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Is it unfair to tell your boyfriend you'll break up with him if he goes to Amsterdam?

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I get what you mean but if you're planning on breaking up with him just for going then you should really just end it anyways. The only way you're going to come out of this situation looking good is if he actually does cheat on you.
I agree with what someone else has said, if he was a cheater he would have done it by now. Book a holiday with a bunch of other single girls so he knows what it's like.

Reply 21

youfatbastard

Amazing holiday and getting rid of a horrific girlfriend... two birds in one stone

Reply 22

meowmeowmutiny

Turns out not all guys are incapable of walking past a hooker without immediately losing all self-respect and dignity.

Reply 23

silverbolt

yes its highly unfair, why not simply explain to him that you are uncomfortable (and untrusting) and ask him not to spend his entire time in the red light district, Amsterdam has much to offer not just drugs and strippers.

Reply 24

EssexDan86

I'm going next month and my girlfriend trusts me - I have no intention of sleeping with any prossies.

Hardly anyone who goes to Amsterdam ACTUALLY sleeps with the hookers. It's dirty and they're a rip off - it's mainly the dirty old men that are into it as they can't get action anywhere else. Unless you've actually seen/heard evidence he plans to do it, there's no reason to suspect he will.

Reply 25

FilthyYouth

I've been to Amsterdam whilst having a girlfriend and did not feel the need to cheat or get a prostitute lol. Let him have some fun you bore.

Reply 26

Drunk Punx

Original post by reisen

.... in the red light district

What's your point?

So he wants to go experience the RLD in 'dam, big deal. Just because he's venturing into there it doesn't mean that he's going to **** the brains out of every prostitute he sees before toddling off for several lap dances.
He might just be going there to see what it's like, it doesn't mean he'll actually be partaking in any of the activities which go on down there.

Telling his girlfriend was a pretty dick move to be honest; honesty in a relationship is one thing, but either OP has the painters in which is why she's over-reacting, or she's like this normally and he should've seen it coming. Either way, the "trust" issue in the relationship is obviously something that needs to be resolved, and I'd suggest sooner as opposed to later.

Reply 27

BlackVenom321

that's like breaking up with him for no reason, especially if he doesn't do anything wrong there. his friend are going so let him go. Imagine breaking up with him only to find that all he did there was smoke and drink.

Reply 28

Anonymous #2

my boyfriend went to amsterdam
and brought me home sex toys

Reply 29

freakingout!

Original post by reisen

Hmmm people say "if you don't trust him you shouldn't be together" but he really doesn't need to deliberately put temptation in his path. he'll be there drinking with his friends who will be going to strip clubs and probably brothels - not a good situation and I wouldn't be happy with it. I say if he doesn't understand why you're upset and respect your feelings then he's a bit of a dick-if he'd rather go and have some random fun in Amsterdam than have you.

I've been there tons of times, never ****ed a ho...men can control themselves you know....

if he cannot control himself, then he's a douche anyway, and you're better off not being with him.

The way you say "doesn't need to deliberately put temptation in his path" makes it seem as if all men can only think with their d!cks, which is not true.... if you think this, then I feel sorry for you for the men you ave had to endure darlin...

Like I said, a good gf, IMO. is one that isn;t so insecure she stops him from havin fun with the lads, and a good bf, is one that doesn't pay for sex when the opportunity arises....if a boy and girl fail either one of these tests, then god help them, because they are douch bags...

Reply 30

Journalistic

Original post by Anonymous

I'm just trying to work out if he's being a cow or not.

Basically, he wants to go to Amsterdam with his guy mates, get stoned and stay in the red light district.

I am not comfortable with this at all, so I have offered the ultimatum of if he goes, that's it. Am I being unreasonable.

If so, why?

No, you're being entirely reasonable.

He deserves to be free of you.

Poor boy.

Reply 31

DeepStar

Unless he is going there with the intention to sleep around then you have the right to be angry with him. But, if he is going just for the holiday and break with the lads then indeed, you're being unfair.

You should trust him regardless of this holiday. Giving him 2 strict options probably wasn't wise either because you could have just talked to him about your concerns over him going rather than making it seem it was either you or the chance to see what with the Big Dam is all about...

Reply 32

username402722

I expect you are being fair, especially in telling him beforehand.

Reply 33

reisen

Original post by freakingout!

Darlin? I don't think it makes it seem like men can only think with their dicks. As someone else said it's like the Vegas of europe, people can get swept along and behave as they wouldn't at home. I'm not saying he will cheat, I have no idea but I doubt the OP would ever find out if he did.

Reply 34

RK92

just tell him that youre planning on going on some slutty sounding holiday (shagaluf, maybe) with your friends to do drugs, get smashed and go to clubs. if he appears at all uneasy, then you can issue the ultimatum. not before.

Reply 35

superwolf

My parents don't and hopefully never will know that I've been to Amsterdam. :mmm:

OP you really need to relax. An 'if you sleep with a prostitute I'll leave you' ultimatum is fair, but saying you'll dump him if he goes to a particular city? Not cool.

Reply 36

trig

The red light district isn't even THAT seedy. It's much smaller than I imagined. Most of it is based around one street. Some sex shops, some ladies pouting in windows whilst standing in their underwear, nothing stunning.
I was staying very close to the area, most men (and women) I saw just went out to look at the girls not to sleep with them, and that even includes the numerous british 'lads' on a stag do.
Yes some of the girls are pretty, (and some are.... very unusual :tongue:

), but to be honest espeically when you weigh in the factor of paying for it/risking her not being clean, I think it's just as likely if he was going to cheat that he would do it at home. I've seen pretty-enough girls on nights out not wearing too much more than the 'dam girls, and they threw themselves at lads even more (and obviously for free too..).

However he might go to a 'banana show'. I'm female, and well... even I was tempted. Sound's hilarious :biggrin: