Boyfriend thinks of other girls while having sex with me
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Personally, yes. And the OP clearly believes that she's having sex with someone she loves, and who loves her back, otherwise she wouldn't be so upset.
Original post by monchouchou
dtmfa
dump that motherf--ker's ass.
dump that motherf--ker's ass.
hellllll yeahhhhhh!
+rep
Original post by HighestKungFu
I agree, it's quite common in long term relationships. It's better than him actually cheating though right? He is being kind not unkind.
Personally I think it's cruel that he told her he thinks of other women.
It's like a big slap in the face like you're not good enough anymore, he needs to get off on thinking about other girls. It's not as bad as cheating, but in his mind he basically is even though he physically isn't cheating.
Call me old fashioned but if you're in love with someone and you're having sex with them to demonstrate your love the only one you should be thinking about is that one person.
I do the same. I think of Susan Boyle so I don't prejaculate.
Original post by Anonymous
It makes me feel really crap and upset. Yes, he did actually tell me this.
Is it normal?
Is it normal?
Ohh... is this the boyfriend that put up a post based on having sex with his gf but thinking of other girls whilst doing so?
Well then. This is interesting.
ok a few things;
I know friends who have thought of other people for various reasons and I will give a mature answer instead of, "OMG WHAT A DICK !!!"
it could be ...
* men are used to watching porn, i.e. watching lots of different girls so maybe he is getting bored of the same old
* who does he think of? celebs? people you know? his ex?
* relating to the last * , if he has only had sex once it's natural to think of your ex, at least for a while
* then of course the "he doesn't find you arousing" enough. that's not to say he doesn't find you attractive, as some girls are pretty and nice to look at, but it just feels weird thinking of them in a sexy/slutty way
I know friends who have thought of other people for various reasons and I will give a mature answer instead of, "OMG WHAT A DICK !!!"
it could be ...
* men are used to watching porn, i.e. watching lots of different girls so maybe he is getting bored of the same old
* who does he think of? celebs? people you know? his ex?
* relating to the last * , if he has only had sex once it's natural to think of your ex, at least for a while
* then of course the "he doesn't find you arousing" enough. that's not to say he doesn't find you attractive, as some girls are pretty and nice to look at, but it just feels weird thinking of them in a sexy/slutty way
It was wrong of him to tell you but yes, i expect it is very normal
Lmao that is a pretty harsh thing to say. I think you should cheat on him 
Don't be silly 
How you do it makes no difference at all, but the thoughts behind it should still be focused on the two of you, not someone else, if you're doing it for love.
If you're doing it for the sex alone then you have no leg to stand on if you complain that your partner's thoughts are elsewhere.
How you do it makes no difference at all, but the thoughts behind it should still be focused on the two of you, not someone else, if you're doing it for love.
If you're doing it for the sex alone then you have no leg to stand on if you complain that your partner's thoughts are elsewhere.
Original post by Dekota-XS
Why is it normal for a guy to think of other girls while having sex with the girl he loves? So I guess people are just getting into each others beds for the sake of losing their virginity...
Agreed. And if it is normal, then I have lost all faith in society.
Original post by NeonSkies
Call me old fashioned but if you're in love with someone and you're having sex with them to demonstrate your love the only one you should be thinking about is that one person.
I totally agree with you. People don't understand the difference between having sex with the one you love to demonstrate your love and having sex just for the sake of sex.
If you're with that person and are in a serious, loving and long term relationship it shouldn't be the latter.
Original post by Anonymous
It makes me feel really crap and upset. Yes, he did actually tell me this.
Is it normal?
Is it normal?
Shout someone else's name, eyes shut, before faking the most powerful orgasm ever.
_Kar.
Maybe some blokes do that but the majority don't do that, I would talk to him about your feelings and that you don't like it, if he loves you then surely he would think of you not other girls
Original post by angger
It's normal that she thinks of other girls (i.e. celebrities,) but it's weird that he told you that.
A mate of mine did with one girlfriend but never told her. In fact he ended the relationship shortly afterwards as she seemed anxious to get him up the aisle.
Personal, much?
I don't see how it matters whether you have wild sex up a tree, passionate sex in a car, first time, gentle sex in a bed or any other kind of sex. If you're doing it for love, then you should be focused on your partner alone. Unless, of course, you're under the impression that 'making love' is only boring sex that happens between a nuptual sheet, in which case, I can assure you that you're wrong.
If you're having sex during a one night stand or with someone you only met a week ago, then it's unreasonable to expect that they won't be fantasising about someone else.
I don't see how it matters whether you have wild sex up a tree, passionate sex in a car, first time, gentle sex in a bed or any other kind of sex. If you're doing it for love, then you should be focused on your partner alone. Unless, of course, you're under the impression that 'making love' is only boring sex that happens between a nuptual sheet, in which case, I can assure you that you're wrong.
If you're having sex during a one night stand or with someone you only met a week ago, then it's unreasonable to expect that they won't be fantasising about someone else.
(edited 13 years ago)
Original post by NeonSkies
Personally I think it's cruel that he told her he thinks of other women.
It's like a big slap in the face like you're not good enough anymore, he needs to get off on thinking about other girls. It's not as bad as cheating, but in his mind he basically is even though he physically isn't cheating.
Call me old fashioned but if you're in love with someone and you're having sex with them to demonstrate your love the only one you should be thinking about is that one person.
It's like a big slap in the face like you're not good enough anymore, he needs to get off on thinking about other girls. It's not as bad as cheating, but in his mind he basically is even though he physically isn't cheating.
Call me old fashioned but if you're in love with someone and you're having sex with them to demonstrate your love the only one you should be thinking about is that one person.
My thoughts entirely.
No, I don't study philosophy.
And secondly, I didn't actually say that you said gentle sex was boring - that was simply what I inferred from your argument and felt the need to mention that it wasn't, just in case.
Yes, you cannot directly compare actions to emotions, but the OP's question isn't really that complicated and I'm not willing to go into the nitty gritty of it. Obviously we have different standards, but I would personally expect a partner with whom I was in love and who loved me back, to concentrate on me when we're having sex. Is that really too much to ask?
And secondly, I didn't actually say that you said gentle sex was boring - that was simply what I inferred from your argument and felt the need to mention that it wasn't, just in case.
Yes, you cannot directly compare actions to emotions, but the OP's question isn't really that complicated and I'm not willing to go into the nitty gritty of it. Obviously we have different standards, but I would personally expect a partner with whom I was in love and who loved me back, to concentrate on me when we're having sex. Is that really too much to ask?
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