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Clingy girlfriend?

So the other day I said that I wouldn't see her throughout the week as I will be busy doing other things, straight away she jumped at my throat with the 'So you don't want to spend time with me any more'

After this the tears came out and it just feels like she is trying to make me not have my own life as a previous argument came about a similar situation where I was going out with friends for their birthday. Now i realise that she is a rather clingy girlfriend and just want some advice on how to overcome things like this, or because I have let her get away with it in the past by just staying in with her or doing other things and not doing what I would have planned.(It feels a bit like she is trying to see how much she can actually get away with)

Wondering if anyone has been in a situation like this and could help with some things to say or do about this, as I've tried talking and saying other things but they just seem to spark off an argument.

Reply 1

nnnomi

She just needs to know that she can trust you. Tell her you do want to spend time with her, and promise to make time for her (and stick to that promise!). When you can't be with her, make a compromise, like say you can't do something, but arrange to have a night together when you can. So she knows you do want to see her.

Reply 2

i'm awesome

punch her in the face
assert your authority

Reply 3

username155270

She probably just feels like youre not putting her in your list of priorites. What other things are you doing that you cant see your girlfriend?

Reply 4

Young Spade

My girlfriend is somewhat like this, and it took me a while to get used to it, or rather be able to handle it better for the both of us. I'm off at college (3.5 hours away) and I don't drive right now so I can't just go home on the weekends. We talk and text all day and talk on the phone every night, however she used to constantly ask me if I could come home that weekend.

After a while it got a little aggravating and i just had to tell her that I honestly couldn't come home if I asked her too.... you have to remember that she is.... saying this because she cares about you, not because she's trying to be annoying, although it might come across that way.

I know it can get a little tiring but you have to think about it from her perspective.... now on the other hand if she's jumping at you and taking the assertive approach you should sit down with her and have a serious talk about what is and isn't expected of you.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by nnnomi

See I've asked someone else and they said that she is most likely insecure because of what previous boyfriends have done so would that possibly be why she doesn't want to be away from me I guess.

Reply 6

hippieglitter

Talk to her, tell her you love her but need some space to breathe, use the word clingy. I wouldn't go all out and say you need a whole week away but just give her a couple of evenings a week to see her and have the rest to yourself and stick to them. If she is anything like me once you spend a little time away she will realise she needs the space too. You can't live in each other pockets. I love being with my boyfriend but I need me-time and so does he.

Reply 7

leahrascal

its always better to be really honest in these situations, if you don't tell her or you're subtle she might not understand and it'll only make you resent her further. just say to her that you love spending time with her but you need space to do your own things too and she should let you do those things and perhaps do them herself, say it'll make the time you do spent together better

Reply 8

Menakshelatte

ouch she's controllingggggggg..you shouldn't have been so soft in the past >.<
just tell her openly you'll dump her if she doens't trut you

Reply 9

Nick Longjohnson

Change phone and/or apartment. Only meet her at her place for the sexxors, and leave after a cigarette and sammich.

Its the only way.

She needs to man up.

Well its not a whole week only from tues-thurs as i have alot of college work to catch up on and get done through the holidays so i would rather get it out of the way now rather than later, also doing a little bit of work on my car also. I think the problem has arised when for about 6 months we have litterally not gone a night apart from one another so that probly didnt help.

Reply 12

Janey142

As a girl, if I was told I was being clingy I would change it immediatley. Maybe she just needs to hear it.

Reply 13

my9rides

This is exactly the situtation im in with my girlfriend. After a while I just had to tell her that I do care and everything, but I need time with friends aswell. Say it not in a harh way, but in a firm way. She may not warm to this right away, but over time she will understand. I didn't like doing it but its best for both of you in the long run

Reply 14

tinshed

go do what you have planned to do without her and tell her to get used to it. I had a friend (a girl) who was all over her bf and cried a lot in public when with him over nothing and she turned into an incredibly pathetic mess because the situation reached a point where he couldn't even call his mum without her getting jealous, really it became that bad. I am sure your gf is nowhere near this bad but still make her get used to the fact that the world does not revolve around her.

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

Wow so many replies so quickly, looks like we're going to have to have a chat about having out own time to do things which we enjoy doing. Thanks All :smile:

Reply 16

NPhere

I think girls, are generally clingy, not all ofcourse... obv couple are clingy in some sense, but you need a bit of a limit to everything to make the realtionship work. Try discussing 'space' with her and say you need a bit of space to yourself and to do the things u like, other than her.... good luck!