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I like a Pakistani girl but am not myself. Can it work?

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Original post by gunmetalpanda
What does your family have against arabs/indians/bengalis?


They have their reason just like other nationalities will have their own reasons.


Original post by Cesar Lecat
Then ask your family that their views are against Islam. Educate.

If you wanted to marry a Muslim and you're parents reject him on the grounds of his ethnicity/nationality then they are wrong and they can't do that, it's forbidden in Islam.


Not really because i just wouldn't pursue a girl from those listed in the first place. When i find a girl attractive i try to find as much about them as possible and their nationality is one of the first things i would find out. Anyways let's not steer this read in the wrong direction as the brother wants advice and would probably rather not see his thread, hijacked.
Original post by ibs137
my ex was pakistani and i am not one.. are you even a muslim though?


how come she is automatically muslim because she is muslim, most likely yes but not necessarily
Original post by Dr.Sweet Science
I'm sure he stated he was a non-muslim but even if he's muslims there will be massive problems due to nationality/culture/familys opinion etc could honestly go on about the complications that would arise but i wish the best for the lad, personally i think it's a road he shouldn't go down.


Bengali Indian and Pakistani culture is quite similar...I know loadsa bengali people who married pakistanis and my brothers married to an Indian Muslim (we are Pakistani) we speak similar language and the culture is very similar...I guess it depends on each person personally I would just want them to be Muslim don't care about nationality :smile:
Original post by Cesar Lecat
I'm guessing you had a relationship with her?


Nope, but i do keep in touch.
Original post by blush.ox
:gasp:

:woo:


surely im invited :colonhash:


Yup u sure are.
I always try and invite myself to weddings. Mainly for the FREE FOOD! lol

p.s. Theres gonna b a BYOF policy at my wedding. lol
Original post by Anonymous
Im Bangladeshi.


You're going at this all wrong. Muslims don't date. Fornication? It's detestable. In the long run it is good for you to stay away from this behaviour. You'll get a short thrill and it will lead nowhere.

Secondly, I'm Bangladeshi and am engaged to a Pakistani. It's all good. Some of the elder Bangladeshi's may have a problem due to the war. My mum was involved in that and recalls how Pakistanis came to her house, whilst she hid, and were raping women in the area. Thankfully she escaped. Many were killed too. This has left a very bitter taste and brings up strong emotions for the elder generation who experienced it.

My view is quite simply, if you do it Islamically then it's great. Muslims should marry muslims with the right intentions and everything will work out fine. Having girlfriend-boyfriend relations isn't conducive.

Also, do not forget, asian families strongly object to their women especially, messing around. You could get in a lot of deep **** and get hurt. You should be more scared of God though.
Reply 106
Avatar for Hey TSR
Hey TSR
1
Original post by Dr.Sweet Science
At what price do you challenge the status quo? Losing your family? Chucked out of the house? Getting beaten up and disowned? Family for me will always come first and i'm sure it's the same for most people.

Personally as a Pakistani if they aren't Indians/Bengalis or Arabs then i'm sure my family would be perfectly fine about whoever i decide to bring home but would highly prefer a Pakistani girl. Theres plenty of other nationalities too choose from and i think the brother shouldn't limit himself, personally i feel he should go for a Bengali girl as he would able to relate to her more than a girl from a different nationality.


Eugh that arrogance makes me feel sick. Honestly who does your family think they are? Why do you hate bengalis? If its related to the war, get over it mate. If anything they should be hating you guys as you were the murderers - you killed millions of their people. Nationalism brings nothing but trouble.

Tell your family to move on. Arrogance, rid yourself of it.
Just read that you are interested for purpose of marriage with her. That's great!

The best way to do this is to go via the family. That's the traditional and best way. You shouldn't really approach her directly, but in a public place you may want to approach her (preferrably with someone else) and get some details and suggest that you are interested. Don't do it behind the back of the family.

The other trouble is most families aren't very religious at all and have a tribal/village mentality. This is tough to overcome. You need to appeal to the Islamic side and show that you can provide and are a good person. Obviously they would prefer a Pakistani-- it's easier for them culturally and in communication-- but you need to convince them that you're good enough. Remember, you are marrying in to a new family. They will be your new family. Keep these things in mind before you decide to go ahead.
Original post by Dr.Sweet Science
Not really because i just wouldn't pursue a girl from those listed in the first place. When i find a girl attractive i try to find as much about them as possible and their nationality is one of the first things i would find out. Anyways let's not steer this read in the wrong direction as the brother wants advice and would probably rather not see his thread, hijacked.


