insecurities in relationships

are you insecure? if so then what makes you so??

what is the point after which a mate becomes a threat to the partner?

Reply 1

*Dreaming*

15

Yes I can be....mainly from comments that he says though. And I have no mates that are threats.

Reply 2

street.lovin'

17

I am kind of insecure. :frown:

Reply 3

Gemma16

12

Yes, i don't know why really, i annoy myself :frown:

Yes, but I guess the thing that gets me is the unplanned nights out. I don't know why it being unplanned makes any difference, but it just makes me a little uneasy when I don't know who he's with or where he's going....

Lol, just realised how much of a weirdo I sound. I don't like obsessively call him or ask him questions, but if there was one thing that would make me "uncomfortable", it would be that.

Reply 6

i worry that my girl will find someone else.
she was sex texting someone else a few weeks ago. so i kind of have my reasons to be concerned atm.

Reply 7

Meh.

Yes. I struggle to believe people can really care for me; and even though I know he honestly means what he says, I question his judgement to even say it in the first place. This is also amplified by me being insanely insecure over his past - which is barely anything to be honest.

Meh. Being insecure sucks. I had no idea I would be at all like this.

Reply 8

frespanglish

With my ex if anything I was too secure! I trusted him completely and thought we had a strong loving relationship. We had an argument, my mum got annoyed with him for making me upset and I told him all the things she said. The next day he broke up with me. 5 weeks later I found out he was going out with a girl who was supposed to be my friend after him telling me he didn't really want a gf, that he cared about me, wanted me to be happy etc. Maybe there's two extremes to this? :s-smilie:

Reply 9

Tyler.

A lot people are insecure in a relationship. I compare it to having a lottery ticket in your pocket with a £500,000 win on it. You are going to keep checking your pocket, because you are worried you've lost it.

Reply 10

Original post by linkdapink

Yes, but I guess the thing that gets me is the unplanned nights out. I don't know why it being unplanned makes any difference, but it just makes me a little uneasy when I don't know who he's with or where he's going....

Lol, just realised how much of a weirdo I sound. I don't like obsessively call him or ask him questions, but if there was one thing that would make me "uncomfortable", it would be that.

i know what you mean.
i think its natural tbh.

Reply 11

Tomac

Original post by Tyler.

A lot people are insecure in a relationship. I compare it to having a lottery ticket in your pocket with a £500,000 win on it. You are going to keep checking your pocket, because you are worried you've lost it.

Quote on point. (Y)
+rep

Reply 12

goddogit

OP

Original post by kellymichelle

i worry that my girl will find someone else.
she was sex texting someone else a few weeks ago. so i kind of have my reasons to be concerned atm.

what makes you still want to be with her if she's sex texting other people? it just surprises me :s-smilie:

if she's done it once, she WILL do it again. sorry to say :frown:

Reply 13

Original post by goddogit

what makes you still want to be with her if she's sex texting other people? it just surprises me :s-smilie:

if she's done it once, she WILL do it again. sorry to say :frown:

hmm. its a really tough situation to be in.
hmm im not sure.
i love her. i dont want to be without her.
i did very nearly end it.
but she insisted shed never do it again. she was in tears begging me not to leave and so i said id give her one more chance.
if i ever find anything like it again, trust me, there wont be another chance.

Reply 14

chemical_bex

14

Original post by goddogit

what makes you still want to be with her if she's sex texting other people? it just surprises me :s-smilie:

if she's done it once, she WILL do it again. sorry to say :frown:

You don't know that...what a strange thing to tell someone.

Reply 15

Antonia87

14

Original post by goddogit

what makes you still want to be with her if she's sex texting other people? it just surprises me :s-smilie:

if she's done it once, she WILL do it again. sorry to say :frown:

How can you say that? You dont even know the girl. Just someone screws up once doesnt mean they will do it again and again.

Reply 16

Original post by Antonia87

How can you say that? You dont even know the girl. Just someone screws up once doesnt mean they will do it again and again.

this.
yeah tbf i did think it was a bit odd that you said it like it was inevitable.
maybe now that ive shocked her into knowing that i will infact leave her next time, she really wont do it again?
we were on a break when she did it.. but the rules of the break were that we werent allowed to see anyone else, but still

Reply 17

goddogit

OP

Original post by kellymichelle

hmm. its a really tough situation to be in.
hmm im not sure.
i love her. i dont want to be without her.
i did very nearly end it.
but she insisted shed never do it again. she was in tears begging me not to leave and so i said id give her one more chance.
if i ever find anything like it again, trust me, there wont be another chance.

Original post by Antonia87

How can you say that? You dont even know the girl. Just someone screws up once doesnt mean they will do it again and again.

Original post by chemical_bex

You don't know that...what a strange thing to tell someone.

If you're askign me how i say it, i have just one answer: its instinct. taking advantage of a situation comes very natural to us idiots. i wish we wouldnt need to cheat in the first place.

and once we know we dont get caught or punished doing wrong things, we tend to do them over; for two reasons, one, because its exciting and two, because most our libidos are stronger than our minds. true story. im sure there are many sexual study psychologists who are nodding their heads at the minute.

Reply 18