Sex before marriage is always wrong.

Scroll to see replies

Well, I don't think it's obvious at all. Not only does it not actually exclude those (which are much more commonplace than most people realise, and actually make up a great deal of sex worldwide), but the glorification and centrality of sex which is contributed to by a lot of 'consensual' sex can often uphold and propagate these kinds of things. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a stereotypical "sex is intrinsically bad" religious person - sex is a beautiful and brilliant thing - I'm concerned about what happens when a culture becomes totally engrossed by it. It's simply not the case that issues of rape and trafficking are entirely separate and independent of consensual sex - those kinds of more obvious, explicit abuses can be aggravated and potentiated by a culture that begins to organise and define itself around sex.

I'm sorry I didn't read the rest of your post (it was really long, forgive me) BUT I think what you are saying here is wrong. And in fact, I think you could definitely argue that the opposite was true.

Arguably societies with a more repressed attitude toward sex have a greater problem with prostitution/trafficking/rape than those which have a more liberal attitude toward sex.

I mean - in past-times when this country (UK) was a more religious/conservative place and those who had sex outside of marriage were condemned etc etc - marriage itself was almost a form of prostitution/trafficking involving some poor naive girl being effectively sold for sex/children to a husband by her family. And almost every wealthy man would have mistresses and prostitutes at his service.

I mean human beings will always be "engrossed" by sex, in that they want to have it. It seems to me that in those societies where it consensual sex is available and acceptable you will see a reduction in sordid backstreet affairs. AND, that a society which emphasises love or even just compatibility rather than virginity and sex, as the purpose/requirement of marriage - is indeed less "engrossed" and "obsessed" by sex than one which seeks to repress or condemn free sexual activity.

You only have to think of how the popes carried on :wink:

"Marriage" basically, is a naive and incorrect response to addressing the "abuse" of sex. Because in societies where the OP's statement is regarded as true, those kind of abuses appear to be much worse.

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 81

Dirac Delta Function

Original post by Aack

I don't really care what other people think or do.

Me neither, unless it's a person I might marry, then I want her to be a virgin.

Everyone else though, couldn't care less about. They can do whatever the hell they like, I'm indifferent.

Reply 82

_brody_

I don't have a problem with sex before marrage (if i did i would be screwed)
but i do have a problem under age sex..... wierd.

Reply 83

munn

Sex should only be performed to conceive children and therefore should only be done after marriage, and sparingly.

However, since children can be delivered by stork, there is no real need for sex, unless you are a major lurpak fan that is

Reply 84

Pindar

Original post by Lewroll

Marriage is unnecessary in todays society.

This.

I can't believe almost a quarter of people actually voted "agree" :facepalm:

How exactly can sex before marriage be "wrong"? That makes no logical sense.

Reply 85

0201Bean

No one cares. Do it if you really want to.

Reply 86

SirMasterKey

Original post by wactm

Even religous people should see the flaw in their argument that it is wrong? I'm pretty sure Adam and Eve couldnt get married yet they had sex?

hurr durr

Actually Christians consider that that God did marry Adam and Eve.

As for my answer

not everyone wants there relationship to be shown by a piece of paper. If people don't want to marry, they are not allowed sex? That is absurd.

Reply 87

HighestKungFu

Original post by a_t

I disagree, marriage before sex however, that is always wrong

Edit: I misread this thread...LOL.

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 88

Retrodiction

Marriage is a fatuous institution; it shouldn't shape the proceedings of anyone's relationship.

Reply 89

Fusilero

Original post by HighestKungFu

I can't believe this got 8 plus reps?

9 now. But why is it so hard to believe that several people agree with the statement?

Reply 90

Mad4footie

I won't have sex before marriage cos I'm a Christian who tries to follow the bible. But I don't judge people who do.

Reply 91

Pindar

Original post by Elipsis

I wouldn't have a problem with it if people were actually capable of using contraception properly.

You can blame too little, too late sex education in schools and the catholic church for that.

Original post by Elipsis

200,000 abortions and over 200,000 unplanned pregnancies resulting in birth a year says to me that we can't. And how many of us that have indulged before marriage can honestly say they have never had their girlfriends come on a few days late or come on a few days late and **** themselves? As sex before marriage has occurred more and more the abortion rate has increased, as has the rates of single motherhood, both of which are extremely undesirable for our society.

