What is this? (Probably one for the girls)
I’ve seen a few posts around here about people struggling with their body image, so I hope someone has some insight into this.
I don’t know what is wrong with me, but I think I’ve got some kind of ‘reverse anorexia’
Over the last 7 months I’ve put on a lot of weight. About a stone, which isn’t loads, but it’s a large percentage of my bodyweight so comparatively it’s a lot.
Most of that weight has gone on my stomach, so now I have a protruding belly, and it’s making me extremely depressed about my image.
Some of it is justified, because I can’t actually fit into any of my jeans and trousers, and it’s visible through tight tops. Furthermore, I managed to stay the same weight throughout uni despite the standard drinking, takeaways and lack of sleep.
But some of it is me being irrational (or so I think). I literally feel disgusted with myself all the time, and the fact that I’m in bad shape is always on my mind. I hate getting undressed because I can feel my belly hanging out, and I always try and breathe in to suck it in lest I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I hate having showers for the same reason...because I am more aware of my body. I struggle to do what I’m supposed to be doing in yoga classes because I am too conscious of my belly and I feel like it’s always there. I can’t go into changing rooms to try on clothes because I don’t want to see my reflection.
At the same time, I keep obsessively analyzing every other girl to see if they’re carrying any weight (and feel immediately comforted if they are, but usually they aren’t).
This has also ruined my relationship with my boyfriend because I didn’t want to have sex because I didn’t feel comfortable about myself. I felt like he’d be repulsed with me, and I feel undesirable.
I tried talking about this with him, and a few of my other friends, but everyone thinks I’m being silly because I’m a size 8 (or was) so am technically quite petite. He thought that I didn’t want to have sex with him because I wasn’t attracted to him anymore, and was simply using an excuse ?
However, I am only 5 foot and my BMI is still 'normal', but if I put on another couple of pounds it will be close to 'overweight' . Some people have then said things like ‘oh, if you hadn’t mentioned you've put on weight then I might not have noticed’, which is a little upsetting because even though they’re trying to be nice, they clearly have noticed. Then some others have given banter responses like *roll eyes* yeah you’re FAT lol NOT.
So the solution might simply be to lose the weight. Except I’ve been trying since January, and it’s just not working.
Generally, I eat quite healthily because I cook everything from scratch, and eat lots of fresh fruit and veg.
The problem is I can’t stop comfort eating.
For example, I had a sizeable meal for dinner the other night, and then I ate an entire box of crunchy nut. A lot of the time, after dinner, I need to have something sweet, and if I can’t do anything until I do. I’ll be floundering and unproductive until I eat.
I constantly eat when I’m not hungry, and then feel really guilty about it. I usually stop and recognize that it isn’t a good idea to eat x,y and z but I do it anyway because I won’t be able to stop thinking about whatever food it is. At work I can get stressed and can easily go through a bag of sweets. I often eat my lunch at 10.30/11 because it relaxes me and makes me feel better.
For some reason, I have this massive inertia when it comes to exercise. I usually walk quite a lot everyday, but I know that’s not enough. I keep making grand plans, but it never seems to work out because ultimately I just I don’t have time, and there’s only so many things that I can do to accommodate time for exercise without having to sacrifice other things.
I really don’t know what to do. I’m fed up of feeling so disgusted with myself. It’s sad because I formerly had what I’d consider to be a very nice figure.
Has anyone ever been through a similar thing? I feel really stupid and alone at the moment? And I’m kind of speculating about underlying causes, but I don’t want to open a can of worms.
Should I see a doctor or try and speak to a councillor something?
Please help if you can.
I don’t know what is wrong with me, but I think I’ve got some kind of ‘reverse anorexia’
Over the last 7 months I’ve put on a lot of weight. About a stone, which isn’t loads, but it’s a large percentage of my bodyweight so comparatively it’s a lot.
Most of that weight has gone on my stomach, so now I have a protruding belly, and it’s making me extremely depressed about my image.
Some of it is justified, because I can’t actually fit into any of my jeans and trousers, and it’s visible through tight tops. Furthermore, I managed to stay the same weight throughout uni despite the standard drinking, takeaways and lack of sleep.
