The Student Room Group

Is it bad to ask why you've been rejected by a girl..........?

Please keep anon

So basically we all know that most men do all the hard work when it comes to chasing girls/asking them out. Anyway, if I get rejected is it wrong to ask a girl why she has rejected you if she has or would that just be awkward? I ask because even though, I sort of fit the tall, dark and handsome stereotype or so I am sometimes told (certainly dont think Im that handsome though), I would kind of like to know if there is any reason in particular that she rejected me, i.e physically/mentally or something I can work on? Has anyone every done that or is it 'frowned upon?'

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1
You can ask...

...doesn't mean she'll tell the truth.
Reply 2
Well she'd probably answer something like "right now I'm not looking for a relationship" (ie. lie).
Reply 3
As a female, I'd feel really awkward answering that . . .
well i wouldnt ask straightaway, if we still become mates afterwards, then i may ask her, it may be awkward but it would be nice to know what was on her mind
Reply 5
if asking gives you a little closure as to why she rejected you then fine, but just don't expect to like the answer
Reply 6
Trial and error, that's what I always say.




Results may vary
(edited 13 years ago)
I carry around a feedback form and ask her to rate my performance and give 3 positive comments and 1 tip for improvement
You will get a lie.

But of course, winners don't get rejected (like a boss)
Reply 9
girls talk. if you do this to one, soon one will accept you just cause shes too nice to say 'because you got issues' or 'because im too pretty for you'
Reply 10
I think it's best just to accept that she doens't like you like that, swallow your pride and move on. Things always hit harder once they're actually confirmed aloud to you.
Reply 11
I can see where you're coming from wanting to know but when i've been asked that i always go with 'just been through a break up and not ready' or something like that. Its so so awkward and makes me feel so guilty for just saying i dont fancy you, or you're not my type, or you annoy the hell out of me!
Reply 12
Original post by Nix-j-c
As a female, I'd feel really awkward answering that . . .


k fair enough, I prob wouldn't ask but answer me this, if a man was polite and kind and was generally decent looking and tall etc. but just needed a break would there still be a reason you might reject him if you were single?
Reply 13
Original post by Anonymous
k fair enough, I prob wouldn't ask but answer me this, if a man was polite and kind and was generally decent looking and tall etc. but just needed a break would there still be a reason you might reject him if you were single?


Depends, but anyways i wouldn't just dump someone, i'd tell them why I was, unless it was something blatently obvious like they'd hrut me badly and I never wanted to see or speak to them again.
Reply 14
Original post by Lexi99
I can see where you're coming from wanting to know but when i've been asked that i always go with 'just been through a break up and not ready' or something like that. Its so so awkward and makes me feel so guilty for just saying i dont fancy you, or you're not my type, or you annoy the hell out of me!


Yeh, I think uits best to make something like that up. I mean it would just be nice to know if there is anything in particular, Im not a serial approacher who gets rejected. I asked a girl out the other week who was very attractive and she said yes but I found out she was 17 and Im 22 so didn't really want to pursue it due to awkwardness and she was giogn away. I was just curious as I think I have a pretty big nose (I guess its not huge) but it feels like girls look at me a lot in the street and sometimes I get tempted to go up and speak but think they would reject for having a biggish nose.
They would definitely lie.
Reply 16
If you don't mind being critisised then go ahead and ask.
She's already rejected you so who cares if you make her feel awkward?
I don't think you can expect an answer if she's just rejected you. So yes, it's bad. And you may not want to hear it either.

When breaking up it's a totally different story.
Reply 19
Im a girl, and im quite honest and open, and if someone asks me something, ill tell them what i think.. sometimes people dont like that.. However, most girls i know would lie if you asked them that question and say something like ''im not looking for a relationship right now''.. i dont see anything wrong with asking though, you deserve to know if youve been rejected.

Quick Reply

Latest

Trending

Trending