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Bisexual guy with regrets :-(

I never thought I'd be asking a question like this on the internet, but here goes anyway.

I'm a 22 year old male. I've always known that I was attracted to men, but it was never something that I'd acted upon; mostly because of my Christian upbringing. I wouldn't say that I'm 100% gay because I've been with women in the past and have enjoyed it, and I am turned on by women. I'd say on a scale that I'd be 60% gay and 40% straight.

I've always tried to blot out the gay part of my life because up until recently because it was not something with which I was comfortable. I'm now regretting this however as I went through both sixth form and university and never acted upon the chances that I had to 'experiment' with a guy. I'm now living back at home and the social circles that I had at university are non-existent; I seem to live for my job (which I do admittedly enjoy) and coming home to watch Waterloo Road.

What are my options to meet people of a similar position in my area? I know that it's not going to be easy but I just want to act upon these feelings so that I've got it out of my system. It's never been a big part of my life, but lately the feelings of regret for not doing anything whilst I was at university have started to become more pronounced.
Reply 1
She's a naughty girl with a bad habit, bad habit for drugs!!!:biggrin:
Reply 2
Gay bars and club nights?

The Grindr app if you've got an iPhone?
Reply 3
Find someone you'd like to experiment with in the street, drug them, tie them up in your room, offer them a cup of tea before you FREAKISHLY RAVAGE THEM ANALLY and see how it makes you feel.

Simples.
Reply 4
Original post by Lemozo
I never thought I'd be asking a question like this on the internet, but here goes anyway.

I'm a 22 year old male. I've always known that I was attracted to men, but it was never something that I'd acted upon; mostly because of my Christian upbringing. I wouldn't say that I'm 100% gay because I've been with women in the past and have enjoyed it, and I am turned on by women. I'd say on a scale that I'd be 60% gay and 40% straight.

I've always tried to blot out the gay part of my life because up until recently because it was not something with which I was comfortable. I'm now regretting this however as I went through both sixth form and university and never acted upon the chances that I had to 'experiment' with a guy. I'm now living back at home and the social circles that I had at university are non-existent; I seem to live for my job (which I do admittedly enjoy) and coming home to watch Waterloo Road.

What are my options to meet people of a similar position in my area? I know that it's not going to be easy but I just want to act upon these feelings so that I've got it out of my system. It's never been a big part of my life, but lately the feelings of regret for not doing anything whilst I was at university have started to become more pronounced.


I'd say more like 95% gay 5% straight
What is this, I don't even
Are you me? :lolwut:

This is almost exactly the same as me, except I'd say I'm 90% straight and 10%...not. I can;t imagine myself actually doing anything sexual with a guy, though.
Original post by samconly
She's a naughty girl with a bad habit, bad habit for drugs!!!:biggrin:


Reply 8
Original post by Anonymous
This is almost exactly the same as me, except I'd say I'm 90% straight and 10%...not


At least I know that I'm not the only one.
go on websites like grindr? or something. they do help :smile:
Reply 10
That Grindr app was the most depressing thing I've ever seen. I don't stand a chance if the calibre of person on there represents my local area.
Reply 11
Regarding the Grindr app, to say I felt let down though is perhaps the biggest understatement of the century. The men in my local area looked like complete sleazebags. I kept getting rude messages and someone was asking me to give him a growl. It just seemed like none of the people on there were remotely of the calibre of person in which I would be interested. I'd only want to go with someone really good looking because they'd have to be worth it for all of the homophobia that I'd get from people I know, but finding a good looking/not rubbish person on Grindr is like asking for a typhoon in the Sahara.
Original post by Lemozo
Regarding the Grindr app, to say I felt let down though is perhaps the biggest understatement of the century. The men in my local area looked like complete sleazebags. I kept getting rude messages and someone was asking me to give him a growl. It just seemed like none of the people on there were remotely of the calibre of person in which I would be interested. I'd only want to go with someone really good looking because they'd have to be worth it for all of the homophobia that I'd get from people I know, but finding a good looking/not rubbish person on Grindr is like asking for a typhoon in the Sahara.


It is a problem. I was at school with this guy for a long time in secret (came out eventually after it ended), and he was very good looking and not remotely camp. Ordinary guy, maybe liked his hair, clothes and self a bit much. But not at all 'queen' like.

Now we're not together and i'm at uni. I find it hard to think i'll find someone like that again. Small % are gay, and even smaller are going to be like me. But the gay culture is so sleazy and camped up that A) i find it pretty demoralizing and degrading going down an area filled with ultracamps, guys twice my age (which just depresses me, makes me think i'll end up like that!) and B) i'd be embarrassed to go with my mates (who if they were girls would be trying to set me up and if guys would probably feel very uncomfortable). Grindr isn't going to attract the catches! Dunno where they are tbh.

As for the homophobia, how good looking they were won't matter. Although one mate said to me "tbf i'm not gay but you've done well there", he was fine with it anyway. I doubt it'll be much consolation if they're bigots that he's at least good looking.
Reply 13
I've deleted it off my phone now.
Reply 14
Original post by Anonymous
It is a problem. I was at school with this guy for a long time in secret (came out eventually after it ended), and he was very good looking and not remotely camp. Ordinary guy, maybe liked his hair, clothes and self a bit much. But not at all 'queen' like.

Now we're not together and i'm at uni. I find it hard to think i'll find someone like that again. Small % are gay, and even smaller are going to be like me. But the gay culture is so sleazy and camped up that A) i find it pretty demoralizing and degrading going down an area filled with ultracamps, guys twice my age (which just depresses me, makes me think i'll end up like that!) and B) i'd be embarrassed to go with my mates (who if they were girls would be trying to set me up and if guys would probably feel very uncomfortable). Grindr isn't going to attract the catches! Dunno where they are tbh.

As for the homophobia, how good looking they were won't matter. Although one mate said to me "tbf i'm not gay but you've done well there", he was fine with it anyway. I doubt it'll be much consolation if they're bigots that he's at least good looking.


I agree so much with what you say about the gay culture. The guys on Grindr were so sleazy it was just depressing. It just made me think, please don't let me end up like that!

Gay clubs aren't really my thing either, so I keep thinking it's just a case of grinning and bearing my situation. :frown:

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