But some of it is me being irrational (or so I think). I literally feel disgusted with myself all the time, and the fact that I’m in bad shape is always on my mind. I hate getting undressed because I can feel my belly hanging out, and I always try and breathe in to suck it in lest I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I hate having showers for the same reason...because I am more aware of my body. I struggle to do what I’m supposed to be doing in yoga classes because I am too conscious of my belly and I feel like it’s always there. I can’t go into changing rooms to try on clothes because I don’t want to see my reflection.
At the same time, I keep obsessively analyzing every other girl to see if they’re carrying any weight (and feel immediately comforted if they are, but usually they aren’t).
This has also ruined my relationship with my boyfriend because I didn’t want to have sex because I didn’t feel comfortable about myself. I felt like he’d be repulsed with me, and I feel undesirable.
I tried talking about this with him, and a few of my other friends, but everyone thinks I’m being silly because I’m a size 8 (or was) so am technically quite petite. He thought that I didn’t want to have sex with him because I wasn’t attracted to him anymore, and was simply using an excuse ?
However, I am only 5 foot and my BMI is still 'normal', but if I put on another couple of pounds it will be close to 'overweight' . Some people have then said things like ‘oh, if you hadn’t mentioned you've put on weight then I might not have noticed’, which is a little upsetting because even though they’re trying to be nice, they clearly have noticed. Then some others have given banter responses like *roll eyes* yeah you’re FAT lol NOT.
So the solution might simply be to lose the weight. Except I’ve been trying since January, and it’s just not working.
Generally, I eat quite healthily because I cook everything from scratch, and eat lots of fresh fruit and veg.
The problem is I can’t stop comfort eating.
For example, I had a sizeable meal for dinner the other night, and then I ate an entire box of crunchy nut. A lot of the time, after dinner, I need to have something sweet, and if I can’t do anything until I do. I’ll be floundering and unproductive until I eat.
I constantly eat when I’m not hungry, and then feel really guilty about it. I usually stop and recognize that it isn’t a good idea to eat x,y and z but I do it anyway because I won’t be able to stop thinking about whatever food it is. At work I can get stressed and can easily go through a bag of sweets. I often eat my lunch at 10.30/11 because it relaxes me and makes me feel better.
For some reason, I have this massive inertia when it comes to exercise. I usually walk quite a lot everyday, but I know that’s not enough. I keep making grand plans, but it never seems to work out because ultimately I just I don’t have time, and there’s only so many things that I can do to accommodate time for exercise without having to sacrifice other things.
I really don’t know what to do. I’m fed up of feeling so disgusted with myself. It’s sad because I formerly had what I’d consider to be a very nice figure.
Has anyone ever been through a similar thing? I feel really stupid and alone at the moment? And I’m kind of speculating about underlying causes, but I don’t want to open a can of worms.
Should I see a doctor or try and speak to a councillor something?
Please help if you can.
Sorry, counsellor*.
This is making my life hellish, but I'm not suggesting that it's so awful that it needs to be taken to parliament.
This is making my life hellish, but I'm not suggesting that it's so awful that it needs to be taken to parliament.
Seriously TSR should have a maximum word count, these threads are getting ridiculously long, and they need a tl;dr.
It sounds like Binge Eating Disorder to me, search the NHS website.
I too struggle with this and am seeing a Binge Eating specialist counsellor.
I too struggle with this and am seeing a Binge Eating specialist counsellor.
i'm bad for comfort eating too, it's more a sign of boredom than anything else. You need an after tea activity to keep you busy, or have hot drinks straight away when you get fidgety hunger.
My gf and i are both terrible for snacking and this helped a bit for us.
I don't think your quite at the counsellor stage yet lol. maybe just changing a few habits will help
My gf and i are both terrible for snacking and this helped a bit for us.
I don't think your quite at the counsellor stage yet lol. maybe just changing a few habits will help
Your BF was right to feel that way. Your attitude was one of not wanting to share something with him - something he considered important in your relationship. Whether he liked your figure was for him to decide.
