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Why self harm?

Just out of interest, who on here has self harmed, and what were your personal reasons for doing so?

Do you see a logical reason for doing so, or is it just uncontrollable emotion entirely?

Reply 1

No655321

2

It's more fun than writing essays?

Reply 2

ithoughtofthis

2

Original post by xarcul

Just out of interest, who on here has self harmed, and what were your personal reasons for doing so?

Do you see a logical reason for doing so, or is it just uncontrollable emotion entirely?

For me, when I was foolish enough to do it, It was a mixture of several overwhelming emotions put together.
When you dont care about yourself, its almost painless. Infact, I used to occasionally get some pleasure out of it, like ' ha! take that you worthless bitch. No one cares about you so why should you care about yourself'. Its horrible and harsh.

Anway, Im so over all that now thank goodness! :rolleyes:

Reply 3

chemical_bex

14

It was like, the only way to release all that 'pressure' built up inside.
It's difficult to explain.

Reply 4

Ducklighter

16

Constantly bullied by chavs, I didn't realised that I could speak up and they wouldn't beat the crap out of me, so I self harmed to cope with the pain.

Reply 5

mousey18

I lost my Uncle to the horrible cancer who was like another or better than my dad, I couldn't find a way to subside the pain so took it out on myself. I kept beating myself down and convinced myself that I should be punished for reasons like 'Why couldn't you have spent more time with him?' I kept making excuses until it got serious, it was only until my friend came to me in tears did I realise that I wasn't the only person I was hurting :/ Not the most fun I've ever had

Reply 6

kerily

15

I found that I got a high off it. Granted I was about 12 when I started and had nothing to compare this to, but as I've matured and got a high off various other, more socially acceptable activities, I've found that the rush of endorphins you get from self-harm is still second to none.

I also didn't feel pain, and it was a fantastic outlet for self-hate. And it's to do with control. It was also, for me, about ****ing things up; I wanted to make sure that myself-in-the-future would be stuck with noticeable scars which would be embarassing, awkward and upsetting for them, because I felt I 'deserved' it.

Reply 7

xarcul

OP

11

Original post by Ducklighter

Constantly bullied by chavs, I didn't realised that I could speak up and they wouldn't beat the crap out of me, so I self harmed to cope with the pain.

But how does harming yourself help you to cope with the pain?

Reply 8

Samz

14

tbh, it just became a habit. something goes wrong, have a bad day, say the wrong thing.. it just became like somebody lighting up a cigerette if they were stressed.
it made all the feelings i had inside, about not being good enough etc.. it made me not feel them so much, because i felt this instead.
i can't even remember why i started. it was clearly such an unimportant event but it just led to such ridiculous things.
i can see now, that i was foolish and stupid for doing it - but i can't say i will never go back to it. sometimes i still think about it, and i haven't done it for years.
it's odd, and difficult to really explain how i feel about it.

Reply 9

angelbones

13

It's hard to explain to someone who's never had any inclination to do it.
For me, it was/is about feeling something. Also punishing myself.

Reply 10

Tabers

15

In my case it just happened. I didn't harm in the way that most people think of self harm. I scratched myself just like you would when you scratched an itch. But I didn't stop. I kept on at it until I broke the skin. It was subconscious at first, didn't realise I was doing it. But when I did I found it hard to stop. School was stressing me out, work had to be done and I was writing way too much risking not even getting half way through exams. After 6 months of counselling I stopped, but it wasn't easy. Never again do I want to go through that!

Reply 11

OddThings

15

I havent done it before but I understand the emotional pain that drives people to do it.I still suffer from depression badly to this day and never really got out of it but dont feel that self harm makes me feel any better.I'm more of a verbal abuser.

Reply 12

Dekota-XS

2

Don't knock it till you've tried it

Reply 13

Jade2009

It's different for everybody. Some do it to regain the control lost in their lives through certain situations, some do it as a form of 'punishment' (e.g. "I deserve this, I'm worthless..."), some do it as a release of anger, some do it to temporarily block out the mental pain through the physical pain of self harm. It's hard to understand unless you've ever self harmed or had thoughts of doing it I guess.

Reply 14

daisydaffodil

15

Took the feelings of anger and frustration and fear away, turned it into pain and shock - helped me regain control when I thought I'd lost it.
Punishment too - sometimes I thought it would make a better person.

Reply 15

screenager2004

14

I was getting bullied at school and I read in Cosmo Girl that that's what bullied people do to feel better so I tried it out to see if it would.
I was like 13, and the 'self harming' phase lasted about a month and I got bored of it. It does make you feel better, but so does a hug or listening to music.... and it doesn't stop bullies from bullying you so I didn't see the point.

Reply 16

Coldplaydoh

16

Started when I was being bullied, continued because of inadequacy but whereas people see it in a bad respect, it felt like a release and like my hands were back on the steering wheel. I assume it's different for a lot of people, but it was the only thing I felt control over at the time when I was kinda going mad inside.

I think I might have overcome it now though, and haven't done it for probably...8 months or something?

Reply 17

kerily

15

I take it I'm the only one who actively enjoyed it then? :awesome:

It's also very addictive, which isn't a tremendous reason to start, but tends to keep you going once you have.

Reply 18

iFelch

It gives us normal people something to laugh at...

Reply 19

Anonymous #1

I got very worked up and depressed and angry about certain things, like parents, school, friends, and my mother had died when I was 3 so I always felt very angry about it and 'why me' and how unfair it was etc... so when everything got really built up in me I would cut myself, and I poured boiled water once, and various other stuff I used to do. It used to be a release from it all, and I found that the more emotional and worked up I was, the less I felt it, and the more I got a kind of high.

Why self harm?

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