Shy people did you go through some kind of abuse or bullying
Anon because I know people on here
I always wondered why shy people are shy if it's from some kind of bullying or abuse.
I'm very shy and introverted until you get to know me or I drink alcohol I'm more myself.
I grew up in a domestic violent home and got bullied through growing up which knocked my confidence and made me keep myself to myself. I have friends and talk to people but I can never trust them I always think that eventually they'll just back stab me or become 2faced or worse hurt me so they have to gain my trust before I let them in.
I always find it easier to trust people that have gone through something similar to me because they understand.
I always look at someone who's shy and wonder if they have gone though something similar to me that's why they are like that.
Not saying confident people haven't gone through things like that but it's always minor things like a bf broke up with them or didn't call them back. Or their parents didn't buy them fuel for their car.
Trolls don't come here to be rude it's just childish
I always wondered why shy people are shy if it's from some kind of bullying or abuse.
I'm very shy and introverted until you get to know me or I drink alcohol I'm more myself.
I grew up in a domestic violent home and got bullied through growing up which knocked my confidence and made me keep myself to myself. I have friends and talk to people but I can never trust them I always think that eventually they'll just back stab me or become 2faced or worse hurt me so they have to gain my trust before I let them in.
I always find it easier to trust people that have gone through something similar to me because they understand.
I always look at someone who's shy and wonder if they have gone though something similar to me that's why they are like that.
Not saying confident people haven't gone through things like that but it's always minor things like a bf broke up with them or didn't call them back. Or their parents didn't buy them fuel for their car.
Trolls don't come here to be rude it's just childish
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Original post by Anonymous
Anon because I know people on here
I always wondered why shy people are shy if it's from some kind of bullying or abuse.
I'm very shy and introverted until you get to know me or I drink alcohol I'm more myself.
I grew up in a domestic violent home and got bullied through growing up which knocked my confidence and made me keep myself to myself. I have friends and talk to people but I can never trust them I always think that eventually they'll just back stab me or become 2faced or worse hurt me so they have to gain my trust before I let them in.
I always find it easier to trust people that have gone through something similar to me because they understand.
I always look at someone who's shy and wonder if they have gone though something similar to me that's why they are like that.
Not saying confident people haven't gone through things like that but it's always minor things like a bf broke up with them or didn't call them back. Or their parents didn't buy them fuel for their car.
Trolls don't come here to be rude it's just childish
I always wondered why shy people are shy if it's from some kind of bullying or abuse.
I'm very shy and introverted until you get to know me or I drink alcohol I'm more myself.
I grew up in a domestic violent home and got bullied through growing up which knocked my confidence and made me keep myself to myself. I have friends and talk to people but I can never trust them I always think that eventually they'll just back stab me or become 2faced or worse hurt me so they have to gain my trust before I let them in.
I always find it easier to trust people that have gone through something similar to me because they understand.
I always look at someone who's shy and wonder if they have gone though something similar to me that's why they are like that.
Not saying confident people haven't gone through things like that but it's always minor things like a bf broke up with them or didn't call them back. Or their parents didn't buy them fuel for their car.
Trolls don't come here to be rude it's just childish
im the same as you i suppose in the sense that i trust very few people and am often very quiet and shy in groups of people that i am not 100% comfortable with, until i get drunk that is lol
i wouldn't say i was abused as i child or bullied but i was in a family that had a domestic abuse aspect to it
i think i use to take my anger out in primary school and when i went to secondary i think i turned into a bit of a class clown as this was the only way i could feel accepted into a group but i was still really shy
i am still shy now but try my best not to let it control my life
I had a wonderful childhood, I'm just extremely quiet around people I do not know. Some people are just like that.
I was shy initially, which got me bullied in high school because I didn't particpate in the daily "Who Can Be the Most Obnoxious Prick" contests. For some reason, my quietness made me a target.
It definitely knocked my confidence; I find meeting new people difficult because I'm constantly aware of what I'm saying or doing and usually think I'm being a dork in some way. Part of it is my personality, though - I'm generally quiet unless I'm among people I know quite well, it's not always due to shyness. I just prefer not to say random comments or statements for the sake of saying something, although I've not met many people my age with a similar preference.
It definitely knocked my confidence; I find meeting new people difficult because I'm constantly aware of what I'm saying or doing and usually think I'm being a dork in some way. Part of it is my personality, though - I'm generally quiet unless I'm among people I know quite well, it's not always due to shyness. I just prefer not to say random comments or statements for the sake of saying something, although I've not met many people my age with a similar preference.
I was bullied because I was shy and awkward, not the other way round. And I (and they) grew out of it eventually. I'm still quiet in a social situation if I don't know people, but my job involves having sometimes quite graphic conversations with strangers many times a day, and that no longer scares me at all.
i also had a domestic violent childhood amongst some other problems i do not wish to elaborate on. im really introverted but not at all shy. i suppose my introversion is a subject of bullying and abuse, even though i didnt really get bullied through highschool or anything. the only problem i had was getting along with my flatmates during first year because i didnt enjoy speaking with them or going out with them. they thought of me as boring and bullied me slightly, such as leaving the kitchen and toilets a mess until i couldnt stand it and had to clean it up. also they often banged on my door and tried to pick fights with me. it wasnt the best experience but i guess it was just more my flatmates being ***** than anything else.
my confidence is just fine, though. and i speak with people fine. i just dont feel like or dont like talking with people all that much. i also find that i get along with people who have gone through the same thing as me, or at least something similar.
my confidence is just fine, though. and i speak with people fine. i just dont feel like or dont like talking with people all that much. i also find that i get along with people who have gone through the same thing as me, or at least something similar.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm very shy and introverted until you get to know me or I drink alcohol I'm more myself
I'm exactly like that.
