Relationship Decision

Basically if you're unhappy with your current relationship the end it. Whether you go for the other girl or not is your choice but don't string your current gf along. Simples.

Hmm it's just that the current situation is very comfortable and convenient for me. I feel like I'm making progress in terms of self confidence, etc which I may begin to lose by dumping her... I also don't want to break her as she will literally rip to shreds. I do like her and I'd be pretty upset if she wasn't a part of my life, but I don't think she is "the One" as they say.

Will think about your comment. Cheers

You shouldn't use people just to make yourself feel better. It's a lot worse than breaking up now.
I've been used by almost every guy I did anything with, and it's not a fun feeling. It'll hurt loads more when you actually break up and she finds out.

OP - how old are you? You're at uni, you should be relatively young, why look for "the one" now? :/

Hmm it's just that the current situation is very comfortable and convenient for me. I feel like I'm making progress in terms of self confidence, etc which I may begin to lose by dumping her...

That's using her for me.

Someone wisely told me once that settling down isn't settling down WITH someone but settling down FOR someone.
You'll find the right person at the right time. At the end, it isn't about where you end up, but how you end up there. You're not wasting time by spending time with someone who isn't "the one." You're just enjoying every day as it comes and gaining more experience. It'll also help you understand more who you are and what you want. There's a world between our ideals and our reality by the way. Just because she ticks every box doesn't mean she's "the one." Love is something you cannot predict, it comes with the people you least expect it to come.

Guess I should talk to her about it? Perhaps I shouldn't and talking would rock the boat for no reason...

Ok, I wish WISH my ex had dumped me sooner, we went out for two years (in 6th form so a tad younger than you but similar situation excluding uni) and i knew he had issues with the relationship/me but he just wouldn't ditch me until he met another girl who had a big thing for him and she has now been his gf since we split up just under half a year ago... I would have been so much happier if he had dumped me sooner and/or told me the truth about why.

DONT string your gf along.. it's horrible, even if she knows you have issues she is not going to end things but in the long run its kinder to her.
You need to man up and end it,
and this other girl? Yes leave it a little bit and see how things go as trying to go straight into another relationship with a girl you "really like" through a casual bit of stalking is probably not the best idea... get to know new people at your Uni and see how things go, and if that other girl comes into your life again well thats great but probably not great straight away.

a.) Not great but probably best option
b.) You don't want this option so dump her, nicely face to face, telling the truth
c.) This makes you seem like really really big dick head.

[btw. if your current gf goes to your uni, you have allot/a few mutual friends, with facebook etc. she will find out if you immediately get with another girl (maybe not right away but it will happen).]

If you have no respect for your current girlfriend, end it with her for her own sake. It sounds like you've already pretty much decided on it

wow, its strange to find theres someone in the same position as im in at the moment. good luck making the right decision x

Ok let's cut to the chase

I'm at uni and have been going out with my girlfriend for nearly a year now. She is completely in love with me and has been since fairly early on. Problem is that to me it hasn't felt completely right since the beginning, there are many things about her that I haven't particularly been a fan of. As much of a dick I might sound, I hoped that over time and with a little encouragement these things would change, but they haven't changed much at all.

*tries to keep it shorter*

I sometimes used to speak to a girl (that I used to like) that is a couple of years below me at school/sixth form and have stopped communication with her since leaving. I still like her because from what I can remember and stalk (sorrrrryyy) she ticks nearly all my boxes in terms of the kind of person I want to have a long lasting relationship with.

I don't have the heart to dump my current girlfriend after everything that we've been through, although we've both known that I've been close to doing that many times already...

My thoughts have been:
a) Dump current girlfriend and try to reach out to potential love of life.
-ve: Wait until holidays, talk through skype, wait until we both leave uni (ie wait a few years) so we can actually enjoy eachother's company. May not even work out anyway...
+ve: Be challenged and feel pushed to achieve, obtain a new level of confidence that she would instill in me. Find someone that I love with the full strength of my heart, someone I would fight for and always respect. Eventually die a happy and fulfilled man

b) Stay with current girlfriend and live a somewhat happy life
-ve: Always have that feeling of remorse and feel that I'm trying to fit a cube into a circular hole with our relationship. Feel like I'm being held back. Die slightly unfulfilled. Be in a relationship with someone that I barely respect anymore. Have children that don't turn out as amazing as I want them to be.
+ve: Make a lovely girl very, very happy. Have a girlfriend who will be with me for the whole of my life, who will do anything with me and for me.

c) Same as a) but no dumping until I feel confident about securing the other girl...
-ve: Current girlfriend may find out (she probably wouldn't). I'd be living a lie for a while and feel horrible about it.
+ve: If things don't work out I haven't dumped anyone and can carry on if I still want to


Sorry, that was long and probably unclear but any help would be appreciated

(I'm actually a nice guy if you got to know me but I have to be blunt about things here...)

Ah bugger didn't see this until just now, perhaps it was being checked by admins.

I may go with your advice, it seems like the best option to at the very least tell her how I feel and at least end it in the short run... Sad times.

Lol, you're not going to like this but I just realised that I forgot to tell you all that I'm living with her next year in a house of 5....... But that shouldn't make a difference as I'd still enjoy her company.

Thank you for your help, I feel somewhat better about this situation now. Actually thank you everyone who has posted here!

Hopefully karma will be nice to you some day