To be honest, LDRs are hardest at the best of times, but if your heart isn't in it, then it's going to be nearly impossible. Have you ever spoken to your boyfriend about the way you feel? Just because someone is perfect for you on paper, doesn't mean they will be in real life, and equally just because someone used to be perfect for you, doesn't mean they will be forever. He sounds like he has treated you really well, so I can completely understand not wanting to hurt him, but stringing him along is only going to hurt him more in the long run. From your post it's not clear whether you want to be with him or not, and I'm assuming it's not clear in your own mind either. It's certainly not horrible to say you can't imagine never having that "first relationship" feeling either, you are still very young and you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself and on your relationship. I would suggest talking to your boyfriend, although I would pick your words carefully. You might just need some time to yourself to clear your head, but whether he'd be willing to wait while you figure things out, you'll have to find out. All the best.