Dating- to let him pay or not?

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Reply 20

Anonymous #1

The girl is out of pocket and hasn't got money for food so she's resorted to dates. Great stuff.

Reply 21

missaphrodite

Original post by Anonymous

The girl is out of pocket and hasn't got money for food so she's resorted to dates. Great stuff.

Hahahaha!
No, I'm at home during the Easter holidays from uni. My parents are providing everything I need since I ran out of money at the end of term.

Reply 22

wer343lit

Original post by Remy

Never pay for yourself if you are with a guy ...i mean with a guy on a date /bf/ husband etc.
Couse all this equality stuff is grate but it really spoiled western men in a sense what now they dont do anything what guys should do.He has to pay. Couse its how things work if a guy takes a girl out. You shouldn't feel guilty and you shouldn't feel like something is expected of you. Him paying fo your food ect doesn't mean you have to pay him back with sex.
I think girls who pay for themselves just spoil it all for the rest of us.
I moved to UK from Russia 4 years ago. And back at home it would be just the biggest offence ever if a guy took a girl out and didn't pay for her. Even male friends often pay for female friends in a cafes etc.
In uk i was shocked how many guys offer you to split the bill etc. Now i kinda got used to it. But i would never date a guy like that. Couse i find it very rude.

You are very lucky to find a guy like that.

Course all this equality stuff is great, but it really spoiled women... They want to work and get paid, and not just stay in the kitchen, and they want to have equal rights with men?!

Seriously, I'm really shocked that anyone actually thinks the way you do. Men aren't "meant" to pay for women any more than women are meant to stay in the kitchen and not get a job.

Male friends pay for female friends in Russia? Wtf?! What logical reason is there for that?

Reply 23

No Future

It's one date, it's not that big a deal. OP, I think you are overthinking this.

Reply 24

Stargazer23

If he insists.. let him pay? But offer again at the time, and say you want to pay (at least some) next time.

Reply 25

-Neon-

Hmmm
I think it should go like this:
Girl: Oh, I'll pay for mine.
Guy: Nah, its ok, ill pay for you. You can get me back some other time.......means I'll get to see you again too. *smiles*
Girl: *smiles*

Reply 26

missaphrodite

Okay so...since I'm already borrowing money off my parents to get the train to where he wants to go and back, I've agreed to let him pay, and I'll pay 'next time' :smile:

Reply 27

Gwalchgwyn

To a guy (speaking as one), it feels good to prove to a woman you can provide for her - paying for a meal just feels manly and as though it would impress a girl. Let him pay - itll make him happy. If you end up going half and half or pay for the next meal it makes him feel less masculine.

Reply 28

rmhumphries

Let him pay for the first date, but then if the date goes well, take him out and pay for the second date, if it doesn't go well, and so you remain just friends, pay for him at some point when at an activity that is just friendly and/or has others. You are even, and you allow the guy to pay for the first date, which I try to enforce.

Reply 29

tite23

Original post by missaphrodite

Okay so...since I'm already borrowing money off my parents to get the train to where he wants to go and back, I've agreed to let him pay, and I'll pay 'next time' :smile:

Good choice :smile:

Reply 30

Remy

Original post by Jonty99

Well i would be happy enough to stay at home in the kitchen and looking after kids. And maybe its is going to be so later in my life.

The thing is now many guys expect their women to work ...be independent etc.
And society in general looks down on you if you are an unemployed housewife.

All i say is what yeah we should have same LEGAL rights. But men and women are different. Our social roles are different. And i think it should stay that way.

I want to have enough time to spend with my kids. Family etc. And i want a husband who can adequately support this family, make decisions etc. Not a pussy as many guys are nowadays.

p.s guy friends pay for girls couse its considered nice and polite. there is no logical reason. obviously not all guys and not always. but if a guy-friend can afford it he usually will.

Reply 31

amtvp

A bit gauche/crass to be discussing payment for the meal prior to your date?

I believe men and women are equal, so when I'm on a date with someone my age(ish) then I insist we split the bill.

When I've been on a date with someone quite a bit older, earning a hefty salary, then I have let him pay - because our financial situations are clearly inequal. Though I did cursorily offer.

Reply 32

TotoMimo

As a guy, I personally insist on paying for the first date out of politeness. However, if the girl absolutely defies this and wants to pay half, that isn't a problem; it's all about finding what is most comfortable for that individual.

It's genuinely me trying to be chivalrous, not "flashing the cash". It's me saying "I'm appreciative of this experience with you" by paying for it. But if you personally are uncomfortable with it, I won't contest it if you want to pay half. First dates are all about understanding and acceptance, and the whole "who pays" thing is one of the elements that stresses that fact!

Let him pay

My general rule of thumb is... if he asks, he pays. If I ask him out, I pay... :smile:

(For the first date)
2nd date onwards, it's splits

Reply 35

steve collins

it's pretty simple, offer to pay for yourself, if he insists 3 times, let him pay, pointless arguing about it, but at least show willing to pull your weight...

Reply 36

strawberry

if he's a fellow student, I split the bill. sometimes he would insist, especially on the first date, and I don't mind. If he's working, I'm a little more relaxed about him paying (I'm still a student) - of course, I still pay occasionally

Reply 37

dirtyoldriver

Let him for the first time, he clearly wants to do it, but if there are future dates then insist on going halves. That way he's had his go at taking you out and you don't have to feel too guilty if it's not a recurring pattern :smile:

edit: tis sorted, must read threads.

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 38

Ultimate_Geek

If he desperately wants to pay let him if you don't feel weird about it. I was told as long as you don't expect the bloke to pay then they generally don't mind.

However, I hate being paid for and would much rather split a bill as I do feel pressurised.

Reply 39

Sophie_girl

Just let him pay! I think it's incredibly rude to continue to refuse to let him after he's insisted. I always offer to go halves, and if they say no then you let them pay and leave it at that - it's only a date, why should money be made into a huge issue?
Some guys like to treat their girl.