The Student Room Group

Making up after a bad time?

After being with my boyfriend for 8 months we split up a few days ago,- both of us have been really upset and it's still not getting any better.
After arguments, space and some chat, yesterday we decided to see how it goes over the summer.

He's very stressed at the moment, and has personal issues which get him down, and I really want to make him happy,- but I don't want to be going too fast, if he wants to take it slower than we did before.

I was thinking of going up there with some gifts, not material ones whcih we normally buy but nice ones:

A nice photo frame with a picture of us in,- we've only taken a few photos, probably ten or so, and all are on Facebook,- this would be nice in his room?

Some chocolates,- to eat when he's feeling down?

A packet of super noodles (as a joke),- because he lives off these things.

A nice tshirt and a matching necklace from like Topman,- as that's what he tends to wear.

and a card with how I feel about him on,- like a happy card?


--
Do you think that's taking it too far,- and if I ask to stop,- even as friends, as it's a 180 mile journey there and we only see each other once a week, I usually stopped Friday-Sunday but is it too soon to ask to stay?

And what about like, coming onto him after giving him the gifts and giving him the best night he's had in ages?


(I'm really just trying to make him smile for a while, cheer up him and show him I care, rather than just saying it?) - he's a guy and i'm a guy btw.

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Reply 1
That sounds really OTT. Topshop **** AND chocolates AND a photo montage? Come on.

I'm sure you could make him feel better by just having him round for a nice, no-pressure evening where you don't argue. Cook him a meal and have sex.
Reply 2
Original post by in_vogue
That sounds really OTT. Topshop **** AND chocolates AND a photo montage? Come on.

I'm sure you could make him feel better by just having him round for a nice, no-pressure evening where you don't argue. Cook him a meal and have sex.


I'm going to his?
I wanted to do the photo thing anyway,- I think that's the best thing. As it's long distance, is not a nice thought?

What if I just get him a few Krispy Cremes or Millies cookies rather than chocolates?

He's saying none of his friends care about him, he's felt like that for months,- and he and his mother don't have a good relationship, I want him to feel wanted,- something he said he didn't feel with me all the time before.
Reply 3
Sounds to me like you want him back?
Reply 4
Original post by Chimaira
Sounds to me like you want him back?


That's true, very true. But most of all I want him to know I care, and that he has me,- which is what he wants too.

Is to too much?
Didnt you just say that you broke up a few days ago as you both wanted some space, and now you're already talking about unexpectedly showering him with prezzies?!
Reply 6
Original post by sweetascandy
Didnt you just say that you broke up a few days ago as you both wanted some space, and now you're already talking about unexpectedly showering him with prezzies?!


No he wanted space after we broke up, which he had and we started speaking again?

We didn't split up for space...
Reply 7
Too soon - he said he wanted to take it slow, so you turning up with a box full of gifts just isn't slow.

If you're going round, take ONE THING that shows you care - makybe just the Krispy Kremes or something. I wouldn't go for the photo though. You're basically starting again, and taking a photo of the two of you to a new boyfriend isn't a normal gift.
Nothing beats Make up sex :smile:
Reply 9
I agree with twelve, it really is too soon. There really are a lot of gifts there, you need to pick one (or maybe two) that would mean a lot (probably best not to be the picture or the T-shirt).
Tbh the noodles as a joke seem like a good idea and the Millies Cookies :smile:

I wouldn't come onto him either, especially if he wants to take it slow.
Reply 10
Original post by moody_bum
I agree with twelve, it really is too soon. There really are a lot of gifts there, you need to pick one (or maybe two) that would mean a lot (probably best not to be the picture or the T-shirt).
Tbh the noodles as a joke seem like a good idea and the Millies Cookies :smile:

I wouldn't come onto him either, especially if he wants to take it slow.


That's what I was worrying about,- ruining it by coming onto him.
It's just, the past few months ive not wanted to be naked when we are having sex, and it's been patchy and stuff.
I wanted to show him the shape of things to come?
Reply 11
Original post by Potential Trigger
Nothing beats Make up sex :smile:


What if he rejects it though, could ruin the whole day?

I'd need to stay over to see him too, otherwise i'd be getting home at 5am and needing to get a taxi back to my house which is £20,- money i'd rather spend on/with him....

Just brought him a nice card, going to atleast take that for him.
It's a me to you card, says "just say say...." - inside,- "ive been thining of you"
Original post by Anonymous

I was thinking of going up there with some gifts, not material ones whcih we normally buy but nice ones:

A nice photo frame with a picture of us in
Some chocolates

A packet of super noodles

A nice tshirt and a matching necklace from like Topman

and a card


Sorry to break it to you, but they are material gifts.
Reply 13
Original post by jeffercake
Sorry to break it to you, but they are material gifts.


I meant it as in £70 jackets, and such.
Things which mean something,- like the me to you keyrings I brought him before...
Reply 14
Original post by Anonymous

Original post by Anonymous
That's what I was worrying about,- ruining it by coming onto him.
It's just, the past few months ive not wanted to be naked when we are having sex, and it's been patchy and stuff.
I wanted to show him the shape of things to come?



But too much at once and you'll probably freak him out or lose him.
Before you do something like that you need to talk to him especially as you've only just started taking things slow.
It's great that now you want to have sex, but what if he doesn't?
Reply 15
Original post by moody_bum
But too much at once and you'll probably freak him out or lose him.
Before you do something like that you need to talk to him especially as you've only just started taking things slow.
It's great that now you want to have sex, but what if he doesn't?


Yea i'll see how the day goes and what his mood is?
I've told him that when I see him next, he'll be smiling for weeks, as he said "i've not nothing to look forward to", so he can look forward to that.

I do hope it's this weekend, but if he needs more time, that's cool.
Original post by Anonymous
I meant it as in £70 jackets, and such.
Things which mean something,- like the me to you keyrings I brought him before...


Well you can't say one thing and then qualify afterwards that you meant something else.
If you're buying it, it's a material gift.
Reply 17
Original post by jeffercake
Well you can't say one thing and then qualify afterwards that you meant something else.
If you're buying it, it's a material gift.


Stop being so pedantic, you're not being clever, just annoying. There are many ways to define a "material gift", your definition is not the same as mine.

Grow up?
Reply 18
Just take some food and the card, the other things are too much and since he said he wants to take things slow I don't think you should come on to him either
Reply 19
Original post by Sly Racoon
Just take some food and the card, the other things are too much and since he said he wants to take things slow I don't think you should come on to him either


I don't want it to seem like i'm not making an effort though :/

grrr, this is all too hard to decide, it should be easy!

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