't changed much at all.
*tries to keep it shorter*I sometimes used to speak to a girl (that I used to like) that is a couple of years below me at school/sixth form and have stopped communication with her since leaving. I still like her because from what I can remember and stalk (sorrrrryyy) she ticks nearly all my boxes in terms of the kind of person I want to have a long lasting relationship with.
I don't have the heart to dump my current girlfriend after everything that we've been through, although we've both known that I've been close to doing that many times already...
My thoughts have been:
a) Dump current girlfriend and try to reach out to potential love of life.
-ve: Wait until holidays, talk through skype, wait until we both leave uni (ie wait a few years) so we can actually enjoy eachother's company. May not even work out anyway...
+ve: Be challenged and feel pushed to achieve, obtain a new level of confidence that she would instill in me. Find someone that I love with the full strength of my heart, someone I would fight for and always respect. Eventually die a happy and fulfilled man
b) Stay with current girlfriend and live a somewhat happy life
-ve: Always have that feeling of remorse and feel that I'm trying to fit a cube into a circular hole with our relationship. Feel like I'm being held back. Die slightly unfulfilled. Be in a relationship with someone that I barely respect anymore. Have children that don't turn out as amazing as I want them to be.
+ve: Make a lovely girl very, very happy. Have a girlfriend who will be with me for the whole of my life, who will do anything with me and for me.
c) Same as a) but no dumping until I feel confident about securing the other girl...
-ve: Current girlfriend may find out (she probably wouldn't). I'd be living a lie for a while and feel horrible about it.
+ve: If things don't work out I haven't dumped anyone and can carry on if I still want to
Sorry, that was long and probably unclear but any help would be appreciated
(I'm actually a nice guy if you got to know me but I have to be blunt about things here...)