Do you approach people you fancy? Do you get approached?

So I just signed up to these forums after lurking in the background for a while. Wow, 'tis interesting reading some of these posts!

So anyway onto my question. Whilst it seems like everyone here are frustrated virgins who are scared of rejection...who here actually regularly approaches people they fancy? Please share your experiences with us. Or do you just never bother approaching those you like?

Also...do you ever get approached??

Reply 1

Dorito

15

I approach and get approached when alcohol is involved.

Thank God for alcohol.

Reply 2

Lewk

15

I've never approached anyone :/ mainly due to my incredible shyness and very narrow taste.

I've been approached several times in the last ~6 months, but never before that. ( did i start doing something right? O_o )

I've also had people tell friends who in turn tell me
But most of the time it's girls that don't know I'm gay... :/

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 3

Acapella_x

6

Original post by Honey-Monster

So I just signed up to these forums after lurking in the background for a while. Wow, 'tis interesting reading some of these posts!

So anyway onto my question. Whilst it seems like everyone here are frustrated virgins who are scared of rejection...who here actually regularly approaches people they fancy? Please share your experiences with us. Or do you just never bother approaching those you like?

Also...do you ever get approached??

As a female I have always felt very insecure when it comes to approaching guys. So I didn't bother with it, and let all the guys I felt attracted to slip away. The two long term relationships I've had, both guys approached me. However I'm now onto my third relationship... but I approached him in the most unusual way. He is a student who has been living in the flat opposite for a while.

I first recall seeing him when he came around the area to view the flat and I was immediately attracted to him, we have given each other so much eye contact over the past year, but I didn't know what to make of it. I was very shy to approach him so I slipped a letter through his door and left my number on it (cheesy I know). He sent me a text the next day saying that it was very brave of me to send the letter and that he wouldn't of had the courage to do so.

After numerous texts we went out on a date the following week and now we're together. Even though it wasn't a face to face approach it made me realise that you won't know until you try. :smile:

Reply 4

Honey-Monster

OP

Original post by Acapella_x

As a female I have always felt very insecure when it comes to approaching guys. So I didn't bother with it, and let all the guys I felt attracted to slip away. The two long term relationships I've had, both guys approached me. However I'm now onto my third relationship... but I approached him in the most unusual way. He is a student who has been living in the flat opposite for a while.

I first recall seeing him when he came around the area to view the flat and I was immediately attracted to him, we have given each other so much eye contact over the past year, but I didn't know what to make of it. I was very shy to approach him so I slipped a letter through his door and left my number on it (cheesy I know). He sent me a text the next day saying that it was very brave of me to send the letter and that he wouldn't of had the courage to do so.

After numerous texts we went out on a date the following week and now we're together. Even though it wasn't a face to face approach it made me realise that you won't know until you try. :smile:

Awwww that's sweet. But lol! I mean, why is everyone so scared of the opposite sex these days? Just why? Why are people so scared of starting a conversation with someone they fancy? Lol. What makes people so scared of rejection?

Reply 5

Acapella_x

6

Original post by Honey-Monster

Awwww that's sweet. But lol! I mean, why is everyone so scared of the opposite sex these days? Just why? Why are people so scared of starting a conversation with someone they fancy? Lol. What makes people so scared of rejection?

I'm not going to lie a lot of guys make it look easy! And it isn't... No one wants to be rejected. When you like someone, you want to feel wanted by them... So you do get and think more about being rejected by that person then thinking about being accepted. I wouldn't say I'm scared of starting a conversation with someone... I can do this. It just wouldn't be a conversation about fancying them or coming on to them... that I can't do. Plus when a guy is not smiling when he is looking at you... yeah that just puts you right off, which leads back to thinking more negative into the lines of rejection.

Reply 6

sil3nt_cha0s

16

Original post by Honey-Monster

Awwww that's sweet. But lol! I mean, why is everyone so scared of the opposite sex these days? Just why? Why are people so scared of starting a conversation with someone they fancy? Lol. What makes people so scared of rejection?

Hey, why don't YOU tell us how your approaching of girls has gone? :smile:

Reply 7

alijimi

11

Original post by Honey-Monster

Awwww that's sweet. But lol! I mean, why is everyone so scared of the opposite sex these days? Just why? Why are people so scared of starting a conversation with someone they fancy? Lol. What makes people so scared of rejection?

