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its like normal life... but with more freedom, alcohol and sex
Hi - don't be nervous, you'll be bound to find someone like you.
Come to think of it, it's probably good to be nervous, tentative, cautious to begin with. The loud noisy types in Fresher's week have to live up to that, and often can't, and if they can, they are normally annoying and no-one likes them come the second semester. Uni has a massive mix of people. I am pretty plain, as are most others, so I go with the flow, don't mind clubbing occassionally, prefer hanging out and talking... I'd also say you spend *A LOT* of time with other people, which isn't completely my thing - I like to be a bit anti-social at times.
Typically, it's a whole lot friendlier than school. Everyone is really nice, if not a little dull. That said, if you find the people you end up in halls with a bit dull, you can just join the societies - certain types of music, sports (be wary!!), arts, drama. Actually, the obsolete sports like archery (twa-ts), or pool/snooker (yess!!) are often the most chilled out and sociable (rugby is pretty boisterious - if you're 'nervous', don't go here). But it's fun. You learn a lot about yourself. You'll probably get a bit depressed at some point, because it's quite hard living away from your family and friends, and everything's a little bit forced, but remember that many others are just like you. Gregarious types might have a massive friendship group, but anyone can find a few good close friends who they can talk about anything with.
My advice would be: be wild, but not in Fresher's week. Let people know you as your parents/friends back home know you first (kind, nice, easy going, chilled, friendly, quiet)... then start experimenting when you've got friends you're already comfortable with. That is, you've *got* to drink, chuck stuff out of windows, try pathetically and ineffectively to get with girls in clubs. *Don't* spend too much time on facebook, it's literally a waste of time - either do socialising, or education (both your syllabus, and read some clever books and papers and stuff too). Good luck!
Come to think of it, it's probably good to be nervous, tentative, cautious to begin with. The loud noisy types in Fresher's week have to live up to that, and often can't, and if they can, they are normally annoying and no-one likes them come the second semester. Uni has a massive mix of people. I am pretty plain, as are most others, so I go with the flow, don't mind clubbing occassionally, prefer hanging out and talking... I'd also say you spend *A LOT* of time with other people, which isn't completely my thing - I like to be a bit anti-social at times.
Typically, it's a whole lot friendlier than school. Everyone is really nice, if not a little dull. That said, if you find the people you end up in halls with a bit dull, you can just join the societies - certain types of music, sports (be wary!!), arts, drama. Actually, the obsolete sports like archery (twa-ts), or pool/snooker (yess!!) are often the most chilled out and sociable (rugby is pretty boisterious - if you're 'nervous', don't go here). But it's fun. You learn a lot about yourself. You'll probably get a bit depressed at some point, because it's quite hard living away from your family and friends, and everything's a little bit forced, but remember that many others are just like you. Gregarious types might have a massive friendship group, but anyone can find a few good close friends who they can talk about anything with.
My advice would be: be wild, but not in Fresher's week. Let people know you as your parents/friends back home know you first (kind, nice, easy going, chilled, friendly, quiet)... then start experimenting when you've got friends you're already comfortable with. That is, you've *got* to drink, chuck stuff out of windows, try pathetically and ineffectively to get with girls in clubs. *Don't* spend too much time on facebook, it's literally a waste of time - either do socialising, or education (both your syllabus, and read some clever books and papers and stuff too). Good luck!
(edited 13 years ago)
It depends what your life was like before.
I find it claustrophobic, intermittently frustrating and prevalently boring. This said I don't enjoy going out clubbing all the time nearly as much as most people here and my interests don't match the people I live with. I've met some great people however.
People tend to enjoy it more if their life was less interesting and more sheltered before hand I think and less if they liked their life how it was - which is the case with me.
I find it claustrophobic, intermittently frustrating and prevalently boring. This said I don't enjoy going out clubbing all the time nearly as much as most people here and my interests don't match the people I live with. I've met some great people however.
People tend to enjoy it more if their life was less interesting and more sheltered before hand I think and less if they liked their life how it was - which is the case with me.
PaRTy TOWn 24/7 LLO.
It depends on what you aim to get from it. It can be as lonely and isolated as you like, or you can be surrounded by people all the time. Or, a much more attractive proposition, you can get a very healthy work/life mix. It's insane the amount of stuff you can do in a day if you just say 'yes' to everything, although you have to remind yourself that you've come all this way to attain a degree, primarily. Or maybe you haven't. Up to you.
It depends on what you aim to get from it. It can be as lonely and isolated as you like, or you can be surrounded by people all the time. Or, a much more attractive proposition, you can get a very healthy work/life mix. It's insane the amount of stuff you can do in a day if you just say 'yes' to everything, although you have to remind yourself that you've come all this way to attain a degree, primarily. Or maybe you haven't. Up to you.