Have you tried deciding on a set of simple physical exercises you could try and force yourself to do every week after waking up or something like that? Then you could gradually increse the level of those exercises...
Have you tried deciding on a set of simple physical exercises you could try and force yourself to do every week after waking up or something like that? Then you could gradually increse the level of those exercises...
I have a few tips on staying off the sugar, if that will help?
I saw on a program that if when you feel a craving, you have a glass of water instead, it subsides the feeling.
I also got told by someone that when they crave something sweet, they have a glass of water and then brush their teeth, and that makes the feeling go away.
Myself, I went to sainsbury's yesterday, and spent 30 pounds on only healthy stuff. I got some frozen fruit, natural yoghurt, muesli, porridge oats, bananas, and honey.... all grains and fruit basically. Now, when I crave something sweet, I HAVE something sweet - except the sweet thing I have is actually really healthy for you! For example, earlier I had muesli with chopped almonds and bananas, pureed mango, and natural yoghurt, with a bit of honey. Another fave is warm porridge with bananas and honey. It really fills a hole and fulfills my craving, but is very good for me at the same time.
I saw on a program that if when you feel a craving, you have a glass of water instead, it subsides the feeling.
I also got told by someone that when they crave something sweet, they have a glass of water and then brush their teeth, and that makes the feeling go away.
Myself, I went to sainsbury's yesterday, and spent 30 pounds on only healthy stuff. I got some frozen fruit, natural yoghurt, muesli, porridge oats, bananas, and honey.... all grains and fruit basically. Now, when I crave something sweet, I HAVE something sweet - except the sweet thing I have is actually really healthy for you! For example, earlier I had muesli with chopped almonds and bananas, pureed mango, and natural yoghurt, with a bit of honey. Another fave is warm porridge with bananas and honey. It really fills a hole and fulfills my craving, but is very good for me at the same time.
I'd go see a doctor and talk about it with them, the doctor will know how to help you.
My sister is in Med School, final year, and she was talking about a therapy called Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (Spelt wrong probably)... but it adresses behaviour and breaks associations with things. So when you're upset you'll learn to do something other than eat. I don't know much about it but just ask the doctor when you're discussing your problem.
Oh and just ignore the stupid pricks on this thread that think they're funny, because they aren't.
My sister is in Med School, final year, and she was talking about a therapy called Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (Spelt wrong probably)... but it adresses behaviour and breaks associations with things. So when you're upset you'll learn to do something other than eat. I don't know much about it but just ask the doctor when you're discussing your problem.
Oh and just ignore the stupid pricks on this thread that think they're funny, because they aren't.
You got through uni without putting on weight? No ****! Most are lucky if they don't lose weight while at uni!
It may be your metabolism slowing down. It may be Binge Eating Disorder.
Either way, more exercise should help. It releases hormones that (in laymens terms) make people feel better about themselves, and will (believe it or not) help with weightloss.
Screw Charlie Sheen, thats real Bi-Winning right there!
It may be your metabolism slowing down. It may be Binge Eating Disorder.
Either way, more exercise should help. It releases hormones that (in laymens terms) make people feel better about themselves, and will (believe it or not) help with weightloss.
Screw Charlie Sheen, thats real Bi-Winning right there!
(edited 13 years ago)
Thanks all
I'm really liking the idea of brushing my teeth to try and alleviate the cravings. I'll definitely try that out.
And yep, I have honey in natural yoghurt, but I often even turn healthy things into part of my comfort eating
Yeah, I kind of agree that actively doing something after tea would possibly help distract me. It just needs to be something where my mind can't keep wandering back to food.
I take it that you talked to your doctor first? I'm going to have to psyche myself up for this, I don't fancy bursting into tears in front of a stranger. I'm also a bit worried that I won't be taken seriously as I don't look overweight.
Original post by Jennet
I have a few tips on staying off the sugar, if that will help?
I saw on a program that if when you feel a craving, you have a glass of water instead, it subsides the feeling.
I also got told by someone that when they crave something sweet, they have a glass of water and then brush their teeth, and that makes the feeling go away.
