How do you tell Muslim parents you are gay?

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Do you like fruit OP? I don't...but maybe if you do that old Zaqqum fruit will be a tad more palatable...well as palatable as a thorned fruit which burns out your insides is going to get. :biggrin:

(I suppose this depends on whether you act on your feelings, although if you turn away from Islam and don't believe...well your fate is sealed to be honest. I'll be hanging around torture pit 1,455,305, look for the yellow hat! :biggrin:

...though they'll probably burn it off... :frown:

)

Anyway...I suppose you probably shouldn't tell them until you've managed to move out in case they take it badly..which...with the double whammy if you not being a Muslim AND being a homosexual..they probably will.

Good luck anyway assuming you're serious (we seem to get this exact scenario quite often, some may be people testing what responses are), a very difficult situation to be in. I suppose if you want to try and reason with them you could take the angle that their deity is supposed to be "most merciful, most benificient", and so surely he would want them to forgive you? Or that if he castes you into Jahannam for your sexuality, which you cannot help....is he deserving of worship at all..(I say he, one assumed God is not one member of a species so has no sex.)

Reply 41

Hardballer

Original post by Aminaubah

Hahahhaha, you're so funny :colonhash:

Please, just slap yourself for your dumb joke.

its not a joke, allah or whatever the **** you believe in isn't real, nor is any god, or santa claus, or fairies.

Reply 42

Hardballer

Original post by anonymous 428

wow someone's insensitive

if your going to be homophobic then whatever, but don't do it because some fake god commanded you to be, or didnt command you to because its all a load of made up bull****. If you're gonna make stuff up then fine, I like movies and games and other fictional stuff, but religion was invented to control people.

Reply 43

Wenger

Original post by Harrifer

As far as I'm aware, the Islamic view is that homosexuality is a mental disorder that can be 'cured'.

I'm sorry to hear about your parents, and I hope your relationship with them stays together.

If what you say is true, then the OP's parents should still love him, as you cannot control a 'mental disorder' like any other mental problem people are affected by.

Reply 44

anonymous 428

Original post by Hardballer

just wait and watchh
just a little while : )

plus i didn't even say anything..
and just for arguments sake.. who do u think came up with all those religious books.. think someone could sit and write all that down in a plan to take over the world and make people submit :s-smilie:

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 45

0906079

Guys you don't understand how strict and cold muslims parents can be regarding these things... especially if they're Asian.

I had a friend who told his Pakistani parents he was gay and after trying to "correct" him for a month, they kicked him out of the house and disowned him. Apparantly their reputation in the community and their religion is more important than their children, which is one of the things I hate most about Asian parents tbh.

Best advise I can give you OP is not to tell them if you don't have a place to live and some money saved. Just go stay in uni (if you're that age) and save up some money and then when you're older you can sensibly explain to them it's not your choice and you were born this way, doing this also disables them to use the excuse of "you're too young and immature; you don't know what you're talking about" to try and convert you. And who knows, in the future you might discover you're actually bi and fall in love with a girl.

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 46

loling909

Original post by Hardballer

its not a joke, allah or whatever the **** you believe in isn't real, nor is any god, or santa claus, or fairies.

Oh and you have proof that fairies, god and santa claus don't exist. Well done, I think you deserve a nobel prize!

Reply 47

Hardballer

Original post by loling909

Oh and you have proof that fairies, god and santa claus don't exist. Well done, I think you deserve a nobel prize!

your the one that needs proof pal

Reply 48

dmz

You don't!

Syed comes to mind :lol:

Reply 49

Theconomist

Dad, if you unzip i'll get a boner.Get it?

Reply 50

loling909

Original post by Hardballer

your the one that needs proof pal

I need proof? Seriously stop saying things like God doesn't exist when clearly you don't have any evidence. Once you do, let me know, then we can party about it together. :|

Reply 51

JohnC2211

If, like you said, you're not a Muslim, then why should you conform to your parents wishes?

They've likely come to terms with the fact that you do not believe as they believe, and acting upon your homosexuality would just be another branch of that. If they disown you then what kind of parents are they? Ones that you could do without.

Reply 52

username461215

Do a "Syeed" - Eastenders style

Clearly a troll.

Original post by Anonymous

I'm gay and my parents are strict muslims and want me to get married to a muslim girl. They are extremely homophobic. I do not know what to do.

Dress like this and I'm sure they will get the idea :sexface:

Reply 55

mantis117

All this homophobia stuff needs to stop now! He can't control the way he feels. He's a human being and bleeds the same blood as everybody else on this planet. All the people who are so quick to dismiss him and his "Medical condition" are most probably closeted homosexuals themselves.

Reply 56

innerhollow

Original post by tieyourmotherdown

And what good does that do? Him not telling them won't change the fact that he is gay. They're going to have to find out sooner or later.

I don't think you have any concept of strict Muslim culture. Having a gay child is possibly the most shameful thing that can happen to a family in a strict Muslim community. Pride is very important in these pseudo-theocratic communities, and the OP's family would risk being ostracised for having a gay child. Therefore, if the OP tells his parents he risks being kicked out and disowned. His family would never speak of him again.

They don't ever have to find out, I would recommend the OP just sticks it out and moves far away when he can. When he's financially stable (i.e. after university when he has a job), then maybe he can tell his parents if he really wants to. Until then, it's too dangerous.

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 57

ZizziHikaru

Definitely don't marry the poor girl. You have to tell them. Explain that Islam doesn't condemn homosexuals, just promiscuity.

Or marry a muslim Iranian transexual.

Reply 58

Kohta

Original post by goddfather9

how do u know your gay?

do u not find women attractive, OR do u get a stiffy around men

i dnt want to offend you, im just curious how you came to the conclusion that your gay.

Not OP but... how did you come to the conclusion that you're straight?

It's not a conscious decision, gay people just grow up naturally attracted to dudes the same way as straight guys grow up naturally attracted to women.