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Your views on marriage and weddings?!

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Marriage is a contract for people that are afraid to die alone so feel the need to attach to someone to ensure as much as possible that it doesn't happen. It's the emotial equivalent of an hedge fund.
Weddings are the most boring thing in the history of the world unless you're the bride because it's the only day in her life that EVERYONE she meets will tell her that she's really pretty.
In answer to your 1st question it depends really. For me I think after being with someone for roughly 4 years I'd want to at least be seriously thinking of marriage. But say if I met someone in Uni and were with them for 3 years then I think I'd want to be with them for more like 5 years than 4 before I'd want to get married. I suppose it's easy to say all this now, but who knows what'll actually happen when I've been with someone for x amount of years!

For me the longest I'd be willing to be engaged for is 1 year. I hate it when people get engaged and then stay engaged for years. The step up from bf/gf to fiance is because I want to be able to marry the guy asap, not stay engaged for years and not plan a wedding. The timing depends on the venue you want to book for the reception, some places have a long waiting list, but as long as I can get married to the guy within a year, I'd be satisfied.

Yes I DEFINATELY want to get married when I'm older, at the age of 27ish, certainly not before I'm 25 even though I'd like to be in a LTR by then. I want my wedding to be traditional so have a big white (or rather ivy, I don't want a white dress) dress in a church with loads of flowers. I've even decided that I'd like a Spring wedding, preferably in late May.

Oh and I'm a Christian btw :smile:.
(edited 13 years ago)
Original post by Smophy
This thread is just for curiosities sake.

How long to you think is....


The question is would you have sex before the marriage?.... i mean in my culture, the engagement could have been done before the person was even born if u know wat i mean. then the next thing u turn 18 and your parents let you about the wedding which has all been planned, it could even be the day after you just found out. Anyways, watever the situation the m/f do not have sex until after the marriage and hoepfully both are virgins...
It's different for different people. There's not really any right or wrong here.
I'll tell you what we did.

Got engaged 3 months after we started dating. I was 17, he was 24. It was 2001. We couldn't afford to get married straight away of course, so we decided to wait until I finished uni.

We moved in together a year and a half later (December 2002)

Then I got pregnant when I was just turned 21. He was 28. It was January 2005. We decided we'd better get a wriggle on and get married, (screw waiting until I finished uni!) so we hurriedly planned the wedding and got married April 2005. The baby was born September 2005.

We had a lovely church wedding, which was what we both wanted. I'm Catholic, so it was a Catholic wedding (even though my husband isn't really anything). White dress, fancy car, nice flowers, 3 course sit down meal afterwards, DJ, the works. It was quite cheap considering we had the whole package (£2,000 for it all, excluding honeymoon). We had 38 guests (so 40 people in total including us).
It was beautiful. Best day of my life (apart from when the kids were born).
would like to have been together for a few years (2/3 or more), engaged for not more than around 2 years, (i'm a super control freak so i need time to plan every little thing)
i'm catholic and have very traditional views on marriage therefore- church wedding. hopefully not too big, most of my family dont live here so it'll most likely be a small thing because i agree that it's for me and my husband mainly :smile:
Original post by PinkMobilePhone
It's different for different people. There's not really any right or wrong here.
I'll tell you what we did.

Got engaged 3 months after we started dating. I was 17, he was 24. It was 2001. We couldn't afford to get married straight away of course, so we decided to wait until I finished uni.

We moved in together a year and a half later (December 2002)

Then I got pregnant when I was just turned 21. He was 28. It was January 2005. We decided we'd better get a wriggle on and get married, (screw waiting until I finished uni!) so we hurriedly planned the wedding and got married April 2005. The baby was born September 2005.

We had a lovely church wedding, which was what we both wanted. I'm Catholic, so it was a Catholic wedding (even though my husband isn't really anything). White dress, fancy car, nice flowers, 3 course sit down meal afterwards, DJ, the works. It was quite cheap considering we had the whole package (£2,000 for it all, excluding honeymoon). We had 38 guests (so 40 people in total including us).
It was beautiful. Best day of my life (apart from when the kids were born).


oh wow, i was always against getting married young but your story is so beautiful. age totally means nothing :biggrin:
Original post by Charlottelisabeth

For me the longest I'd be willing to be engaged for is 1 year. I hate it when people get engaged and then stay engaged for years. The step up from bf/gf to fiance is because I want to be able to marry the guy asap, not stay engaged for years and not plan a wedding. The timing depends on the venue you want to book for the reception, some places have a long waiting list, but as long as I can get married to the guy within a year, I'd be satisfied.


What's the big rush all about? :confused:
I am an atheist. I would like to get married. I think my parents would like to see it, besides its my guilty sentimental pleasure :P

I wouldn't marry in a church or have a religious service though.