(edited 13 years ago)
Original post by mchaplin
Have you got any advice?
I'm so nervous about it.
I'm so nervous about it.
The social side of university is quite good. You'll find a broad range of people, even at a smaller uni, so don't worry if you're not into drinking.
I'd say you should take full advantage of freshers week to meet new people. Stay away from cliquey types because they're basically children in adult bodies.
Learn how to cook, it's not hard and there really is no excuse for not being able to. Cooking from scratch will save you a fortune, make you healthier and leave you with a decent skill which can even help you socially. Everyone likes a good cook. Don't worry about the initial failures, laugh them off and learn for next time.
Know your limits regarding alcohol. People don't enjoy spending time with people they have to look after because of their own irresponsibility. A good meal before you go out goes a long way towards keeping your stomach steady and your head clear so you don't make a fool of yourself. In addition, having a couple of drinks midweek will help your overall tolerance to alcohol. I know people who only drink about every couple of weeks, and as a result their tolerance is very low and they can piss everyone else off.
Make an effort to enjoy your course. It ought to be something you have some passion and interest about anyway, and this might be the last time you spend time with so many people who share this interest. The world and his wife have been to uni, so for you to stand out in the abysmal graduate job market, you need a decent grade, and the key to that is to take real interest in your work. You're going to pay for those lectures one day so you should bloody well go to them!
Last of all, make sure you move out of home. It will give you good life experience, whilst at the same time giving you a better perspective on your own family. Worth the expense. It's ridiculous to go to a local university anyway, that defeats some of the purpose, you might as well have done a course online.
Original post by chidona
PaRTy TOWn 24/7 LLO.
It depends on what you aim to get from it. It can be as lonely and isolated as you like, or you can be surrounded by people all the time. Or, a much more attractive proposition, you can get a very healthy work/life mix. It's insane the amount of stuff you can do in a day if you just say 'yes' to everything, although you have to remind yourself that you've come all this way to attain a degree, primarily. Or maybe you haven't. Up to you.
It depends on what you aim to get from it. It can be as lonely and isolated as you like, or you can be surrounded by people all the time. Or, a much more attractive proposition, you can get a very healthy work/life mix. It's insane the amount of stuff you can do in a day if you just say 'yes' to everything, although you have to remind yourself that you've come all this way to attain a degree, primarily. Or maybe you haven't. Up to you.
Not really...
All it is really is just going away to study... Yeah first year is something else, madness all round but after that it's rather meh. Still fun, but nothing you couldn't do at home really.
You should love it though
Original post by paddy__power
It depends what your life was like before.
I find it claustrophobic, intermittently frustrating and prevalently boring. This said I don't enjoy going out clubbing all the time nearly as much as most people here and my interests don't match the people I live with. I've met some great people however.
People tend to enjoy it more if their life was less interesting and more sheltered before hand I think and less if they liked their life how it was - which is the case with me.
I find it claustrophobic, intermittently frustrating and prevalently boring. This said I don't enjoy going out clubbing all the time nearly as much as most people here and my interests don't match the people I live with. I've met some great people however.
People tend to enjoy it more if their life was less interesting and more sheltered before hand I think and less if they liked their life how it was - which is the case with me.
I'm sorry to hear that was your experience. Like you I don't enjoy clubs (love pubs though
), and I was very far from sheltered as a teenager. My housemates are very different people to me in many ways as well. We do find common ground though. It's always there if you're willing to make the effort.What do you find claustrophobic and frustratinc about uni? I must admit I'm looking forward to go out into the adult world (yes, that's how I see it) and get a job, but I'm in my third year, so that's probably a good thing, and a natural progression.
Original post by Harrifer
I'm sorry to hear that was your experience. Like you I don't enjoy clubs (love pubs though), and I was very far from sheltered as a teenager. My housemates are very different people to me in many ways as well. We do find common ground though. It's always there if you're willing to make the effort.
), and I was very far from sheltered as a teenager. My housemates are very different people to me in many ways as well. We do find common ground though. It's always there if you're willing to make the effort. Indeed and I've found it with many people, but this is very different to 'clicking' with people. I suppose I just had some brilliant mates back home who I no longer get to see.
What do you find claustrophobic and frustratinc about uni? I must admit I'm looking forward to go out into the adult world (yes, that's how I see it) and get a job, but I'm in my third year, so that's probably a good thing, and a natural progression.
In the sense that I have to be in such close proximity with so many people all the time. There is no particular sense of privacy and I'm not a fan of the mentality - like you I would far rather go to the pub. Back home I enjoyed clubbing sometimes but it was better because it was also with a massive groups of friends. Most of my flatmates are lovely, as are most of the people I've met, but the same can be said of non-university people.