Myself, I went to sainsbury's yesterday, and spent 30 pounds on only healthy stuff. I got some frozen fruit, natural yoghurt, muesli, porridge oats, bananas, and honey.... all grains and fruit basically. Now, when I crave something sweet, I HAVE something sweet - except the sweet thing I have is actually really healthy for you! For example, earlier I had muesli with chopped almonds and bananas, pureed mango, and natural yoghurt, with a bit of honey. Another fave is warm porridge with bananas and honey. It really fills a hole and fulfills my craving, but is very good for me at the same time.
I saw on a program that if when you feel a craving, you have a glass of water instead, it subsides the feeling.
I also got told by someone that when they crave something sweet, they have a glass of water and then brush their teeth, and that makes the feeling go away.
Myself, I went to sainsbury's yesterday, and spent 30 pounds on only healthy stuff. I got some frozen fruit, natural yoghurt, muesli, porridge oats, bananas, and honey.... all grains and fruit basically. Now, when I crave something sweet, I HAVE something sweet - except the sweet thing I have is actually really healthy for you! For example, earlier I had muesli with chopped almonds and bananas, pureed mango, and natural yoghurt, with a bit of honey. Another fave is warm porridge with bananas and honey. It really fills a hole and fulfills my craving, but is very good for me at the same time.
I'm really liking the idea of brushing my teeth to try and alleviate the cravings. I'll definitely try that out.
And yep, I have honey in natural yoghurt, but I often even turn healthy things into part of my comfort eating
Original post by Jazzfaction
i'm bad for comfort eating too, it's more a sign of boredom than anything else. You need an after tea activity to keep you busy, or have hot drinks straight away when you get fidgety hunger.
My gf and i are both terrible for snacking and this helped a bit for us.
I don't think your quite at the counsellor stage yet lol. maybe just changing a few habits will help
My gf and i are both terrible for snacking and this helped a bit for us.
I don't think your quite at the counsellor stage yet lol. maybe just changing a few habits will help
Yeah, I kind of agree that actively doing something after tea would possibly help distract me. It just needs to be something where my mind can't keep wandering back to food.
Original post by Anonymous
It sounds like Binge Eating Disorder to me, search the NHS website.
I too struggle with this and am seeing a Binge Eating specialist counsellor.
I too struggle with this and am seeing a Binge Eating specialist counsellor.
I take it that you talked to your doctor first? I'm going to have to psyche myself up for this, I don't fancy bursting into tears in front of a stranger. I'm also a bit worried that I won't be taken seriously as I don't look overweight.
Sounds like someone has a serious case of the munchies.
I could empathise with almost everything you said (and in a post as long as that, that's an achievement!). I generally have fairly healthy meals, with enough fruit and veg, but I'll binge on snacks between meals. I keep saying I'll go for a run or go to the gym, but I never get around to it.
I managed to lose 6lb over January and half of February, by not allowing myself to buy snacks, but then I went shopping with drunk munchies, and got back into the snacking habit. Since mid February, I've put on 8lb. I'm still within the normal BMI range, but if I carry on like this I'll definitely become overweight. It depresses me having squidgy bits on my tummy, despite my boyfriend telling me he loves them...
Feel free to PM me if you want to talk to someone who understands!
I managed to lose 6lb over January and half of February, by not allowing myself to buy snacks, but then I went shopping with drunk munchies, and got back into the snacking habit. Since mid February, I've put on 8lb. I'm still within the normal BMI range, but if I carry on like this I'll definitely become overweight. It depresses me having squidgy bits on my tummy, despite my boyfriend telling me he loves them...
Feel free to PM me if you want to talk to someone who understands!
Original post by Anonymous
Thanks all
I'm really liking the idea of brushing my teeth to try and alleviate the cravings. I'll definitely try that out.
And yep, I have honey in natural yoghurt, but I often even turn healthy things into part of my comfort eating
Yeah, I kind of agree that actively doing something after tea would possibly help distract me. It just needs to be something where my mind can't keep wandering back to food.
I take it that you talked to your doctor first? I'm going to have to psyche myself up for this, I don't fancy bursting into tears in front of a stranger. I'm also a bit worried that I won't be taken seriously as I don't look overweight.