But hey, i'm married so I can get my fill :biggrin:

So you can either use contraception, abort the baby, or choose to keep it.
What is the problem?

Reply 92

NeonSkies

What if the person you marry is really rubbish in bed though?

(Just kidding) It's a personal choice, but I personally think if you love the person you should be able to have sex with them whenever it feels right for the both of you, whether that is before marriage or after marriage.

Reply 93

Fusilero

Original post by HighestKungFu

Because it has all the connotations of either religious nut jobs and/or people who say that they condone it because really they CAN'T get laid and need an excuse as to why.

This is the 21st century for **** sake. Even many Victorians couldn't keep to it in their time. It's archaic to marry someone without ever having made love, how will you know if you're compatible?

Ah, you've misread it. It says:

MARRIAGE before SEX is wrong

not

SEX before MARRIAGE is wrong

Everyone here is in agreement :wink:

Reply 94

HighestKungFu

Original post by Dirac Delta Function

Me neither, unless it's a person I might marry, then I want her to be a virgin.

Everyone else though, couldn't care less about. They can do whatever the hell they like, I'm indifferent.

Lol good luck with that hypocrite.

Reply 95

PinkMobilePhone

Volunteer Team

I disagree.

sex before marriage produced my beautiful daughter.

Reply 96

HighestKungFu

Original post by Fusilero

Ah, you've misread it. It says:

MARRIAGE before SEX is wrong

not

SEX before MARRIAGE is wrong

Everyone here is in agreement :wink:

LOL sorry I misread it! It's late and I'm hungover from last night. In the words of Larry David "I ****keeddd up".

Sorrrryyy everybody, and sorry to you lol!

Reply 97

Calumcalum

Original post by BeanofJelly

I think we're actually very close to agreeing :tongue:

hence my quickness to distance myself from a typical "sex is bad/taboo/a necessary evil" kind of thing. You're right in that a too conservative approach to sex will also be detrimental - I agree with that too. And certainly, I don't think all sex outside of marriage contributes in this way to more explicit abuses. But it does seem as if a cheapening of sex, by sex not necessarily outside of marriage but outside of a loving, committed relationship, can contribute to some of these abuses.

And I fully agree that simply suggesting marriage as a way to end it is lazy and hugely problematic - the only reason I prefer marriage is because marriage is supposedly correlated with love, and on those grounds supposed to be a rejection of manipulative and degrading sex, because that's what love rejects. That's why I'm unconvinced of political proposals to try and sort the problem out by just promoting 'marriage' as a political ideal and offering tax breaks and so forth. That will just lead to loveless marriages and more abuse of sex. Bear in mind that the kind of marriage I value in terms of sex is one that is done for the love and intimacy genuinely shared between two people. So I think it's easy to go too far both ways on this - I'm still convinced that an ultra-liberal attitude towards sex can contribute to degradation and manipulation, but yet I wholeheartedly affirm with you that an ultra-conservative attitude can do exactly the same.

Reply 98

kat2pult

Original post by MovingOn

Disagree completely, sex only after marriage is wrong. Why risk submitting yourself to a lifetime of bad sex with someone who doesn't sync with you in bed? Sex is the glue that holds a relationship together and if you don't have the glue, it can all fall to pieces.

Someone may have already put this, I don't know, I stopped reading when I got to this post.

Whilst I agree with the first sentence of your post, I don't agree with the rest.

Sex is definitely NOT the glue of a relationship. It's a bonus, and it's even more of a bonus when you have a partner who listens to what you need/want from them regarding sex and the like, but it's not what is the be-all and end-all to a relationship. The connection you have with that person is far more important; how sturdy your relationship is, your willingness to compromise and listen to each other, etc.

Plus, surely people can get better at sex with practice?

Reply 99

BeanofJelly

Original post by Calumcalum

I think we're actually very close to agreeing :tongue:

Goody

I see what you mean. Although your position would be more truthfully expressed as "sex outside of a secure, respectful environment may be harmful to some parties" wouldn't it? :tongue:

Which is rather toned down on what you originally seemed to be saying.

I think we pretty much stand at the same point and this is just pedantics now :tongue: