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Very unhappy at Oxford :(
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LEAVE.
You're not wrong to hate the environment you're in, and if you think you'd do better somewhere else, that's what you should do. There have been a few people on this site who have been in your position, didn't feel it was worth staying solely for university reputation, and went on to do well at other universities. 5 years down the line, no one is going to care whether you went to Oxford or Birmingham.
Remember that your university is just one line on a CV. Better to go somewhere where you can be happy and do well rather than sticking out 2 more years at Oxford just to have an impressive alma mater.
You're not wrong to hate the environment you're in, and if you think you'd do better somewhere else, that's what you should do. There have been a few people on this site who have been in your position, didn't feel it was worth staying solely for university reputation, and went on to do well at other universities. 5 years down the line, no one is going to care whether you went to Oxford or Birmingham.
Remember that your university is just one line on a CV. Better to go somewhere where you can be happy and do well rather than sticking out 2 more years at Oxford just to have an impressive alma mater.
(edited 13 years ago)
Original post by Mann18
Depends what they're studying to be fair.
If it's Law, it's not that big a jump at all.
If it's Law, it's not that big a jump at all.
I wouldn't feed this one Mann
A few phone calls to Birmingham Uni and you're in - as long as you make your mind up quickly? Hmm..plus, no replies from the OP, esp. to the 'which college' question. Hmmm..
(edited 13 years ago)
Suicide rates are actually quite high at Oxford and Cambridge, I wonder if this is a contributory factor (it's most likely the workload but it could be).
You're from a different world to most of them. Class distinction in England is still strikingly strong, and many of the Oxford types are simply from a completely different world. It may be a case of either conforming to their way of thinking and thus faking your way through university, or switch ingto Birmingham and enjoying yourself better amongst a more mixed group of individuals.
In all honesty I think Oxford is a bastion of everything that is wrong with this country. I much prefer Cambridge which is moving with the times.
P.S. The next time a pompous conceited little **** sits down next to you and lectures you on how **** Carlsberg is and that girls should drink wine, punch the ****ing **** in the face for me please. Thanks.
You're from a different world to most of them. Class distinction in England is still strikingly strong, and many of the Oxford types are simply from a completely different world. It may be a case of either conforming to their way of thinking and thus faking your way through university, or switch ingto Birmingham and enjoying yourself better amongst a more mixed group of individuals.
In all honesty I think Oxford is a bastion of everything that is wrong with this country. I much prefer Cambridge which is moving with the times.
P.S. The next time a pompous conceited little **** sits down next to you and lectures you on how **** Carlsberg is and that girls should drink wine, punch the ****ing **** in the face for me please. Thanks.
(edited 13 years ago)
I go to a private school and it's funny because i've felt like that at my 6th form.. literally counting the days when i can leave!
but i started speaking to other people and now i have a lovely group of friends... literally only got a few months left but its nice!
I know its completely different because i'm not at uni yet, but i would either move colleges or find some other people to talk to.. put yourself out there
Not everyone who goes to private school is horrible and snobby.. i like to think i'm quite nice
i wouldn't throw away Oxford when you've clearly worked so hard to get there, but it is important that you are happy. see if you can move colleges and if not then maybe consider starting next year at Birmingham good luck!
but i started speaking to other people and now i have a lovely group of friends... literally only got a few months left but its nice!
I know its completely different because i'm not at uni yet, but i would either move colleges or find some other people to talk to.. put yourself out there
Not everyone who goes to private school is horrible and snobby.. i like to think i'm quite nice
i wouldn't throw away Oxford when you've clearly worked so hard to get there, but it is important that you are happy. see if you can move colleges and if not then maybe consider starting next year at Birmingham
good luck!Original post by jismith1989
Whoever made the first one was obviously ignorant of the fact that most people in England have traditionally pronounced A short (and however it's pronounced is mere spittle in the grand scheme of things): Shakespeare certainly wouldn't have said "darnce".
Have they really? I am from Yorkshire and everyone up here says words such as 'bath', 'glass', 'cast' etc. with a short 'a'. In fact, if you're in the pub and you hear someone say 'glarse' or 'baaath' for 'bath' and 'glass', then everyone in the pub knows they've got a southerner amongst them and will promptly nosy around to find the person speaking. It works both ways actually as I know many Yorkshire folk who loathe it because they associate it with arrogance and 'toffs' and general North/South divide. Quite silly.
Original post by shoshin
I wouldn't feed this one Mann A few phone calls to Birmingham Uni and you're in - as long as you make your mind up quickly? Hmm..
plus, no replies from the OP, esp. to the 'which college' question. Hmmm..
A few phone calls to Birmingham Uni and you're in - as long as you make your mind up quickly? Hmm..plus, no replies from the OP, esp. to the 'which college' question. Hmmm..
