The Student Room Group

Lets Be Friends. Err Lets not...

Basically my ex dumped me 4/5 months ago for another girl. We had had a pretty long intense relationship but for the last 6months of it everything just wasn't working... I was in love with him still but he was a bit negative about me.

So fast forward to now, he is still with other girl, I see them together around the 6th form area all over one another. We hadn't talked really since the split and I really thought I was over him, until the other day when he decided he wanted to meet up for a chat to "catch up on things", it was awkward but we just talked about work and me building on my confidence and being happyer now (he was saying this..) and afterwards when he went of i was fine for a couple of minutes then i just burst into tears. I dunno why but talking to him made me feel so crap and brought all my feelings back that i thought didn't exist anymore.

So we haven't spoken really since then (he didn't see me cry or anything) but the other day he text me again asking how was I and if i fancied a chat that day. I said no not really and I slightly exaggerated the fact i had choir during the time he was free so it wasn't like I was completely ignoring him.

Basically he wants to be friends,(my friends have said this means he wants me back, but i doubt it, him and his gf seem pritty close and happy) i still care about him but if I talk to him everything comes back and i just feel like complete **** and I don't really think his gf would appreciate us talking... but as I have to at least be near him 4 times a week in sociology and we have a few mutual friends, to just plain out say I don't want to talk to you, just leave me alone and everything will be fine might be a bit much.
What to do?

:s-smilie:
Don't be friends with him if you don't want to. There's no reason to be, he's the 1 who dumped you, for another girl nonetheless. If I was you I'd have only 2 words for him....
Reply 2
Oh to be young again.
Reply 3
I think because he has moved on, he assumes you're totally fine with everything as well. Since you're going to be around him a lot, you may as well be civil but there's no particular reason you need to be hanging out with each other or be pals. Your feelings are going to go away in time, all you can do is be patient.

Also, you're right to not believe your friends, I doubt he'll want to try things again, he's just in a better place now so he feels like he can talk to you again.
Reply 4
Original post by *Dreaming*
Don't be friends with him if you don't want to. There's no reason to be, he's the 1 who dumped you, for another girl nonetheless. If I was you I'd have only 2 words for him....


I just don't want conflict.

Original post by Sorani
I think because he has moved on, he assumes you're totally fine with everything as well. Since you're going to be around him a lot, you may as well be civil but there's no particular reason you need to be hanging out with each other or be pals. Your feelings are going to go away in time, all you can do is be patient.


It's just difficult, we completely blank each other in corridors/when he is with his gf but he then trys to send me friendly texts and I want to tell him piss off but i can't cos we still have to work together in class every now and again and i do still care about him:frown:

Original post by Sorani
Also, you're right to not believe your friends, I doubt he'll want to try things again, he's just in a better place now so he feels like he can talk to you again.


At a party we both went to after i left he sent me drunk texts saying he loved me still but he needed space and he still cares for me and he waned to get back together (he was pritty off his face as far as i knew), next day he just said to ignore it and sent me more friendly texts asking how i was and stuff. (hence why friends saying he wants me back) but I think you sound about right with how he has acted in general.
I just wish there was somthing i could do or say to sort everything out :s-smilie:

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