Because it's guys who approach girls most of the time, and for guys it is not easy to guess whether a girl they fancy likes them as well. Sometimes she smiles at you and shows interest in talking to you but once you mention relationship, she will tell you that she considers you as a friend, blah blah... :colone:

There are also girls who can be mean while rejecting a guy. I mean you don't like the guy, fine, but you can reject him politely without the need to be rude and hurt his feelings :angry:

.

Girls seem to not know how much effort it takes for a guy to make the first step, start a conversation and show his interest. Rejection is very easy, the easiest to say is "I already have a boyfriend", even if she doesn't have :s-smilie:

.

Reply 8

DopplerEffect

17

I've never approached anyone :/ mainly due to my incredible shyness and very narrow taste. :frown:

Reply 9

Miss Behaving

13

I wish someone would approach me *sigh*

Reply 10

Fumi

10

I've actually managed to approach a couple people only with the help alcohol provided me with.

I find that when people approach me they are always extremely clingy after exchanging numbers.

Reply 11

RequiemForADream

10

I haven't approached anyone since starting uni for a couple of reasons that render me not really seeing myself as boyfriend material at the moment. I haven't had anyone approach me either, which just confirms my doubts :redface:

Original post by Miss Behaving

I wish someone would approach me *sigh*

Why don't you approach someone? Guys can be nervous too you know!

Reply 12

Miss Behaving

13

Original post by RequiemForADream

I haven't approached anyone since starting uni for a couple of reasons that render me not really seeing myself as boyfriend material at the moment. I haven't had anyone approach me either, which just confirms my doubts :redface:

Why aren't you bf material?

Original post by RequiemForADream

Why don't you approach someone? Guys can be nervous too you know!

Because rejection terrifies me >.<

Reply 13

littlepotatoe

2

A couple of times after a few drinks I've approached guys, but I'm not the one who made it clear that I liked them haha, the other way around. So this way both make an effort. :wink:

ddd

Original post by Miss Behaving

Why aren't you bf material?

A couple of reasons both physical and mental I suppose. Most importantly, I just honestly don't see why someone should have to settle for someone like me when there are much better alternatives. Not trying to be depressive or anything, I've just accepted it as it is :smile:

Because rejection terrifies me >.<

Rejection terrifies us all! I say if you like someone you should just go for it, take the chance, because you probably don't really have much to lose. If someone says no to you, it's not your fault, it just wasn't meant to be.

Reply 16

lukas1051

18

Original post by Honey-Monster

So I just signed up to these forums after lurking in the background for a while. Wow, 'tis interesting reading some of these posts!

So anyway onto my question. Whilst it seems like everyone here are frustrated virgins who are scared of rejection...who here actually regularly approaches people they fancy? Please share your experiences with us. Or do you just never bother approaching those you like?

Also...do you ever get approached??

Yeah, I approach people. You never get anywhere sitting in the corner crying about it. I don't know why people are so scared of rejection, you're not exactly proposing to the person, just starting a conversation, making them laugh, getting to know them a bit. People always complain about never getting anywhere, and girls going off with the confident macho guys, but can you blame them? Shyness is such a massive turn-off.

Reply 17

Miss Behaving

13

Original post by RequiemForADream

A couple of reasons both physical and mental I suppose. Most importantly, I just honestly don't see why someone should have to settle for someone like me when there are much better alternatives. Not trying to be depressive or anything, I've just accepted it as it is

Rejection terrifies us all! I say if you like someone you should just go for it, take the chance, because you probably don't really have much to lose. If someone says no to you, it's not your fault, it just wasn't meant to be.

It does sound depressive adn you clearly don't have a lot of self worth. Ever thought about liking yourself regardless of what you think others may think?

I guess, but if that someone is a good friend, then it could ruin the friendship by making things awkward and placing me in a position of weakness.

Both.

I was approached once. I rejected quicker than you could say "Chubby bunny". I probably should not have done that...

I don't approach as often as I should, but to be honest, I don't bother when I'm out because I want to have fun and if I do approach someone it is because of some genuine interest.

Do you approach people you fancy? Do you get approached?

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