I wouldn't discount their testimony, it's not outside the realms of plausibility at any rate.
No replies may be due to reading/gone offline?
+1 to counter a stupid neg.
Would it be possible to wait until after you get your exams results? If you do really well, would it possible to ask to switch to another college? My college is really cliquey as well and it is quite irritating, though I've not heard anything snobby like that. No doubt it's just bad luck: being in the wrong college in the wrong year.
Original post by HighestKungFu
I much prefer Cambridge which is moving with the times.
By employing the A* grade which panders heavily to privately schooled students?
Yeah, real visionary.
At least Oxford try and level playing fields, LNATs ect.
I phoned Birmingham up and explained my situation to the Head of Admissions. I spoke to the Senior Tutor at my college at Oxford as well. Birmingham told me to send my UCAS form and they would give me an offer. That's what I did. The reason I have to make my mind up quickly now is for Student Finance reasons.
I'd rather not say what college but my college is one of the smallest in the university. It's very insular and people tend to just mix with each other.
I am glad some people here don't think leaving Oxford is such a stupid idea though. I certainly had many illusions and really built up my hopes before I came. I came expecting to have the best three years of my life and to make friends easily.
There is another boy that is quite similar to me I think but he's rusticating. I've heard the others talking about him behind his back many a time though. I think being a small college makes it really cliquey.
There's no option for living out in second or third years.
I'd rather not say what college but my college is one of the smallest in the university. It's very insular and people tend to just mix with each other.
I am glad some people here don't think leaving Oxford is such a stupid idea though. I certainly had many illusions and really built up my hopes before I came. I came expecting to have the best three years of my life and to make friends easily.
There is another boy that is quite similar to me I think but he's rusticating. I've heard the others talking about him behind his back many a time though. I think being a small college makes it really cliquey.
There's no option for living out in second or third years.
Original post by im so academic
No, in fact I always feel disheartened seeing these type of posts.
But it's expected, Oxbridge is not for everyone.
But it's expected, Oxbridge is not for everyone.
Just wondering...howcome you know so much about Oxbridge?
Original post by Mann18
I wouldn't discount their testimony, it's not outside the realms of plausibility at any rate.
No replies may be due to reading/gone offline?
+1 to counter a stupid neg.
No replies may be due to reading/gone offline?
+1 to counter a stupid neg.
It was either a stupid neg or that was a stupid comment by you. Let's see which.
Original post by shoshin
It was either a stupid neg or that was a stupid comment by you. Let's see which.
Option 1:
You read that as it was intended, and were warning me that I'm about to get negged:
Hopefully the former!Option 2:
You think I negged you/ thought I was calling you stupid:
Didn't mean it that way, tried to help you out
Original post by lissi08
I phoned Birmingham up and explained my situation to the Head of Admissions. I spoke to the Senior Tutor at my college at Oxford as well. Birmingham told me to send my UCAS form and they would give me an offer. That's what I did. The reason I have to make my mind up quickly now is for Student Finance reasons.
I'd rather not say what college but my college is one of the smallest in the university. It's very insular and people tend to just mix with each other.
I am glad some people here don't think leaving Oxford is such a stupid idea though. I certainly had many illusions and really built up my hopes before I came. I came expecting to have the best three years of my life and to make friends easily.
There is another boy that is quite similar to me I think but he's rusticating. I've heard the others talking about him behind his back many a time though. I think being a small college makes it really cliquey.
There's no option for living out in second or third years.
I'd rather not say what college but my college is one of the smallest in the university. It's very insular and people tend to just mix with each other.
I am glad some people here don't think leaving Oxford is such a stupid idea though. I certainly had many illusions and really built up my hopes before I came. I came expecting to have the best three years of my life and to make friends easily.
There is another boy that is quite similar to me I think but he's rusticating. I've heard the others talking about him behind his back many a time though. I think being a small college makes it really cliquey.
There's no option for living out in second or third years.
Sorry to hear you've been having a rough time
Feel free to PM me at all if that would help 
If you honestly can't see any way of the situation improving, then you should go. You shouldn't stay somewhere that is going to make you unhappy and possibly unwell.
Did you tell your Senior Tutor the kinda stuff that had been said to you? As a fellow working class student who also had the odd jibe here and there, I do think you should try to brush these comments off or stand up for yourself. I know how hard that is, believe me, but you don't want to let people go through your life trampling all over you.
At the same time, if you feel you're being victimised, you should speak up for yourself to the college. When I told my tutor some of the stuff that had been said to me, he hit the roof and asked if I wanted the guy thrown out of Oxford. I declined because he's my friend and for the most part, I put it down to ignorance rather than setting out to be deliberately offensive; so he stayed and we worked through the issues as best we could. He apologised and learnt to conduct himself better and be more open-minded; equally I learnt slowly to take less offence.
