I&#x27;m a virgin - not sure what he expects right now

There is no such thing as how long to "wait." You know when you are ready. Don't rush into anything for him.

Oh he is probably thinking of sex anyway so don't let that bother you!

Reply 2

member520746

He probably expects you to perform some kind of circus trick in exchange for your continued chastity. Juggling is always a popular one.

Reply 3

Chr0n

14

If he really is a player, making him wait a bit is a good way to see whter he is really into you or not.

Reply 4

I'm sure he is thinking of doing all manner of disgraceful things with you. If not there's probably something wrong with him.

But don't let that put you off in the slightest. If he invites you back to his, you can say "yes but I'm not ready to sleep with you" and he should be absolutely fine with that.

What you shouldn't do is wait until you're in bed and he's all worked up before telling him you're not ready.

Whether you mention the virgin bit is up to you.

Reply 5

Original post by Chr0n

If he really is a player, making him wait a bit is a good way to see whter he is really into you or not.

Idiotic comment. Playing childish games only ever ends in disaster.

Reply 6

Gavzzz

If you know you are not ready to have sex and you have heard he is a bit of a player why on earth are you going out with him OP? What do you expect? He was probably thinking about sex before you two even spoke to each other!

Good luck in taming the beast though :wink:

Reply 7

Eveiebaby

OP I would ask you. DO you really want to be pursuing someone who is a known player. Let me tell you this: It is more trouble than it's worth. Best to go for the guys who are a little shyer and gentlemanly despite the excitement you might feel for a 'bad boy'

Reply 8

Hannah550

OP

Original post by Gavzzz

If you know you are not ready to have sex and you have heard he is a bit of a player why on earth are you going out with him OP? What do you expect? He was probably thinking about sex before you two even spoke to each other!

Good luck in taming the beast though :wink:

I'm going out with him because I want to make my mind up about him for myself and not just listen to others.
Thanks haha

Reply 9

Arekkusu

16

Original post by Hannah550

Hey,

I have been out with this guy I know from work twice now and I'm meeting him for a few drinks tonight. So far we have just held hands and kissed and atm that's all I'm ready for. I don't know what he expects from me and I haven't told him I'm a virgin. I'm not his girlfriend yet and I have heard that he is a bit of a player so don't want to get hurt. I only started talking to him properly on Monday and was wondering if I do decide to go out with him, how long I should make him wait? Do you think he is thinking about sex already?

Thanks :colondollar:

If he's a genuine player then he will probably be gracious about your hesitance. Just don't expect him to be exclusive to you, that's fair, right?

Reply 10

Gavzzz

Original post by Hannah550

I'm going out with him because I want to make my mind up about him for myself and not just listen to others.
Thanks haha

Just remember that a lot of guys will say literally anything they think you want to hear in order to get into your pants.

Reply 11

Chr0n

14

Original post by py0alb

Idiotic comment. Playing childish games only ever ends in disaster.

No games. If she is not ready to have sex she should absolutely not do anything she does not want to. I just wanted to show, that it is'nt all bad to let him wait a bit. If he really likes her, he will wait until she is ready, if he is a player and only wants sex, he won't.

Reply 12

Dude Where's My Username

15

He probably expects not to have to try as hard in bed to impress you. Less pressure all round. Just don't think about it

Reply 13

Hannah550

OP

Original post by Chr0n

No games. If she is not ready to have sex she should absolutely not do anything she does not want to. I just wanted to show, that it is'nt all bad to let him wait a bit. If he really likes her, he will wait until she is ready, if he is a player and only wants sex, he won't.

Thanks, that's what I am thinking too. We'll see :smile:

Reply 14

Original post by Chr0n

No games. If she is not ready to have sex she should absolutely not do anything she does not want to. I just wanted to show, that it is'nt all bad to let him wait a bit. If he really likes her, he will wait until she is ready, if he is a player and only wants sex, he won't.

Have you ever seen the film Two can Play that Game? Its about a happy couple whose relationship is irrevocably ruined because they keep listening to the "wisdom" of their friends, who say things like "you gotta make her jealous", "you gotta play hard to get" and other such *******s.

Well, you remind me of the friend.

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 15

Doyle&TheFourFathers

11

tell him you dont know what you expect from him then ask him what he wants from you. after your night out with him.

Reply 16

steve collins

9

Original post by Hannah550

I'm going out with him because I want to make my mind up about him for myself and not just listen to others.
Thanks haha

Tbh, you seem to have the right idea, 90% of the people posting in threads like yours will be women who have been hurt by KNOWN 'players', something which is inevitably 10% their own fault for getting into it recklessly.
Basically tell him where you stand early on, make sure he's aware of your position, and then progress at your own pace.
The cliché of saying 'make him wait, if he likes you he'll wait' doesn't mean "deliberately take it slow FOR THE SAKE OF testing him. It means take things at your own pace, and don't let him pressure you.
they're not the same thing. but tbh, you sound fairly sensible.

If it goes badly, PM me and i'll destroy his innocence ;D :cannon:

good luck xD

Reply 17

mother_eve3088

Original post by Hannah550

Hey,

I have been out with this guy I know from work twice now and I'm meeting him for a few drinks tonight. So far we have just held hands and kissed and atm that's all I'm ready for. I don't know what he expects from me and I haven't told him I'm a virgin. I'm not his girlfriend yet and I have heard that he is a bit of a player so don't want to get hurt. I only started talking to him properly on Monday and was wondering if I do decide to go out with him, how long I should make him wait? Do you think he is thinking about sex already?

Thanks :colondollar:

Just whenever you feel ready for it, don't let him push you.

He definitely is thinking about sex already, there's very very little doubt about it. But just go with the flow (hehe :colone:

) and let things go naturally.

Reply 18

Chr0n

14

Original post by py0alb

Have you ever seen the film Two can Play that Game? Its about a happy couple whose relationship is irrevocably ruined because they keep listening to the "wisdom" of their friends, who say things like "you gotta make her jealous", "you gotta play hard to get" and other such *******s.

Well, you remind me of the friend.

You still don't seem to grasp it, so i'll try to point it out again.
I do NOT advice for playing games. No one should play games in love matters.

All I AM advicing is this:
If she is not yet ready to have sex with him, she should not do anything she does not want to do.

Reply 19