Why best friends turn horrible

Im a 17 year old male, and i've been friends with my mate for quite a while. LIke we would more less hang out together, and tell each other things. It was all normal until about halfway trhough year 12, he's just drifted away. I only noticed because, i realised in college i was always starting conversations, and he was replying briefly, so i decided to stop, and he never even talks to me.

Him and my other mate plan things without me and stuff and i don't get it, i was always loyal. Worst thing was he was going to miss a lesson, and i was right next to him, and he gets up walks across the room, and tells another person who he only met this year, "tell the teacher i'm gonna miss this lesson...." How can he go from being a best mate to a stranger for no reason.
Has this happened to anyone else

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Reply 1

Nepene

Often.

It normally happens because there's no excitement in a relationship any more.

Reply 2

canthardlywait

Original post by Nepene

Often.

It normally happens because there's no excitement in a relationship any more.

I know what you mean. But isn't friendship all about sticking with someone no matter what. I always wwas always nice to them, even when were ridiculous, and would sit there till twelve on msn, when they a relationship problem, despite the fact they would never reciprocate that favour.

It really hurts, it makes me feel like never wanting open myself up again so much.

Reply 3

Nepene

Original post by canthardlywait

Platonic friend.

See, the problem with just listening is that you're a blank board. They enjoy being with you but there's nothing unique about you that another listener can't also do.

So, when they find a replacement, they move on.

Also, note. Nice is boring. Calling someone nice is an insult.

Reply 4

canthardlywait

Original post by Nepene

I obviously talk to them aswel, I'm not just a sit there listen type person. What i mean is i never was a dickhead to them.

Reply 5

Sam89

Im in the same situation, I just wrote a long email to my best friend pouring out my feelings, not I hope she understands instead of thinking im a bitch and pointing out her faults, gah it's scary, these feelings have been built over 3 years!

Reply 6

canthardlywait

Original post by Sam89

It hurts doesn't it. Thing is i wouldn't to pour out my feelings. I feel really annoyed and hurt by it, and feel like never talking to them again

Reply 7

Nepene

Original post by canthardlywait

I obviously talk to them aswel, I'm not just a sit there listen type person. What i mean is i never was a dickhead to them.

Taking control is fun. It's great fun to have dominance struggles with other guys.

Being a dickhead often makes you a better person because you express your own opinions. People find it exciting thinking about new things. Other dickhead characteristics are less fun, but the opinionated bit is good.

It hurts doesn't it. Thing is i wouldn't to pour out my feelings. I feel really annoyed and hurt by it, and feel like never talking to them again

Yeah. It's good to speak your feelings. Emotions are exciting. Going "haha, you dickhead." can be quite fun.

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 8

Benjibuzzin

Dude, my homies would never leave me. I'm too brilliant.
Stop moping, find some new bro's.

Reply 9

jiayi930829

Original post by canthardlywait

I don't think the only reason is that he's getting bored of you. Friendship becomes a habit over the time, and boredom alone cannot really change a habit. Unless he's going through some serious personality-changing process, it seems to me that he may be mad at you for some reasons.

Reply 10

canthardlywait

Original post by jiayi930829

I can't see why he'd be mad. If he's going off some rumours then he really must be gullible.

Reply 11

x_chichi_x

I think maybe the person needed some 'space' or 'time alone'. After a while, you kinda get bored of seeing the same face all the time and talking to the same person. Just give him some time (don't talk to him so much and act like it doesn't bother you because then you look clingy) and sooner or later he'll want to talk to you again, OK?

Reply 12

canthardlywait

Original post by x_chichi_x

It's been like that since january till now.
And how come i never feel that way about friends, even if i did naturally get bored, i still never showed it, i remained a friend

Reply 13

Sam89

Original post by canthardlywait

It hurts doesn't it. Thing is i wouldn't to pour out my feelings. I feel really annoyed and hurt by it, and feel like never talking to them again

Hurt isn't the word. I know what you mean, when you open up to someone so much and all of a sudden they become distant. With me it's a bit different, it's more like she started using me and putting me second best to every tom, dick and harry...

I would say you need to talk to him and see what he says?

Reply 14

jiayi930829

Original post by canthardlywait

I can't see why he'd be mad. If he's going off some rumours then he really must be gullible.

Then forget about him, mates don't drift away, find yourself some new ones.

Reply 15

tealandtaup

this happened to me before ( only when I was still a kid though).

There must be some misunderstandings between you guys; OR
you are doing something irritating to him that you do not realise.

I have a friend who is VERY clingy and demanding and I started to find her very irritating and annoying for a period. I became rather distant with her and sort of avoided her at that time too but she was very insensitive, didnt realise it and kept on with her clingy behaviours.

Reply 16

x_chichi_x

Original post by canthardlywait

It's been like that since january till now.
And how come i never feel that way about friends, even if i did naturally get bored, i still never showed it, i remained a friend

Oh, then maybe he just wants some new friends then. It's a bit of a harsh way to go about it but there's not much you can do tbh. Not everyone is as loyal as you, though it would be nice.

Reply 17

tealandtaup

make sure you are not being manipulative also **
Try asking your mutual friends ( those that are both close to you and him) and check out if they learnt anything from him about disliking you?

:smile:

good luck. I think yr a good friend

Reply 18

canthardlywait

Original post by Sam89

Perhaps the word is betrayed. Yeah i did open up , and tell him secrets and stuff, and thats why it hurts, because he obviously didn't appreciate me telling him. It's hard to talk though, maybe it's easier for females to do that, but theres a certain element of dignity involved i guess.