My rule is to live with the person for a year before getting married (and presumably have been a couple for a while, well I would want to be sure). I don't set an age limit because I think it's about the person yoiu're with not how old you are. You know like people who say "not before the age of 28", and I think, what if you found someone perfect at 26? :P Stupid people.

I think people are far too uptight about weddings. I don't want everything to be perfect, because almost by definition anything that has to be "perfect" is going to be stressful.

You hear about brides who ruin their day because they cry that they got slightly wrong flowers, or their stupid overpriced dress crumples - basically because they have worked themselves up into such a state over how everything has to be perfect. And actually, ironically, that ruins their whole day because they're so uptight.

I don't think the whole day should be about the bride. It is about the couple and almost moreso their friends and family (imo)

I think the most important things at a wedding are the music and the food (so long as everything else is practical/adequate). In terms of everybody having a good time. I don't want to spend a fortune. I'm happy to go cheap as long as its cheerful.

I want my wedding to be about family and friends really. I would rather friends drove everyone around than hire a chaffeur. And those stupid overpriced wedding cakes. Not for me. Better to buy loads of £2 carrot cakes and make them into a giant cake pyramid.

All of that stupid wedding-themed stuff. Rip off. I'm not going to spend money on special wedding caterers, you could find anyone to serve food for a £5/hour at a wedding. You could get kids to do it :P

I would like a white dress. But not to fork out a fortune for one. I would rent one.

My mum could do the flowers, she likes flowers. I could do the invites. At a push my parents could help with preparing food but I wouldn't want to stress them out. Mates doing a few barbeques would be awesome. Why don't people ever have barbeques?


My biggest problem: bridesmaids. I'd rather have none tbh. Because you can't have loads of them but then how do you choose without hurting feelings? I'll just have to cross my fingers I conveniently have like 1-3 close female friends at the time and no more.


But hell, if it all goes balls up it wouldn't be that bad. I mean how balls up can it go anyway? If there is good music and food, and good company :P People have to have a good time :wink:

If I fall in a muddy puddle I will laugh not cry.
Original post by PinkMobilePhone
It's different for different people. There's not really any right or wrong here.
I'll tell you what we did.

Got engaged 3 months after we started dating. I was 17, he was 24. It was 2001. We couldn't afford to get married straight away of course, so we decided to wait until I finished uni.

We moved in together a year and a half later (December 2002)

Then I got pregnant when I was just turned 21. He was 28. It was January 2005. We decided we'd better get a wriggle on and get married, (screw waiting until I finished uni!) so we hurriedly planned the wedding and got married April 2005. The baby was born September 2005.

We had a lovely church wedding, which was what we both wanted. I'm Catholic, so it was a Catholic wedding (even though my husband isn't really anything). White dress, fancy car, nice flowers, 3 course sit down meal afterwards, DJ, the works. It was quite cheap considering we had the whole package (£2,000 for it all, excluding honeymoon). We had 38 guests (so 40 people in total including us).
It was beautiful. Best day of my life (apart from when the kids were born).


:colonhash:

I would personally hate that.
Reply 29
Avatar for topman21
topman21
8
They're underrated purely because these days marriage = honeymoon, themes, bridesmaids, best-man, so forth....

I wonder if (for argument sake) 200 people turned up to the wedding, how many would then turn up to the divorce; if things don't work out?
How long to you think is ideal to be with someone before getting engaged? (I mean, how long would YOU want to be with someone before engagement, I know it is different for different people) I have been with my bf for 5 years and I would be more than happy to get married in the near future, I probably would have said yes after 3 years.

How long do you think an engagement should last? (again, how long would YOU want to be engaged) I wouldn't really wan at long engagement, hence why we are not engaged just yet, i would want to start planning my wedding straight away and currently we don't have that kind of money.

Do you want to get married? Yes

If yes then do you want a wedding? or just sign the register?I want a big white fairytale wedding

Would you want to be married in a church?It would be nice, and would please my mum, but it won't bother me if we didn't, I'd have a job even getting my bf into a church.

I was brought up Christian but am not really practising anymore, my mum and brother still are and my dad although not really into the whole church thing still sings in the choir. My bf is very anti-religion and as I said we would not be getting married in a church. I'm pretty sure my maternal grandmother would not be happy about me having a non-church wedding, my paternal grandmother couldn't care less and wouldn't miss my wedding for the world. Only thing is re what i said about length of engagement, the venue we wants has to be booked 13 months in advance.
Original post by Smophy
This thread is just for curiosities sake.

