21 and never had a gf

Keep anon/delete-know people on TSR.

I'm 21 and never had a gf. Just don't know where I've gone wrong, what can I do? It's more I'm worried about it will never happen, I'm 21 and by then over 90 percent must of had a relationship by then, maybe more..
Something is wrong with me and I need to sort it out. I think the main problem is I don't get enough contact time with women and when I do, they never seem interested.
Help!

girlfriends are overrated

Reply 3

stargirl63

17

It could just be not having enough confidence to approach a girl..? There may be many reasons, you could have just not found anyone that you particularly like just yet? There's many possibilities. Just because you haven't had one yet, doesn't mean that you will never have one!

You could say that a lot of people have had relationships, but then so what? Everyone is different. I know someone who didn't have a bf until the age of 24, and they just so happened to have met "the one" , and they have been happily married for about 40 years I think! It's not when you meet that person, it's who you meet.

Reply 4

rugbyladosc

12

Original post by Anonymous

Keep anon/delete-know people on TSR.

I'm 21 and never had a gf. Just don't know where I've gone wrong, what can I do? It's more I'm worried about it will never happen, I'm 21 and by then over 90 percent must of had a relationship by then, maybe more..
Something is wrong with me and I need to sort it out. I think the main problem is I don't get enough contact time with women and when I do, they never seem interested.
Help!

lol contact time...

try to be more confident and put yourself out there.

Reply 5

Clip

19

I thought facebook meant everyone had loads of contacts.

pu nam

Try being 26 and then come back to me!

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Clip

I thought facebook meant everyone had loads of contacts.

Only a few of them I actually talk to regularly out of my hundreds of facebook friends, most of which are guys lol!

Reply 9

effofex

18

I'm 21 and have never had a girlfriend either.

The difference is that I don't see it as a problem.

Chill out. Relax. Enjoy life.

Reply 10

U.S Lecce

3

Original post by Doyle&TheFourFathers

girlfriends are overrated

^^this!^^

Reply 11

alex_hk90

19

Original post by Anonymous

Keep anon/delete-know people on TSR.

I'm 21 and never had a gf. Just don't know where I've gone wrong, what can I do? It's more I'm worried about it will never happen, I'm 21 and by then over 90 percent must of had a relationship by then, maybe more..
Something is wrong with me and I need to sort it out. I think the main problem is I don't get enough contact time with women and when I do, they never seem interested.
Help!

It does not follow that because you haven't had a girlfriend by the age of 21 that there is something wrong with you:
Let A be not having a girlfriend by the age of 21, and B be having something wrong with you.
Consider P(A | B) /=/ P(B | A) [follows trivially from Bayes' Theorem].
i.e. P(A | B) can be very high, but that does not mean that P(B | A) is also high.
Or in English, just because most people who have something wrong with them wouldn't have had a girlfriend by the age of 21, it does not mean that most people who have not had a girlfriend by the age of 21 have something wrong with them.

If I was you I would stop worrying about it and find other more productive things to think about.

Reply 12

Roo Bix

11

Have you never been to a club or anything?

Reply 13

Ambs

7

First of all: stop worrying! It's never too late to find someone, and most certainly not at 21. So what if other people have had relationships at that age? I'm 21 too, and I can honestly say I wish the relationships I have been in never happened because I didn't get out of them feeling any better.

It looks like you already know why you haven't found the right person yet, and I agree; you won't meet a potential girlfriend if you don't meet any girls! Are you at university? Try joining a few societies, or hang out more with the girls that you do know. Try not to worry too much about finding the right girl - focus on having a great time, and all the rest will follow from that.

I know it can be difficult to be alone at times, but there really is no need to worry about being alone for the rest of your life. I have several friends who are older than you who have never been in relationships, and they are all lovely people who deserve an amazing partner. They just haven't been fortunate enough to stumble across the right person yet. But I'm sure they will, and I'm sure you will :smile:

Just don't allow it to become a priority; it won't help you in finding someone and will only make you feel miserable!

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Ambs

I have several friends who are older than you who have never been in relationships, and they are all lovely people who deserve an amazing partner. They just haven't been fortunate enough to stumble across the right person yet.

But have the girls you know had chances or attention from guys before? Are they just very selective or haven't had the chance. You see I have never had any attention or ever had the chance.

Reply 15

navarre

20

21 is not the age to be worrying about this sort of thing. I know plenty of guys who have never had girlfriends, they're in their late twenties.

It will happen

Reply 16

Ambs

7

Original post by Anonymous

But have the girls you know had chances or attention from guys before? Are they just very selective or haven't had the chance. You see I have never had any attention or ever had the chance.

I wasn't only talking about girls, guys too! One of girls has definitely had lots of opportunities, but since the feelings were never mutual she never had a relationship. I think several of the guys haven't had the opportunity yet, but I think that's just because I'm the only female friend they have. If you don't hang out with girls (or only with the intention of finding a partner) it can be difficult, but these are things that can easily be helped! I'm sure every single one of them (and you too) could find a girl within the week, if only they looked in the right places and put themselves out there. So my advice: don't be hellbent on it, just relax and stop worrying - girls won't get the chance to get to know you properly if they feel you're on the prowl. Socialise, meet people and have fun, and you will find someone.

Reply 17

i.student

i know this doesnt help but you are not missing that much. but try having one relationship with an approachable woman. if you know one woman you know them all.

approachable women are normally not in a group. if you want a girl who does everything with her girlfriends, you need to work a bit harder. (trust me! they are not worth it. they are all the same upside down anyway.)

lulz forever alone

21 and never had a gf

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