I'm really liking the idea of brushing my teeth to try and alleviate the cravings. I'll definitely try that out.
And yep, I have honey in natural yoghurt, but I often even turn healthy things into part of my comfort eating
Yeah, I kind of agree that actively doing something after tea would possibly help distract me. It just needs to be something where my mind can't keep wandering back to food.
I take it that you talked to your doctor first? I'm going to have to psyche myself up for this, I don't fancy bursting into tears in front of a stranger. I'm also a bit worried that I won't be taken seriously as I don't look overweight.
Yeh I had a BMI of like 23 point something when I went to the doctors which is healthy I believe, but she assesed me properly to check I wasn't anorexic, or had anorexic tendencies and was pleased I'd come early as for most people if they don't address the problem of BED soon enough it does lead to obesity. She put me on a list to see a councellor and all is well right now.
There are soooooo many women out there that are not happy with their bodies! About 80% of women with a normal body size wish they were slimmer (BBC). We all have parts that we aren't happy, even I do! I'm sure you have a lovely figure, and with the right help and advice, you can lose this "extra weight". Try going on like a diet plan, i.e for breakfast, lunch, tea, dinner etc.
Also, personality is far more superior to looks anyday haha! With your bf, if he truly cared about you, this should not be an issue. And many guys prefer curvier women to size zeros cos they are true women!
Hope this helps and good luck!
Also, personality is far more superior to looks anyday haha! With your bf, if he truly cared about you, this should not be an issue. And many guys prefer curvier women to size zeros cos they are true women!
Hope this helps and good luck!
Original post by viriol
Your BF was right to feel that way. Your attitude was one of not wanting to share something with him - something he considered important in your relationship. Whether he liked your figure was for him to decide.
I'm not saying that the way OP feels is right or healthy (of course I think it should be 'corrected', 'cured' or 'changed' but it isn't that easy), but there are two sides. I know it doesn't feel good for him either but I'm quite sure that OP doesn't do it just because she wants to be mean or because she doesn't care about him. But having sex with him wouldn't necessarily be enjoyable if she is having these thoughts (which don't seem normal 'i look a bit fat, i'm not pretty' girl talk).
It may even hurt if she is too scared/anxious. She would probably think about the embarrassment the whole time. Mind can do pretty funny things. She may think that her bf is making fun of him in his head or something similar which she would be thinking about the whole time. Again, I say, it's not healthy and it's not normal. This all is just speculation but I'm quite sure that she doesn't do it just because she want to be mean or punish her bf.
When you say that "get over it" to a person like this, it's like saying "just be happy, it's easy" to someone who's depressed. When you are scared of something silly, you know that it's irrational but you can't help it. People may have phobias that affect their lifes even too much but you can't just decide 'yeah this is pretty stupid actually, maybe i'll have a day off and do what I have feared for years'.
EDIT: Oh yeah, I forgot to add that could this be a case of body dysmorphic disorder? I'm not sure because I don't know that much about the disorder itself but I have heard some facts about it.
(edited 13 years ago)
Original post by prescilla
When you say that "get over it" to a person like this, it's like saying "just be happy, it's easy" to someone who's depressed. When you are scared of something silly, you know that it's irrational but you can't help it. People may have phobias that affect their lifes even too much but you can't just decide 'yeah this is pretty stupid actually, maybe i'll have a day off and do what I have feared for years'.
When you say that "get over it" to a person like this, it's like saying "just be happy, it's easy" to someone who's depressed. When you are scared of something silly, you know that it's irrational but you can't help it. People may have phobias that affect their lifes even too much but you can't just decide 'yeah this is pretty stupid actually, maybe i'll have a day off and do what I have feared for years'.
But being happy is so easy if you've got someone! I'm just saying the reason for the OP's fear of making love with her BF could have been easily overcome if she'd just let him decide - is there a better way to raise your ego in such a situation? OK, it is hard to get over an irrational fear, but it is possible. One only has the moral obligation to try his/her best!
Original post by kiss_my_asthma_99
Seriously TSR should have a maximum word count, these threads are getting ridiculously long. . .
How the hell do you people get into further education?
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