My mum's phoned a helpline about my dad

I went into the kitchen this morning and heard my mum in the other room crying on the phone to one of those helplines saying that my dad's putting her through mental cruelty because he keeps giving my sister spending money. They kept putting her through to other helplines though and I don't think she got anywhere. She hates my sister and doesn't want either her or my dad to have anything to do with her, but my dad keeps going behind her back and giving her money. She called the police a few years ago because my sister came up the house screaming saying, 'I WANT SOME ****ING MONEEEY' and kept calling my mum a slag and a whore when she said no, I've only got enough money for the bills. But the police just said, 'don't give her any money then', when they could hear her getting abusive in the background.

I don't know what to say to my mum because I don't like my sister either. What can I do to help?

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Reply 1

Arcanine

"I want some ****ing money".

Reply 2

Hype en Ecosse

Give me her number, I'll give her something to scream about.

Reply 3

angryvivo

you sister needs a slap, tell your mom that. I am guessing you're white/british because if your family were an ethnic min. your sister woulda been slapped a few years ago by now

Reply 4

WelshBluebird

Original post by Lassilsa

my dad's putting her through mental cruelty because he keeps giving my sister spending money

How does giving your sister spending money equal putting your mum through mental cruelty :confused:

Reply 5

Sovietpride

Original post by WelshBluebird

How does giving your sister spending money equal putting your mum through mental cruelty :confused:

Probably that mother wants some discipline and or fiscal control, whilst dad seems to be head over heels *dear princess can have whatever she wants* mode.

Just a guess mind you =/.

Reply 6

MovingOn

Perhaps you could encourage your mom to get a restraining order against your sister if she really can't work things out with her.

Reply 7

jimbo139

talk to your mum about it. let her know that whatever happens you're there for her.
Your sister sounds like a nightmare, but she will eventually either grow up or move out.

Reply 8

WelshBluebird

Original post by Sovietpride

Probably that mother wants some discipline and or fiscal control, whilst dad seems to be head over heels *dear princess can have whatever she wants* mode.

Just a guess mind you =/.

Still doesn't really equate to mental cruelty though.
Just a difference in parenting styles that is common in pretty much every family (with me for example, after I finish uni, if I live at home for any amount of time my dad will want me to pay rent, and my mother will want me not to pay rent).

Reply 9

Lassilsa

Original post by jimbo139

talk to your mum about it. let her know that whatever happens you're there for her.
Your sister sounds like a nightmare, but she will eventually either grow up or move out.

She moved out two years ago but my dad still keeps throwing money at her behind my mum's back. He bought her two cars that she drove without a license or insurance and wrote off (and got a criminal record). It makes me so angry to think about it.

Reply 10

jimbo139

if she's moved out & can't behave herself, you should not let her in the house & have nothing to do with her.
Your mum might be able to get a restraining order (or at least threaten to do so) if your sister's harassing you. How old is she?
Perhaps the citizens advice bureau could tell you what the legal situation is.
your dad's a fool if he allows her to drive without a licence or insurance - she could have been jailed if she'd had a crash & killed someone.

Reply 11

takethyfacehence

I don't really understand this... is it your mum's money that your dad is giving willy nilly to your sister? Because if it's not her money and if she wants nothing to do with your dad or sister, I don't see what it's got to do with your mum. Your dad can do what he likes with his money, surely? I mean it doesn't sound like a nice situation and the thing about the cars without license or insurance sounds awful, but either you and your mum want to get involved or you don't. I'm sure lots more has gone on but by the OP it sounds like your sister is the one harassing your mum rather than your dad?

Reply 12

StephenP91

Wow, what? He keeps giving your sister Spending money?

Reply 13

Magsam

What business is it of your mums if your dad gives her his money?

Okay, your sister is a massive bitch, but it's not your mums problem if she does what she can. You need to talk to your dad.

Reply 14

Lassilsa

Original post by Magsam

What business is it of your mums if your dad gives her his money?

Okay, your sister is a massive bitch, but it's not your mums problem if she does what she can. You need to talk to your dad.

I thought that parenting was supposed to be a joint effort? My mum and dad are a married couple. On top of that, my dad refused to take my mum out on Saturday because he'd bought my sister a new phone contract and couldn't afford the petrol.

Reply 15

DiZZeeKiD

Sounds like a job for Jezza....

Reply 16

Kiwiiiii

What a cruel and hearthbraking story.

Reply 17

Manc990

Original post by angryvivo

you sister needs a slap, tell your mom that. I am guessing you're white/british because if your family were an ethnic min. your sister woulda been slapped a few years ago by now