I was bullied an awful lot in school, but I can't really remember if I was shy and quiet before then, or if me being like that is a result of the bullying.
I was born shy. It kind of defines me. As a baby/toddler I would not let go of my mums hand or warm up to anyone other then my immediate family. Like other people have said its my shyness that has got me bullied and led to all the other problems in my life rather than the other way round. In a way I wish I could say I became shy and anxious due to a rough life that way at least I would have a reason for such a horrible trait.
I think it goes right back to the roots, you probably wouldn't have got bullied if you were a more assertive child in the first place.
I think most problems stem from parental issues and people not loving themselves because their parents did not love them properly. Of course, some people may just be shy, even if they had a wonderful upbringing. Just like some people who had a crappy upbringing might now very confident etc.
I think most problems stem from parental issues and people not loving themselves because their parents did not love them properly. Of course, some people may just be shy, even if they had a wonderful upbringing. Just like some people who had a crappy upbringing might now very confident etc.
Me too.
I am a little shy, probably not noticeable anymore, and introverted. However, like a good old introvert I 'fake' a lot my behaviour. It's like putting on a show. I am my normal self with only a few people. It's like living a double life almost but that's how it's always been.
I grew up around lots of domestic violence and psychological abuse. I remember being as young as 4 and being told "you're gonna mount to nothing, you worthless piece of...". At that age, what you are told is part of your universe; everything around you IS your universe so you believe it. And it has it's effects if you are constantly told it every day. I think things like this most certainly ruin your confidence and can lead to shyness and low self-esteem. Shyness of the modest sort, is good however.
To be honest, I am much older now (28), but I don't think you ever get over a bad upbringing or abuse. You learn to manage it and ultimately live with it. Hence why we should never be like this with out children. It really can ruin you for life.
I am a little shy, probably not noticeable anymore, and introverted. However, like a good old introvert I 'fake' a lot my behaviour. It's like putting on a show. I am my normal self with only a few people. It's like living a double life almost but that's how it's always been.
I grew up around lots of domestic violence and psychological abuse. I remember being as young as 4 and being told "you're gonna mount to nothing, you worthless piece of...". At that age, what you are told is part of your universe; everything around you IS your universe so you believe it. And it has it's effects if you are constantly told it every day. I think things like this most certainly ruin your confidence and can lead to shyness and low self-esteem. Shyness of the modest sort, is good however.
To be honest, I am much older now (28), but I don't think you ever get over a bad upbringing or abuse. You learn to manage it and ultimately live with it. Hence why we should never be like this with out children. It really can ruin you for life.
Also do you think it has affected relationships or find it hard to get in a relationship?
I was bullied because I was shy and unconfident - I was shy and unconfident because of home and because I'm dyspraxic, plus it's just my personality.
It does affect relationships - I've never had one because I don't trust lads very well!
Not abuse per se, just a very unstable and insecure environment.
It does affect relationships - I've never had one because I don't trust lads very well!
Not abuse per se, just a very unstable and insecure environment.
(edited 13 years ago)
Well I was teased a bit at secondary school, but to be honest I was really shy and introverted before that. I don't have any siblings and my parents have a really dysfunctional relationship, so I think those are the factcors that influenced my personality and made me a bit shy.
And yeah, I think it is generally harder for shy/introverted people to make and keep relationships that it is for outgoing/confident people.
And yeah, I think it is generally harder for shy/introverted people to make and keep relationships that it is for outgoing/confident people.
I'm painfully shy/introverted though not because of bullying or anything, I guess that's just who I am 
which can be more than a little ****ty in any sort of social occasion. Ahh well.
which can be more than a little ****ty in any sort of social occasion. Ahh well.I got bullied quite a lot in primary school but I just responded the opposite way, became more extroverted as a defense mechanism so I wouldn't be a target any more.
To be honest, I class myself as a pretty shy person, but I don't recall ever being bullied. (I'm not trying to brag here) It does make me wonder though, because I have always been pretty popular, and alcohol doesn't make me any louder in particular.
As someone else on the thread has said, I did on occasions be the class clown, and left school with pretty bad grades because of it. No domestic violence in my house either...I guess I have just been lucky.
As someone else on the thread has said, I did on occasions be the class clown, and left school with pretty bad grades because of it. No domestic violence in my house either...I guess I have just been lucky.
Original post by Helenia
I was bullied because I was shy and awkward, not the other way round. And I (and they) grew out of it eventually. I'm still quiet in a social situation if I don't know people, but my job involves having sometimes quite graphic conversations with strangers many times a day, and that no longer scares me at all.
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