Dating- to let him pay or not?

Poll

Should the guy pay for the first date?

So this guy wants to take me out on a dinner date, and he's also insisting that he pays as he feels it's the right way to be and that he wants to be a gentleman. I keep telling him I'd rather pay for myself as I'd feel terribly guilty and also I sort of feel like something is 'expected' of me if I let a guy pay and it's like extra pressure. But he says he just wants to take me out! Not sure whether to give in or not.
What do you think?

Edit: I am only talking about the first date. He is a friend of a friend and we've met twice and talked online for quite a while.

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 1

kristinaalovesu

15

If he insist to pay then let him pay and tell him the next time you go out together you're the next one to pay.

Reply 2

didgeridoo12uk

16

advice from a guy... if he's insisting on paying, let him pay on the condition you pay next time

EDIT: massively beaten to it.

Reply 3

Gap4

3

You women are so sexist and nickpick everything about having more rights if it suits you.

Yo expect the man to pay for your meals and your fine when he does
But when theres a board of directors on 250k a year thats all male you all rageeeeeeeeeeee

Reply 4

Iorek

13

Let him pay....... don't forget to give him dessert after that.

Reply 5

Dude Where's My Username

15

Pay half and half. It's not 1940 anymore. Potential partners are supposed to impress each other, not just him impress her.

Reply 6

0906079

Say you won't go out with him if he doesn't let you pay. He won't insist then.

Reply 7

kopite493

18

god this annoys me im sick of girls saying they feel like something is expected when they let the lad pay

its called chivalry, yes believe it or not it isnt dead,

you ever thought how the lad would feel you paying for your own meal i know id feel like a jerk iff it was me

if he expects you to do something afterwards and you dont want to then you saved yourself the problem of finding out hes a ******* later...

Reply 8

missaphrodite

OP

15

Original post by Dude Where's My Username

Pay half and half. It's not 1940 anymore. Potential partners are supposed to impress each other, not just him impress her.

Yes, this is what concerns me. On the other hand, it would be really nice of him. It's so awkward :s-smilie:

Reply 9

JGR

9

If he insists on paying the first time, just accept and be grateful.

Don't expect him to make a habit of it though.

Reply 10

sil3nt_cha0s

16

Let him pay for this dinner and everything else in future. :h:

Reply 11

wer343lit

11

The poll you have posted is quite weird, IMO.

You should let him pay because he wants to pay. :smile:

I don't think girls should expect the guy to pay for them both, but if he wants to, you should let him.

Reply 12

missaphrodite

OP

15

Original post by kopite493

god this annoys me im sick of girls saying they feel like something is expected when they let the lad pay

its called chivalry, yes believe it or not it isnt dead,

you ever thought how the lad would feel you paying for your own meal i know id feel like a jerk iff it was me

if he expects you to do something afterwards and you dont want to then you saved yourself the problem of finding out hes a ******* later...

I don't necessarily feel like he expects me to do something...
I can't explain it. I know this particular guy is not just trying to get me to sleep with him.
I have known other ones weren't either. But it made me feel uncomfortable in a way I can't explain. I was in a relationship once where he paid for EVERYTHING all the time, and drove me everywhere, and I had no money and couldn't drive (high school), so I always felt sort of...indebted to him and guilty.

Reply 13

Dekota-XS

2

Don't let him pay! You're an adult and out of self respect, you should pay for yourself.

Reply 14

kopite493

18

Original post by missaphrodite

I don't necessarily feel like he expects me to do something...
I can't explain it. I know this particular guy is not just trying to get me to sleep with him.
I have known other ones weren't either. But it made me feel uncomfortable in a way I can't explain. I was in a relationship once where he paid for EVERYTHING all the time, and drove me everywhere, and I had no money and couldn't drive (high school), so I always felt sort of...indebted to him and guilty.

well don't he's either being nice in which case you let him pay for the first date
or he'll turn out to be an ******* and this way you havn't payed to spend time with a dick

Reply 15

Remy

Original post by missaphrodite

So this guy wants to take me out on a dinner date, and he's also insisting that he pays as he feels it's the right way to be and that he wants to be a gentleman. I keep telling him I'd rather pay for myself as I'd feel terribly guilty and also I sort of feel like something is 'expected' of me if I let a guy pay and it's like extra pressure. But he says he just wants to take me out! Not sure whether to give in or not.
What do you think?

Never pay for yourself if you are with a guy ...i mean with a guy on a date /bf/ husband etc.
Couse all this equality stuff is grate but it really spoiled western men in a sense what now they dont do anything what guys should do.
He has to pay. Couse its how things work if a guy takes a girl out. You shouldn't feel guilty and you shouldn't feel like something is expected of you. Him paying fo your food ect doesn't mean you have to pay him back with sex.
I think girls who pay for themselves just spoil it all for the rest of us.
I moved to UK from Russia 4 years ago. And back at home it would be just the biggest offence ever if a guy took a girl out and didn't pay for her. Even male friends often pay for female friends in a cafes etc.
In uk i was shocked how many guys offer you to split the bill etc. Now i kinda got used to it. But i would never date a guy like that. Couse i find it very rude.

You are very lucky to find a guy like that.

Reply 16

Anonymous #1

She is going to eat out of the guys pocket.

Reply 17

Fumi

10

I would definitely pay for half of it or pay for the next date if I didn't have enough money at the time.

Reply 18

missaphrodite

OP

15

Original post by Fumi

I would definitely pay for half of it or pay for the next date if I didn't have enough money at the time.

I would definitely pay in this instance, the problem being I don't have any money and I think it's unfair for my parents to have to pay for my date (as in, the evening itself).

Reply 19

W0bble

Original post by Gap4

You women are so sexist and nickpick everything about having more rights if it suits you.

Yo expect the man to pay for your meals and your fine when he does
But when theres a board of directors on 250k a year thats all male you all rageeeeeeeeeeee

Errrr...even though both the women above you were not in favour of the man paying for meals?

Dating- to let him pay or not?

Should the guy pay for the first date?

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