I want to kill myself

I have truly never felt so alone. I hate everything in my life right now and no one can pull me out of this slump. I have an exam but all I want to do is sleep. My "boyfriend" is useless, he has NEVER been able to support me through a hard time, at the slightest sign of me being depressed or snappy he runs a mile even though I have been strong for him so many times. He doesn't think that I'm struggling through this with no friends, he is selfish and inconsiderate. He has never been strong for me or known how to make me feel better and I just wish I had a boyfriend who could. I want to break up with him and meet someone else because I am no longer in love with him. He is not my type of guy, in that he is not sponataneous or exciting or dreamy or romantic or supportive and to top it off, has anger problems and is selfish.

I hate my family as they are causing me so much pain. I have no motivation to do anything, I just want to sleep. In fact, I just want to end it all now and never have to feel this pain again. In a world of 6 billion is it so hard to find just one ****ing person who can get my pain and help me?

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1

Tnetinbum

Sounds like breaking up with your boyfriend would be a good start. Are you at university?

Reply 2

tehsponge

1. Dump him
2. Get some Prozac
3. Yeah, people suck.

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

It's not up to someone else to rescue you. That said, you ought to dump him if there is nothing between you.

I'm not a naturally strong person but I'll tell you I have become more capable of coping with life by viewing situations as a challenge rather than an insurmountable barrier. Once you beat one challenge what is stopping you from tackling other ones? As long as you recognise achievements you will get the confidence to know you can handle life even if it is very uncertain.

Whatever you do don't look for relationships to save you, they're very unstable and often make you worse if anything if you're not happy with your life. Concentrate on getting your life stable and making good friends and then think about relationships once you can be a decent partner yourself.

Reply 4

Mad Cat Lady

Hey look, the first step to getting over this - yes getting over it, not ending it all - is to dump that useless boyfriend, and that will be the first weight off your shoulders. Secondly, why do you feel the need to sleep a lot? Do you have insomnia or are you lethargic or do you have chronic fatigue syndrome...? And thirdly, do you have no friends at all? There's always SOMEONE there who cares for you, I mean I care about you and I know nothing about you...

Reply 5

Darcy

In such a vast world, it's difficult to find your other half but he's out there, somewhere. If you end it all now, you're throwing away your chance to find him, not to mention leaving him alone in this world where similarly he's probably asking the same questions: where is she?

Hang in there. I know you can make it.

Reply 6

becky:-)

Times when you feel like this are only temporary. Looking at the bigger picture things could be a lot worse and in years to come this low period will just be a blur. I suffered with depression at 15, and like you, didn't want to live anymore but you just have to persevere. Get rid of your boyfriend and look at it as a fresh start.

Reply 7

Anonymous #3

Don't.

You are not alone.
If you find that this relationship isn't benefiting you, then don't bother. Relationships are meant to be a two-way thing, and you have every right to be dissatisfied.

If it makes you feel better, sleep. You can always re-take your exam, so don't stress out. However, since you're not in the best emotional state, I suggest you take it easy for a little while.

I care.
Things will get better in life... Honestly.

Reply 8

csea

In my opinion, you should talk things through with somebody. This doesn't have to be a professional, but can be if you feel this is right. Ultimately, this will pass. Hold onto that thought, and please don't do anything silly. I'm sure a lot more people care about you than you think. Good luck hun :smile:

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Original post by Mad Cat Lady

Yes I want to sleep all the time and hide away from the world. It means a lot you say you care about me. No, I have no true friends. Just 2 girls who are both not very helpful.

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

Original post by becky:-)

It's so hard. I can't articulate how awful I feel. Things like "just get on with it" etc just make the problem 1000X worse, no one knows how to get to the root of my problems which have been ongoing for years although escalated the last few weeks. I haven't got the strength to do anything.

Reply 11

Enoch.

Drink some coffee, set new targets in your school life( works perfectly with me) and have some deep talks to your boyfriend/family :smile:

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 12

Potential Trigger

Part of the solution is recognising the problem and then taking action. Having someone's shoulder to cry on will only bring temporary relief. It seems like this person has a problem with her own thoughts and behaviour.

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 13

hannah_dru

Your boyfriend obviously isn't helping with the situation at all so dump him for a start.
The thing I learnt with suffering from depression is that YOU have to be there for yourself. As someone else said, no one is going to rescue you. You have to go and get help yourself. Trying to spend the whole time hiding from the world just makes matters worse.

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

Original post by Darcy

That's such a sweet post. I've always dreamed of finding the right guy but after being in a loveless, empty, meaningless, dreary relationship with someone who will *never* understand me I feel like all hope is lost. I hope one day I will finally meet that guy.

Reply 15

Tnetinbum

Original post by Anonymous

Yes I want to sleep all the time and hide away from the world. It means a lot you say you care about me. No, I have no true friends. Just 2 girls who are both not very helpful.

That's the last thing you want to do. Hiding away doesn't solve much - I know that from experience. I hated 6th form college and felt like this, but after I got away from all the people I detested and went to university to start over, I felt much better and met plenty of new people. I know how you feel, but I certainly didn't have suicidal thoughts. That's a very bad idea. What you should do is find a way to get a fresh start. That'll make you feel better.

Reply 16

soeasytolove

I think you need to get rid of your boyfriend first. He's good for nothing.

Reply 17

csea

Original post by Potential Trigger

It's not inconsiderate :rolleyes:

I understand, but since this thread is called 'I want to kill myself', you might want to be a little more sensitive. Just a thought.

Reply 18

starfish3

umm getting rid of the bf is the first thing you need to do, its the best thing for both of you as its not fair on him to be hating on him all the time and he obvoiusly is not for you by the sounds.

I do think you seem to be expecting a lot of this poor guy "dreamy" what is that ??

Every body gets lonely sometimes and feels alone in the world but things always look up in the end. I think you should consider professional help

Reply 19

Anonymous #1

Original post by hannah_dru

That's the thing I'm finding hardest. I have lost my independance and feel like I need to be pulled out of this slump by someone as I am too weak to do it alone. I am too scared to face the world, to face revision, to face up to anything. I don't know how to pull myself out of it.