Frustrating because I feel like I've taken a step backwards. I dislike having to go to the laundrette and dislike the fact that so many people are so messy. I understand that people have only just left home where often everything was done for them but I lived alone for a couple of years before university and am just used to things being different. I miss the company of adults. This seems a slightly strange thing to say given I'm only 19 but it's what I'm used to.
My opinion is coloured by a number of other personal factors though and I don't hate the experience, just find it very underwhelming.
(edited 13 years ago)
Overrated.
I'm not saying student life isn't good, but remember all those people saying it's a non-stop party?
They're lying.
You'll get stressed about work you can't do, you'll feel a bit out of place from the sheer difference of University when compared to your school life, you'll get homesick, you'll find people you'll hate more than you thought you could ever hate somebody, and there'll be times where you feel alone.
...I'm not saying this to make you dread University - you really, really shouldn't, it's just a lot of people arrive at University with ridiculous expectatons. It is a worthwhile experience, people are much more friendly than they were at school, and if you put yourself out there just a little, you will make some amazing friends.
I'm not saying student life isn't good, but remember all those people saying it's a non-stop party?
They're lying.
You'll get stressed about work you can't do, you'll feel a bit out of place from the sheer difference of University when compared to your school life, you'll get homesick, you'll find people you'll hate more than you thought you could ever hate somebody, and there'll be times where you feel alone.
...I'm not saying this to make you dread University - you really, really shouldn't, it's just a lot of people arrive at University with ridiculous expectatons. It is a worthwhile experience, people are much more friendly than they were at school, and if you put yourself out there just a little, you will make some amazing friends.
Original post by paddy__power
Indeed and I've found it with many people, but this is very different to 'clicking' with people. I suppose I just had some brilliant mates back home who I no longer get to see.
In the sense that I have to be in such close proximity with so many people all the time. There is no particular sense of privacy and I'm not a fan of the mentality - like you I would far rather go to the pub. Back home I enjoyed clubbing sometimes but it was better because it was also with a massive groups of friends. Most of my flatmates are lovely, as are most of the people I've met, but the same can be said of non-university people.
Frustrating because I feel like I've taken a step backwards. I dislike having to go to the laundrette and dislike the fact that so many people are so messy. I understand that people have only just left home where often everything was done for them but I lived alone for a couple of years before university and am just used to things being different. I miss the company of adults. This seems a slightly strange thing to say given I'm only 19 but it's what I'm used to.
My opinion is coloured by a number of other personal factors though and I don't hate the experience, just find it very underwhelming.
In the sense that I have to be in such close proximity with so many people all the time. There is no particular sense of privacy and I'm not a fan of the mentality - like you I would far rather go to the pub. Back home I enjoyed clubbing sometimes but it was better because it was also with a massive groups of friends. Most of my flatmates are lovely, as are most of the people I've met, but the same can be said of non-university people.
Frustrating because I feel like I've taken a step backwards. I dislike having to go to the laundrette and dislike the fact that so many people are so messy. I understand that people have only just left home where often everything was done for them but I lived alone for a couple of years before university and am just used to things being different. I miss the company of adults. This seems a slightly strange thing to say given I'm only 19 but it's what I'm used to.
My opinion is coloured by a number of other personal factors though and I don't hate the experience, just find it very underwhelming.
I'll be honest, I didn't enjoy my first year of university either. I would have rather spent the year hitchhiking around Europe like I had planned. I just kept on thinking of it. Even hitchhiking to Ireland almost gave my mother a heart attack, so it's probably for the better that I never did the Europe trip in the end.
I also dislike the immaturity of many students. I'm fortunate enough to have fairly grown up housemates this year. Last year I lodged, and the year before that I commuted from home, so it's never been a big problem. Growing up we always had chores and responsibilities and i used to rather resent the kids who could just dump their plate in the sink and run off again. Clearly it doesn't help them at all when they're older.
Original post by Harrifer
I'll be honest, I didn't enjoy my first year of university either. I would have rather spent the year hitchhiking around Europe like I had planned. I just kept on thinking of it. Even hitchhiking to Ireland almost gave my mother a heart attack, so it's probably for the better that I never did the Europe trip in the end.
I also dislike the immaturity of many students. I'm fortunate enough to have fairly grown up housemates this year. Last year I lodged, and the year before that I commuted from home, so it's never been a big problem. Growing up we always had chores and responsibilities and i used to rather resent the kids who could just dump their plate in the sink and run off again. Clearly it doesn't help them at all when they're older.
I also dislike the immaturity of many students. I'm fortunate enough to have fairly grown up housemates this year. Last year I lodged, and the year before that I commuted from home, so it's never been a big problem. Growing up we always had chores and responsibilities and i used to rather resent the kids who could just dump their plate in the sink and run off again. Clearly it doesn't help them at all when they're older.
