Virgin or non virgin, what do you want in a relationship.

I could list forever the benefits of being in a relationship with someone who has had ones before me. One of many is that they seem to be more sure of what they want in a relationship because they tend have a better informed knowledge about their own emotions and behaviour in a relationship and more likely know if they are genuinely happy with someone for the long term.

Also people who have gone nuts with hedonstic, low self control (your words) lifestyles have been there done that. I'd openly admit that I'd rather date someone like that because i'd fear that someone who hasn't had that life experience will want to get some more life experience at one time or another and probably realise that once they've been committed to you for a few years.

I'd rather someone who had gotten that all out of their system and knows that they've had enough of that, knows themselves, has met plenty of people, has met me and knows informatively (even after all 'possible' comparison with their exes that they MIGHT do) that they STILL want to commit to me. That's the biggest compliment ever in my opinion.

Anyone who bases their decision on whether someone is or isn't a virgin is a bit stupid IMO.

If you go for non virgins he'll have had a lot of time to seek out his preference. There's a good chance he'll have dated people prettier than you, by his standards whatever they may be, and that he will consciously compare your looks to his ex. He'll still call you the most beautiful woman in the world. Just as he called her that.

The continual comparisons with other guys is frustrating, especially since people tend to remember the best pasts of the past and see the worst parts of the present.

I'd be in two minds whether to feel guilty about deflowering her in such an unloving way or to punch the air and go YES, JCC SMASH!

From another thread. Let me start with some wise words from another.



That's one perspective from a woman who believes more experience is better. Here's another perspective, from me.



So, in general what do you prefer? Experience, or someone without emotional baggage? Being compared to past lovers, or not being compared?

Ah Nepene, knew it would be you! As you already know, I don't care either way.

If you have a disagreement science is the only way to resolve it.

Science!

I prefer a virgin because I don't plan on having sex before marriage and I think a virgin is less likely to pressure me.

Much prefer a virgin.

Ha, I got quoted in a thread on a lofty discussion on love and relationships. I feel like some renowned academic.

why?

I'd think anyone's answer would probably be dictated by their age. I don't think a 30 year old female would want a similar aged virgin for a partner.