Boyfriend's ex was a beautiful sex vixen!! :(

I hope some of you can slap some reason into me, I feel like I'm going insane.

First of all, I'm 20 and my current boyfriend is my first relationship (I know, I know, late bloomer). Things are going really well but at the back of my mind there's always been horrible thoughts bubbling about how I'm so much more sexually inexperienced than he is (he hasn't had that many, but more than zero!), and because he's the first person I've done regular sexual stuff with, I'm rubbish and don't know what I'm doing. I've read various tips and advice and I think I'm slowly improving...I told him frankly what I felt and he couldn't have been more reassuring and lovely, he told me I don't understand how much he cares about me and that it's a good thing I'm inexperienced as that means I'm not a whore.

However, the other day I was on facebook and came across his ex's and she is STUNNING, beautiful face, has bigger boobs than me, is an Ann Summer's rep AND this is the worst thing...she has a double tongue piercing!! This reinforces my insecurities tenfold because I know girls only get tongue piercings to give better blowjobs and blowjobs are my main insecurity because I've always felt hopeless at them So now I keep imagining how she was so much better at them than me and the many many orgasms he must have had from them, and it makes me want to cry. I feel so inadequate.

(Additional info: He told me he's been cheated on twice and I'm sure she was one of them, he only dated her for a few months).

I just need someone else's perspective on this. I know I'm being incredibly insecure and it's a massive turn-off, that's why I could never tell him all this. She just keeps haunting me in my mind.

Right, prepare yourself because in the kindest way possible I am going to slap some sense in to you.

Things are going well, the only problem is in your mind.

You are understandably nervous about being inexperienced, your relationship is steady enough that you felt comfortable enough to tell him this, and the icing on the cake is that he reacted in a reassuring and lovely way. You couldn't ask for more, honey.

Now, the ex:

She is an ex for a reason.

I haven't seen you, but I know for a fact your boyfriend thinks you're beautiful. Don't worry about her looks, they obviously weren't enough to save the relationship.

I think selling dildos to drunken groups of women is a bit, well, unladylike personally. I definitely don't see Ann Summers reps as sex vixens.

She had her tongue pierced, and you can make blowjobs more interesting in a hundred different ways if you want, but just know men are happy to get blowjobs in the first place, regardless of piercings.


I hope I wasn't too harsh on you but that's my perspective as a complete stranger to the situation. You sound like you have a good guy, go and enjoy him honey!

Thank you!! Ok ok I have seen the light, I knew I was being unnecessarily silly in the back of my mind, just needed sensible perspectives from outsiders to confirm this. Yes he's always telling me I'm gorgeous etc so you're right, I can't ask for anything more. The problem is my own stupid head which I'm making an active effort to sort out .

But thank you again for your post, you really helped put things in perspective, I tried to rep it but apparently I've been too over-zealous in my repping today!

I hope some of you can slap some reason into me, I feel like I'm going insane.

First of all, I'm 20 and my current boyfriend is my first relationship (I know, I know, late bloomer). Things are going really well but at the back of my mind there's always been horrible thoughts bubbling about how I'm so much more sexually inexperienced than he is (he hasn't had that many, but more than zero!), and because he's the first person I've done regular sexual stuff with, I'm rubbish and don't know what I'm doing. I've read various tips and advice and I think I'm slowly improving...I told him frankly what I felt and he couldn't have been more reassuring and lovely, he told me I don't understand how much he cares about me and that it's a good thing I'm inexperienced as that means I'm not a whore.

However, the other day I was on facebook and came across his ex's and she is STUNNING, beautiful face, has bigger boobs than me, is an Ann Summer's rep AND this is the worst thing...she has a double tongue piercing!! This reinforces my insecurities tenfold because I know girls only get tongue piercings to give better blowjobs and blowjobs are my main insecurity because I've always felt hopeless at them So now I keep imagining how she was so much better at them than me and the many many orgasms he must have had from them, and it makes me want to cry. I feel so inadequate.

(Additional info: He told me he's been cheated on twice and I'm sure she was one of them, he only dated her for a few months).

I just need someone else's perspective on this. I know I'm being incredibly insecure and it's a massive turn-off, that's why I could never tell him all this. She just keeps haunting me in my mind.

'AND this is the worst thing...she has a double tongue piercing!! This reinforces my insecurities tenfold because I know girls only get tongue piercings to give better blowjobs '

did not know this...

So what?

At least he's with you now. And that's all that matters.

I hope some of you can slap some reason into me, I feel like I'm going insane.

First of all, I'm 20 and my current boyfriend is my first relationship (I know, I know, late bloomer). Things are going really well but at the back of my mind there's always been horrible thoughts bubbling about how I'm so much more sexually inexperienced than he is (he hasn't had that many, but more than zero!), and because he's the first person I've done regular sexual stuff with, I'm rubbish and don't know what I'm doing. I've read various tips and advice and I think I'm slowly improving...I told him frankly what I felt and he couldn't have been more reassuring and lovely, he told me I don't understand how much he cares about me and that it's a good thing I'm inexperienced as that means I'm not a whore.

However, the other day I was on facebook and came across his ex's and she is STUNNING, beautiful face, has bigger boobs than me, is an Ann Summer's rep AND this is the worst thing...she has a double tongue piercing!! This reinforces my insecurities tenfold because I know girls only get tongue piercings to give better blowjobs and blowjobs are my main insecurity because I've always felt hopeless at them So now I keep imagining how she was so much better at them than me and the many many orgasms he must have had from them, and it makes me want to cry. I feel so inadequate.

(Additional info: He told me he's been cheated on twice and I'm sure she was one of them, he only dated her for a few months).

I just need someone else's perspective on this. I know I'm being incredibly insecure and it's a massive turn-off, that's why I could never tell him all this. She just keeps haunting me in my mind.