You obviously harbour some kind of hatred, at least prejudice, against other nationalities. That is abhorrent in Islam. You seriously need to get with the times and educate yourself. Do you think you are better than others? People that have your views, in my experience, haven't been out and met a variety of people. It's a closed, narrow view.
(edited 13 years ago)
Original post by cool_beans1993
Bengali Indian and Pakistani culture is quite similar...I know loadsa bengali people who married pakistanis and my brothers married to an Indian Muslim (we are Pakistani) we speak similar language and the culture is very similar...I guess it depends on each person personally I would just want them to be Muslim don't care about nationality :smile:


Pakistan is a multi-cultural state so it's extremely stupid of you to generalise us as having a similar culture to Indians/Bengalis. Pakistani cultures are not similar at all unless your family are Muhajirs, Pakistani and Bengalis are vastly different from their cuisine, heritage, ethnicity etc. As for languages last time i checked Hindi and Bangla were not spoken in Pakistan and my own language is exclusive to Pakistan so it would be appreciated if you said your family cultures is similar because as a Pakistani first-hand i have witnessed the vast differences that exist between Pakistani and Indians/Bengalis.


Original post by Hey TSR
Eugh that arrogance makes me feel sick. Honestly who does your family think they are? Why do you hate bengalis? If its related to the war, get over it mate. If anything they should be hating you guys as you were the murderers - you killed millions of their people. Nationalism brings nothing but trouble.

Tell your family to move on. Arrogance, rid yourself of it.


This has nothing to do with the 1971 war of Independance!

No-one hates Bengalis, don't act all pious i'm sure most of those who complain about this so called arrogance would be the same if their daughter brought home an African muslim, yet come on TSR pretending they live in utopia. Anyways i don't find Indians, Bengalis along with Arabs attractive bar Lebanese who can be good looking, so it solves that problem and most Pakistanis don't from my experience especially when it comes to Indians/Bengalis.

Original post by silent ninja
You obviously harbour some kind of hatred, at least prejudice, against other nationalities. That is abhorrent in Islam. You seriously need to get with the times and educate yourself. Do you think you are better than others? People that have your views, in my experience, haven't been out and met a variety of people. It's a closed, narrow view.


Ok as a willing student please educate me, Sir. I was helping the brother out because i've seen this situation happen a countless number of times and lets just say it has not ended well. Most Pakistanis would be against marrying outside let alone an Indian/Bengali or Arab.
Reply 110
Avatar for Hey TSR
Hey TSR
1
Original post by Dr.Sweet Science
This has nothing to do with the 1971 war of Independance!

No-one hates Bengalis, don't act all pious i'm sure most of those who complain about this so called arrogance would be the same if their daughter brought home an African muslim, yet come on TSR pretending they live in utopia. Anyways i don't find Indians, Bengalis along with Arabs attractive bar Lebanese who can be good looking, so it solves that problem and most Pakistanis don't from my experience especially when it comes to Indians/Bengalis.


Ok, so why do your family not like the idea of their son/daughter marrying a non-Pakistani, or, in this case, a Bengali, Indian or Arab?

And its the case with most Pakistani families I know - really is a backwards mentality.
(edited 13 years ago)
Original post by Jamil1987
Yup u sure are.
I always try and invite myself to weddings. Mainly for the FREE FOOD! lol

p.s. Theres gonna b a BYOF policy at my wedding. lol


ah typical pakistani right there :wink:
omdz im soo guna be there :woo:
Original post by Jamil1987

I always try and invite myself to weddings. Mainly for the FREE FOOD! lol

p.s. Theres gonna b a BYOF policy at my wedding. lol


LOOOL....proper asian :P
i would hate to go to ur wedding then...no free food :frown:
Reply 113
Avatar for Hamesh
Hamesh
6
Original post by cool_beans1993
LOOOL....proper asian :P
i would hate to go to ur wedding then...no free food :frown:


Asian weddings & food, don't get me started.

How long do you have to wait? :tongue:

It's like the wedding hall wants its guests to starve and faint.
I'm not sure they'd want their daughter in a relationship with you if you were a Pakistani girl...
Reply 115
Avatar for Z-Ninja
Z-Ninja
Did anyone say something about free food?? :biggrin:
Original post by ibs137
my ex was pakistani and i am not one.. are you even a muslim though?


Why does that matter? :facepalm:
It's not that she wouldn't see you that way, necessarily. It just seems to be fairly common that it may not be accepted by the family thus affecting her decision.
Original post by imperial maniac
Why does that matter? :facepalm:


Probably with the regards to the families possibly being more accepting if they're both muslim - assuming they do get so far down the line that they're considering marriage, and have family members who are ignorant and not willing to give up nonsensical traditions.
Original post by Hamesh
Asian weddings & food, don't get me started.

How long do you have to wait? :tongue:

It's like the wedding hall wants its guests to starve and faint.


omdz yh its soo annoying...i eat before i go n then eat more when i get there cas u get food so late!
at the end the foods usually amazing tho lol :P especially if they got like chicken tikka and stuff!

Original post by Z-Ninja
Did anyone say something about free food?? :biggrin:


i knew u were gonna look at this...gosh cant beleive u didnt make me any of that drink i told u how to make...send some over yoo :P

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