Things are what they are at the end of the day. I plan to leave if I can find a full time job by the end of the academic year anyway so it doesn't much matter
Original post by zKlown
Not really...
All it is really is just going away to study... Yeah first year is something else, madness all round but after that it's rather meh. Still fun, but nothing you couldn't do at home really.
You should love it though
All it is really is just going away to study... Yeah first year is something else, madness all round but after that it's rather meh. Still fun, but nothing you couldn't do at home really.
You should love it though
Well, that's the point I was making. It's up to you. I know plenty of 2nd/3rd years who can out-party a fresher any day of the week, because they've come to network, to be defined by extra-curriculars rather than do a degree per se. There's no standard path through university; the most you can say is that the academic workload gets heavier later on, but that doesn't mean you have to plough as much time into it.
Hell, Stephen Fry wrote his 2 dissertations in a couple of nights and got a third and 2:2 for them, respectively.
It's erm.. different. I enjoy some aspects of it and hate others!
I have really enjoyed the freedom and having to learn to look after myself. Obviously people who are friends all look out for each other but it's mainly looking after number one.
At first I really enjoyed actually going to uni and in the first few weeks it was jam packed with seminars, tutorials and extra lectures on top of our normal ones but after that we had hardly any lectures so I didn't really enjoy it as much. I'm the kind of person who needs to be forced to learn and don't really like how independent uni work is but I suppose if I want a degree I'm gonna have to get used to that.
Nights out are good but do get boring. At the moment my friends/flatmates seem to be out about 4 times a week and I'm just not into that because I haven't got much money and I just feel like it's always the same place so it's a bit boring unless I'm really drunk. But I do love sitting in the pub/union and having a drink
It feels like life mainly revolves around living in halls. I don't spend much time in uni at all! But then it's really different for people studying something like Chemistry which means they have full days in labs rather than the odd 2 hour lecture like we do in Psychology!
I have really enjoyed the freedom and having to learn to look after myself. Obviously people who are friends all look out for each other but it's mainly looking after number one.
At first I really enjoyed actually going to uni and in the first few weeks it was jam packed with seminars, tutorials and extra lectures on top of our normal ones but after that we had hardly any lectures so I didn't really enjoy it as much. I'm the kind of person who needs to be forced to learn and don't really like how independent uni work is but I suppose if I want a degree I'm gonna have to get used to that.
Nights out are good but do get boring. At the moment my friends/flatmates seem to be out about 4 times a week and I'm just not into that because I haven't got much money and I just feel like it's always the same place so it's a bit boring unless I'm really drunk. But I do love sitting in the pub/union and having a drink
It feels like life mainly revolves around living in halls. I don't spend much time in uni at all! But then it's really different for people studying something like Chemistry which means they have full days in labs rather than the odd 2 hour lecture like we do in Psychology!
****, well for me it is anyway.
Original post by Harrifer
I'll be honest, I didn't enjoy my first year of university either. I would have rather spent the year hitchhiking around Europe like I had planned. I just kept on thinking of it. Even hitchhiking to Ireland almost gave my mother a heart attack, so it's probably for the better that I never did the Europe trip in the end.
I also dislike the immaturity of many students. I'm fortunate enough to have fairly grown up housemates this year. Last year I lodged, and the year before that I commuted from home, so it's never been a big problem. Growing up we always had chores and responsibilities and i used to rather resent the kids who could just dump their plate in the sink and run off again. Clearly it doesn't help them at all when they're older.
I also dislike the immaturity of many students. I'm fortunate enough to have fairly grown up housemates this year. Last year I lodged, and the year before that I commuted from home, so it's never been a big problem. Growing up we always had chores and responsibilities and i used to rather resent the kids who could just dump their plate in the sink and run off again. Clearly it doesn't help them at all when they're older.
My flatmates are SO immature too! I get on with them well but it does my head in.
Like this morning for example one of them walked from his room to another room in the flat wearing only the tighest boxers and he's not even 'fit'. And the other flatmate thought it would be funny to get me into the room for the shock of my life in the morning seeing him almost naked. And when everyone is around our flat before a night out he finds it funny to go and get ready and walk out of his room naked with just a tea-towel.
My friends flatmate also once decided he's wake up everybody after a night out because he always gets woken up. So he went into his flatmates room who was out at the time and got all her underwear from her drawer and put it all over the kitchen, took her mattress out, put porn on her telly on max volume and then decided to turn the sofa upside down in the kitchen. And it woke up the whole block!
A 'friend' of mine also trashed my flat by decided to cover the whole room in BBQ sauce and eggs and popping about 20 waterbombs..
I know flats get messy and stuff but it was deliberate and just over the top.
Original post by Joey_Barton
either do socialising, or education
lol
I agree with most of what you said, but I read the above line (i think this wasn't intended?) that at uni you have to pick which to do, and do that all the time.
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