Very unhappy at Oxford :(

Suicide rates are actually quite high at Oxford and Cambridge, I wonder if this is a contributory factor (it's most likely the workload but it could be).

You're from a different world to most of them. Class distinction in England is still strikingly strong, and many of the Oxford types are simply from a completely different world. It may be a case of either conforming to their way of thinking and thus faking your way through university, or switch ingto Birmingham and enjoying yourself better amongst a more mixed group of individuals.

In all honesty I think Oxford is a bastion of everything that is wrong with this country. I much prefer Cambridge which is moving with the times.

P.S. The next time a pompous conceited little **** sits down next to you and lectures you on how **** Carlsberg is and that girls should drink wine, punch the ****ing **** in the face for me please. Thanks.

Thanks but I'm a little surprised by the amount of people willing to advise the OP to "quit now and go to Birmingham and have fun".

People told me to quit when I felt like I wasn't enjoying my time at medical school. If had followed that advice without trying to improve the situation, I wouldn't be able to follow my desired path of becoming a doctor.

Also, you'd be amazed what a change in environment can bring about. The few people on this site I know who have left Oxford or Cambridge have all gone onto flourish at their new universities.

And I know several who spent the first year unhappy and then hit their stride in second year and had a really good two years after There is no right or wrong answer here.

I'm thinking about leaving Oxford.

I've done two terms of my first year and have been unhappy from very early on. I am very lonely. I have no close friends and find my college very gossipy and cliquey. I'm friendly and sociable but most of the people in college are very indifferent to me. Some purposely choose not to include me. I find I go whole days without seeing a soul.

Sometimes I wonder whether the world I come from and my outlook on life makes me unappealing as a friend to Oxford students. I've been brought up in a totally working-class family. I'm one of few in my family that did A Levels and the first to go on to higher education.

Some little things that have happened are stupid but have really hurt me and knocked my confidence.
Once I was talking to an American student about Strictly Come Dancing and a girl standing adjacent to our conversation suddenly butted in and said "In England we say DARNCE not dance."
Another time I went to the college bar and ordered half a lager and the boy next to me rolled his eyes. He proceeded to sit down at the table I was sat at and make a speech about how girls should drink wine and how Carlsberg was the cheapest ****test drink he'd ever tasted. I've been drinking Carlsberg since I was 15 and funnily enough, I actually like the taste of it. But in saying something in situations like these maybe it just puts more people off including me rather than them realising that there is a world outside of middle-class London.

It makes me very sad when I see my home friends at other places having the time of their life. More often now when I phone them they are always too busy for a chat. I feel like I am relying on them and they don't really need me any more.

I am getting more and more depressed and downheared and I wish I had never applied to Oxford. Because once I got in I felt I couldn't possibly turn it down.

I made a few phonecalls and I have a place at the University of Birmingham if I want it.

Being honest with myself I know I would be much happier in the completely different atmosphere at Birmingham.

But at the back of my mind...and my parents... is job prospects. People are telling me no matter how miserable I am I can't drop out because its oxford.

I'm running out of time to tell Birmingham if I want the place. I have absolutely hated the time I have spent at Oxford but for job reasons only am hesitant to firm Birmingham. I don't know what to do.

Mostly agree with this.

I find this very interesting because a Non English Chinese person I find I can socialise with both groups.

I went to public school but I actually really like UK working class culture, maybe because we Chinese are all working class at heart.

Your situations are completely different though. By transferring from Oxford to do the same course at Birmingham, then unless the OP is interested in becoming an investment banker, high-court judge, barrister or something very high-end like that, she doesn't really close off any doors. I doubt the OP has done absolutely nothing to try and change her situation, and you only get to go to university once (usually).

Furthermore, this isn't a rash decision the OP is making. If this was her first week or something, then obviously the majority would be telling her to give it time and see what happens. But she's been there for a year and can't stand the place, so the best move for her seems to be to leave. "Running" from your problems is not something to be condemend automatically- sometimes you have to pick your battles in life.

You'd be amazed what a change in environment can bring about. The few people on this site I know who have left Oxford or Cambridge have all gone onto flourish at their new universities.

Hello, dear OP.
I gotta say I could end up in the same situation as you, although I backed off before actually going to university - got a working-class background, and an offer from Oxford. I needed just the three days during the interview period to realise it's quite possibly not the place for me; it just didn't feel right. I ended up declining the offer after summing up all the pros and cons (and a looong battle with myself) and picked Birmingham instead.. and you know what?

I'm thinking about leaving Oxford.

I don't know what to do.

I'd have nutted the cow who butted in your conversation about the correct pronunciation of 'dance'. Seriously.
Can you tell what kind of background I have?

I would guess that you're Scottish.

Did I condemn her decision at all?