I'm 18, non religious and have been with my boyfriend who I completely and utterly love for over a year, he shares my love yet is Christian.
Ever since we first met, I have always understood the rule - no sex before marriage. Never have I ever tried to change this for him.
However, a few months into our relationship he told me that he previously had sex with his ex girlfriend, of which he said was the biggest mistake of his life - he went on to repent his sin and ask for Gods forgiveness, he now see's himself as a virgin again. For me being non - religious, this is hard to understand and the fact he gave himself to another girl and won't with me makes me feel... well y'know, it's been hard.
I learned to accept it and over the past year we have done everything sexually apart from pentrative sex.
Over the past few weeks, things seem to of got more and more sexual between us so I decided to ask him what he thought about the fact we couldn't have sex. We have never spoken about it before.
He says that he loves me so much, that everytime we're intimate he wishes he could, yet the only thing stopping him is that he doesn't want to let God or his family down - I understand. Yet I find it highly frustrating when he says that he can't wait until marriage and he wants to be my first no matter what. He's getting confused about what the right thing to do is - he's can't understand why some Christians believe that even to kiss before marriage is wrong and others think differently. He also thinks that the bible is hugely outdated and how can sex before marriage possibly apply to this century!
So basically, it's a huge muddle!
I love him to the bottom of my heart, I see sex as LOVE. I have never felt the need to give my virginity away before but with him, it's just different - it feels soooo right.
The fact that he has before and is confused about what is right and wrong is frustrating - yet never would I push him into anything and the bottom line is I don't want him to go against God.
I want him to do what HE wants rather than what he THINKS he has to do in the expectations of others.
If anybody can offer me any advice then I would be so grateful, whether I am being out of order or what Christians are allowed to do - I mean so many Christians do have sex before marriage - is it up to them?
Please help, thankyou!
And sorry it's so long!