How long to you think is ideal to be with someone before getting engaged? (I mean, how long would YOU want to be with someone before engagement, I know it is different for different people)
How long do you think an engagement should last? (again, how long would YOU want to be engaged)
Do you want to get married?
If yes then do you want a wedding? or just sign the register?
Would you want to be married in a church?


I'd want to be together 2 years minimum but probably more like 3-4.
I think the engagement would last as long as the time between the proposal and the wedding. Normally I'd say you'd only want as long as it took to plan the wedding but in my case I have been with my girlfriend for 16 months. I'm 2 terms into a 6 year course. We could easily get engaged in my third/fourth year but I wouldn't want to marry until after I'd graduated and we'd then had a good amount of time to plan.
Yes I want to get married in a proper ceremony in a church. I'd love to have it in the college chapel here but I fear it would be rather impractical :frown:
I am a very liberal Christian.
Original post by hippieglitter
If yes then do you want a wedding? or just sign the register?I want a big white fairytale wedding


:rolleyes:

Original post by Rob da Mop
I'd want to be together 2 years minimum but probably more like 3-4.
I think the engagement would last as long as the time between the proposal and the wedding. Normally I'd say you'd only want as long as it took to plan the wedding but in my case I have been with my girlfriend for 16 months. I'm 2 terms into a 6 year course. We could easily get engaged in my third/fourth year but I wouldn't want to marry until after I'd graduated and we'd then had a good amount of time to plan.
Yes I want to get married in a proper ceremony in a church. I'd love to have it in the college chapel here but I fear it would be rather impractical :frown:
I am a very liberal Christian.


Isn't it possible?
Original post by im so academic
:rolleyes:



Isn't it possible?


It is possible. It's just that all of my family is 3 hours away, my girlfriend doesn't live around here and it'd probably be a lot easier to have the wedding in my girlfriend's or my local churches at home.
Original post by Rob da Mop

Original post by Rob da Mop
It is possible. It's just that all of my family is 3 hours away, my girlfriend doesn't live around here and it'd probably be a lot easier to have the wedding in my girlfriend's or my local churches at home.


Can you "hire out" college chapels for other events other than weddings?
Original post by Charlottelisabeth
In answer to your 1st question it depends really. For me I think after being with someone for roughly 4 years I'd want to at least be seriously thinking of marriage. But say if I met someone in Uni and were with them for 3 years then I think I'd want to be with them for more like 5 years than 4 before I'd want to get married. I suppose it's easy to say all this now, but who knows what'll actually happen when I've been with someone for x amount of years!

For me the longest I'd be willing to be engaged for is 1 year. I hate it when people get engaged and then stay engaged for years. The step up from bf/gf to fiance is because I want to be able to marry the guy asap, not stay engaged for years and not plan a wedding. The timing depends on the venue you want to book for the reception, some places have a long waiting list, but as long as I can get married to the guy within a year, I'd be satisfied.

Yes I DEFINATELY want to get married when I'm older, at the age of 27ish, certainly not before I'm 25 even though I'd like to be in a LTR by then. I want my wedding to be traditional so have a big white (or rather ivy, I don't want a white dress) dress in a church with loads of flowers. I've even decided that I'd like a Spring wedding, preferably in late May.

Oh and I'm a Christian btw :smile:.


Ivy? Are you saying you want a green gown or did you mean ivory. When discussing it with my mum she said it depends on skin tone, on some skin tones ivory can look very white, so I would probably have an ivory dress too.
(edited 13 years ago)
Original post by im so academic
Can you "hire out" college chapels for other events other than weddings?


No, members and old members of the college can apply to have weddings and baptisms of their children there, and I think that's it. It probably depends on the college etc.
Original post by Rob da Mop
I'd want to be together 2 years minimum but probably more like 3-4.
I think the engagement would last as long as the time between the proposal and the wedding. Normally I'd say you'd only want as long as it took to plan the wedding but in my case I have been with my girlfriend for 16 months. I'm 2 terms into a 6 year course. We could easily get engaged in my third/fourth year but I wouldn't want to marry until after I'd graduated and we'd then had a good amount of time to plan.
Yes I want to get married in a proper ceremony in a church. I'd love to have it in the college chapel here but I fear it would be rather impractical :frown:
I am a very liberal Christian.


My parents got married in my mums college chapel and had to apply for special licence to have the ceremony done there. I don't know if you still need to do that or whether they are licensed as standard procedure these days.
I'll never get married. Its complete nonsense to me and I can't see how men benefit from it in anyway
Original post by hippieglitter
My parents got married in my mums college chapel and had to apply for special licence to have the ceremony done there. I don't know if you still need to do that or whether they are licensed as standard procedure these days.


It probably depends on the college. Apparently in the summer they're very common at my college so they're probably properly licensed. At a smaller college it may be different.

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