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Boyfriend thinks of other girls while having sex with me

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Reply 20

Rascacielos

Original post by Anonymous

It makes me feel really crap and upset. Yes, he did actually tell me this.

Is it normal?

If he truly loved you, he would be interested in you, not other girls. I think you already know that.

Reply 21

Rascacielos

Original post by doggyfizzel

Just randomly call out some other guys name, and when he asks just say it was "this other guy....."

This.

Reply 22

disco1000

Original post by Anonymous

It makes me feel really crap and upset. Yes, he did actually tell me this.

Is it normal?

In what context did he mention this?
was he purposely trying to make you insecure or was he just openly talking about his fantasies?
I'd say there are two possibilities to this, it may be a classik case of the grass is greener on the other side syndrome, now that he's got you, he doesn't appreciate sleeping with you, the way he may when your gone, had a similar thing with an ex girlfriend, while I was with her I took it very much for granted, now that's she's gone, the perspectives completely flipped.
However another possibility, depending on the tone and the mood of the conversation could be that he's not that physically attracted to you. Whilst I disagree with the entire "dump that dickhead" culture surrounding these threads, if that's the case, you truly are best moving on.
Hope it all works out for you.

Reply 23

Rancorous

Very common, but can understand why you're upset; it sounds like he was pretty insensitive about it. If it's girls he knows in real life; that's when you've got reason to worry though.

Reply 24

viksta1000

tell him you think of his brother while having sex with him...that'll show him!

Reply 25

Blueflare

The thoughts themselves aren't that big of a deal, a simple human flaw basically, but for him to actually tell you is pretty whack.

Reply 26

dmz

not during sex. During oral sex maybe. I needed several people at a point

Reply 27

wactm

After several months of constant sex with one person I'm 100% positive all guys think of other girls. I know i did.

I have no idea why he would tell you though.

Reply 28

little_wizard123

Thinking about other girls is normal, but not during sex ffs.

Reply 29

silverbolt

only an insensetive idiot would tell you he was thinking of someone else

Reply 30

DumpOrStay?

I think its normal... :ninjagirl:

Reply 31

parasitologist

Original post by doggyfizzel

Just randomly call out some other guys name, and when he asks just say it was "this other guy....."

Yeah, totally this.

While thinking about other people you find attractive (during sex or not) is perfectly normal I personally think it is insensitive to tell your partner any of the specifics. ESPECIALLY if it is someone you know IRL. On the other hand, some people are happy to be very open about such things, the key is to make sure you are both on the same page before unleashing the unreserved honesty. Or someone will get hurt.

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 32

DanielleT192

I haven't experienced a long term relationship, so wouldn't be able to know if this was the case. I'd be upset & offended if I heard something like that though. There seems to be a split in opinions. Does everyone fantasise, man or woman, after having since with their long term partner for a while?

Reply 33

Charlottelisabeth

God that's horrible! I'd be really upset if my bf told me that!

You should let him know how upset you are about him saying/doing something like that! Ask why the hell he thinks of other women and not you. I mean seeing as I'm not a guy I couldn't say how 'normal' it is for a guy to think of another woman whilst having sex but surely if they were, why would they tell their gf?! Are they stupid enough to think that women would just take it in their stride if told this! Craaaaaaazy!! :s-smilie:

Normal.

Oh, so you think it's acceptable for a man to be fantasizing about other women whilst having sex with the one he's supposed to be in love with? And, by that reasoning, it's is incorrect that a woman (or man) should feel insecure as a result of their partner doing so?

Reply 36

monchouchou

DTMFA

Dump that Motherf--ker's ass.

Reply 37

Rascacielos

Yes, and I stick by what I said previously that her partner's love cannot be entirely there if he fantasizes about other women in the middle of the precise act that is supposed to demonstrate your love and dedication to a single person.

Call me old-fashioned.

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 38

SpriteOrSevenUp

Wow, he sounds like a douche.

Even if he does think of other girls whilst having sex with you, there was no need for him to tell you this. It just seems intentionally cold and mean for him to actually say this out loud to you, and makes it even worse!

I guess the benefit of knowing this though is that now you don't have to waste anymore time on him. You can get rid of him and find someone else who appreciates you :smile:

He's not worth your time!

Reply 39

HighestKungFu

Original post by Davezk

How long have you been going out?

As a relationship matures, it is actually natural to start thinking about other people whilst you're having sex. It happens as the early excitement starts to dissappear as your feelings for each other evolve but that happens in ALL relationships.

It is weird he told you this but it is very common, try not to be too upset. There is a lot of stuff about this that you can read as to why people do it.