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I have no idea what to do about my boyfriend

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I actually got a letter back from "Deidre" once, so it's not all "Performance issues...how to be good in bed" premium rate phone calls etc....shame she never really answered my yhoughquestion lol

Yip it just seems every time I read her problem page I get the impression that she doesn't really give them advice, but either forwards them to websites like RELATE, a premium phone call for advice, or if she's feeling generous, a free leaflet on relationship troubles, domestic violence etc.

Still read it though :tongue:

Reply 21

charli_dc1990

sounds like jelously. i guess he's in a job that isnt fun and he isnt enjoying it like he enjoyed uni and like youre enjoying it now. im not suggesting he's been unfaithful but he has experienced uni before and perhaps he's sensitive because he knows what goes on and he's worried something will go on with you. people tend to get nasty and controlling when they feel out of control which clearly he does. he feels threatened by your success at uni socially (perhaps) and as he has few friends is afraid youll leave him out. he's scared of losing you i assume, espec. as he's good to you when he's with you and know's what youre doing.
for the sake of your relationship, speak to him. you need to know that you explored the relevent avenues before making a decision about what course to take. if you start to become rlly miserable and the cons outweight the pros and youve discussed it and he's not changed then you need to start thinking about whether you want to be in the relationship. you may love him but sadly, that's not always enough and you deserve to enjoy uni and enjoy being in a relationship.

Reply 22

Berbalicious

Original post by DanielleT192

Do you though?

Or do you just look at the pictures in the photo casebook? :tongue:

Reply 23

DanielleT192

Original post by Berbalicious

Do you though?

Or do you just look at the pictures in the photo casebook? :tongue:

Nah because otherwise where would my criticism come from haha? I think you read, or perhaps look at that page too often lol.

Reply 24

Berbalicious

Original post by DanielleT192

Nah because otherwise where would my criticism come from haha? I think you read, or perhaps look at that page too often lol.

Of course, some of the models they use are fiiiit. Makes me wish I had been a low rent actor/model so I could star alongside them :wink:

Reply 25

DanielleT192

Original post by Berbalicious

Of course, some of the models they use are fiiiit. Makes me wish I had been a low rent actor/model so I could star alongside them :wink:

Haha a sly grin when positioned around stunning girls for the photoshoot. I know your plan ;p

Reply 26

Anonymous #1

Cheers for all of the advice everyone :smile:

my boyfriend and I had a chat last night and I told him how I was feeling, and now today he said he'll try stop having a problem with my guy mate, be happier for me when I go out, and stop being silly with other stuff. Thanks again!

Reply 27

DanielleT192

Original post by Anonymous

Cheers for all of the advice everyone :smile:

Something as trivial as that could put a gap between someone's relationship. Hope things are going well for you now though :smile:

Reply 28

LittleRed

Original post by Anonymous

Cheers for all of the advice everyone :smile:

Glad about this, I don't think anything your boyfriend is doing is out of malice, I think he's just feeling kind of lonely because he no longer has that social life you now do, and work pressures can also be difficult, especially when you're in a place where you no longer have many friends. I think you did the right thing in encouraging to do stuff that will get him to socialise with new people more, you sound like you've got your head screwed on and make a great partner!

I just want to say, please ignore these people who are saying "he definitely cheated on you at uni". Of course, it is a possibility but to me it doesn't sound like he has done, and you don't seem to be taking notice of the comments which is good :smile:

I think your boyfriend probably feels a bit like I do: thinking that their partner is so wonderful, that you surely can't be enough to keep them happy and that they could do better/must want to! That doesn't have to be an issue if you know how to control it, as your boyfriend seems to be beginning to learn how to do atm. It doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't trust you either, it can just be like a moment's panic/jealousy that that person is probably more exciting that you, especially with them being new in your life. Being worried about a partner straying does not mean you have strayed yourself - I know I would NEVER in a million years cheat on my boyfriend! & who's to be sure it's straying that he's worried about? Personally, I think he's just scared of getting left behind, with all this exciting change and learning about yourself, as you do at university, he is probably worrying that you will come out thinking he's not something you want in your life anymore, especially if he's so attached to you. He knows you love him, I'm sure, since you make so much effort to see him, so don't worry too much :smile:

My boyfriend gets lots of female attention, whereas I have never been especially popular with the males, and I totally trust him, don't believe that he will cheat, but get this kind of guilty feeling that I am almost a letdown. Perhaps your boyfriend feels the same, especially with you having exciting changes in your life atm, he is probably scared of getting left behind. I think reassurance to him, perhaps without making it really obvious that that's what you're doing, as then he might feel a bit silly, will be a miracle cure. Just be sure to casually slip in that he's the only one for you and give him lots of compliments and I think he will naturally become less paranoid. Good luck with your relationship and university :smile:

(edited 12 years ago)