I hope you don't think I'm undermining your situation because I honestly do know how it can feel. At the same time, you'd be surprised at how many people struggle in their first year at Oxford both academically and socially. I guess if you can't see things improving though, you should go to Birmingham
Original post by 21stcenturyphantom
Have they really? I am from Yorkshire and everyone up here says words such as 'bath', 'glass', 'cast' etc. with a short 'a'. In fact, if you're in the pub and you hear someone say 'glarse' or 'baaath' for 'bath' and 'glass', then everyone in the pub knows they've got a southerner amongst them and will promptly nosy around to find the person speaking. It works both ways actually as I know many Yorkshire folk who loathe it because they associate it with arrogance and 'toffs' and general North/South divide. Quite silly.
(edited 13 years ago)
Original post by lissi08
I phoned Birmingham up and explained my situation to the Head of Admissions. I spoke to the Senior Tutor at my college at Oxford as well. Birmingham told me to send my UCAS form and they would give me an offer. That's what I did. The reason I have to make my mind up quickly now is for Student Finance reasons.
I'd rather not say what college but my college is one of the smallest in the university. It's very insular and people tend to just mix with each other.
I am glad some people here don't think leaving Oxford is such a stupid idea though. I certainly had many illusions and really built up my hopes before I came. I came expecting to have the best three years of my life and to make friends easily.
There is another boy that is quite similar to me I think but he's rusticating. I've heard the others talking about him behind his back many a time though. I think being a small college makes it really cliquey.
There's no option for living out in second or third years.
I'd rather not say what college but my college is one of the smallest in the university. It's very insular and people tend to just mix with each other.
I am glad some people here don't think leaving Oxford is such a stupid idea though. I certainly had many illusions and really built up my hopes before I came. I came expecting to have the best three years of my life and to make friends easily.
There is another boy that is quite similar to me I think but he's rusticating. I've heard the others talking about him behind his back many a time though. I think being a small college makes it really cliquey.
There's no option for living out in second or third years.
It would really help me if you could say the college. Even at the smallest, there will be 70+ first year undergrads, so I don't think that your identity would be revealed, especially as you don't have a long TSR posting history that may have given out inadvertent clues.
The reason that I am so interested in this point is that I am due to come up to Oxford in October, to one of the smallest colleges. I come from Wolverhampton and have a similar background to the one you describe. I have to admit that at interview I found all of my fellow applicants to be pleasant and unstuffy. But if you have had this horrible experience, at the same college that I will be attending, I have some serious thinking to do.
Original post by shoshin
It would really help me if you could say the college. Even at the smallest, there will be 70+ first year undergrads, so I don't think that your identity would be revealed, especially as you don't have a long TSR posting history that may have given out inadvertent clues.
The reason that I am so interested in this point is that I am due to come up to Oxford in October, to one of the smallest colleges. I come from Wolverhampton and have a similar background to the one you describe. I have to admit that at interview I found all of my fellow applicants to be pleasant and unstuffy. But if you have had this horrible experience, at the same college that I will be attending, I have some serious thinking to do.
The reason that I am so interested in this point is that I am due to come up to Oxford in October, to one of the smallest colleges. I come from Wolverhampton and have a similar background to the one you describe. I have to admit that at interview I found all of my fellow applicants to be pleasant and unstuffy. But if you have had this horrible experience, at the same college that I will be attending, I have some serious thinking to do.
I wouldn't worry about it, even if everyone in your college hates you, that's just motivation to do well.
That's how I'm viewing it anyway.
Original post by emac1987
i'd say don't leave. yea you might be lonely but that doesn't mean ur gonna be miserable. just concentrate on your studies 100% and get a first. its only 3 years anyway. i come from a uni similar to birmingham and yea i did get a job but it was still difficult. you'll find it much easier from oxford. so in summary: 3 years of hell still worth it for 40 - 50 years of your career. uni isn't about fun its about getting a good first job! if u wanna have fun go for a gap year...
With all due respect, balance is important in everyone's life. Even Oxbridge students'.
Original post by Mann18
Option 1:
You read that as it was intended, and were warning me that I'm about to get negged:
Hopefully the former!
Option 2:
You think I negged you/ thought I was calling you stupid:
Didn't mean it that way, tried to help you out
You read that as it was intended, and were warning me that I'm about to get negged:
Hopefully the former!Option 2:
You think I negged you/ thought I was calling you stupid:
Didn't mean it that way, tried to help you out
Sorry mann!
I read your post a third way! I had negged the OP. Thought that you had sussed this cos of my posts, and that you had +repped the OP to counter my 'stupid neg'. Thought that 'stupid' would have been a bit strong in that context.
Apologies, and thanks
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