Does it stop hurting?

Pretty similar, I think we're probably going through the same thing.

I hope you guys have learnt that cheating is about the biggest mistake a person can make in life! It wasn't ultimately why me and my ex broke up but it's easily the worst thing that has ever happened to me and I will never stop hating her for it.




Also, to the peeps saying anyone feeling this way is a bitch and to man up, grow the **** up, never having loved someone like this does not make you a big man it makes you a naive little brat A real man is passionate.

Cheating is bad, I wish I hadn't done it. Had lots of other factors involved though, mainly because I wanted to break up with him and he wouldn't let go of me. Are you happy in your current relationship? If it upsets you so much you don't seem like you've totally moved on yet.

Ignore those who are talking crap, guess they've never been in love.

You'll always be affected by her as she was a big part of your life for a long time BUT yes it does get easier as time goes on. Even the deepest of emotions can be conquered with time. Memories become more blurred, you forget the little things etc so things do ease up emotionally. How long ago was it when you split? With the whole photos issue etc, after having a very bad break up with my boyfriend of three years, I was the same and it took me just over a year and a half to move on properly and be happy again. Now I can see him in person, people can talk about him I could even see him getting on his current girlfriend and feel nothing because people do move on eventually. This WILL happen for you, you just have to give it more time. As always these things are easier said than done. In some ways your already half way there, you say you have another girlfriend who must care about you so focus on her as she deserves your feelings now

Despite her being a dick and cheating, don't regret anything. At the end of the day, you may have learnt the hard way but you've probably learnt a lot from this relationship even if you can't see this now. View it as an experience and learning curve in your life and focus on the future with your new girlfriend

Good luck, I know how much it sucks and so do a lot of other people.

you say that the OP will have learnt from the relationship. learnt what? that women are evil!!!? or that he just lacks the style and charisma to hold on to a foxy chick?

This is what I'm afraid of, knowing that somebody I once knew so well, so intimately, is fading away. It's not even that I miss, her I don't, it's just that feeling of loss.. loss of time, loss of life, loss of love. It just feels so tragic..

seems unlikely now, but slowly the pain gets tolerable, until you stop noticing it anymore.

advice: think of this everytime you miss her.

"I miss my ex. my aim is getting better' x

Btw guys, just so we're clear, I don't miss my ex or want to be with her at all, it's just dealing with the memories.

aThe thing that gets me through it is that the person that i cared for so much and had that special connection with isn't there anymore..,.

Yeah this is the same in my case, although I find this actually makes it harder. When we broke up I actually felt like I was mourning the death of the girl she used to be, as she had changed so so much in just 1 term of uni: stuck up, cold, passionless, thoughtless, insensitive. Wow. I am pretty numbed to it now but at the time it was just horrific to see this person you absolutely adored suddenly become a completely different person, and one that you really don't like.

This is so true for me, too. My ex and I broke up almost five months ago after having been together for over four years. Most of the time I don't want to get back together with him, because he cheated on me lots (with one of my best friends...) and generally treated me terribly when I put my all into the relationship, but occasionally something will remind me of him and I end up in a downward spiral. The other night I dreamt about him, out of nowhere, and I ended up crying a lot for most of the following day. I still think about him every day, too, even though I don't want to - but I s'pose that's normal after having spent so long with him.

Posting in threads like this before, though, I realised just how many of us there are out there. So many people go through devastating break-ups at this sort of age - often more devastating because we were young and idealistic, expecting to stay with our first real love forever - but most people get over it fine. It sounds like you're already a lot of the way there, having found a new girlfriend, and I'm sure the memories will continue to fade until they don't stir up as much emotion as before. Be easy on yourself, and yeah - remember that most people go through this at one stage or another, and they all end up okay.

Ultimately, feeling like this isn't a bad thing - it's a sign that you cared enough in the first place. "I guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all."

Yeah this is the same in my case, although I find this actually makes it harder. When we broke up I actually felt like I was mourning the death of the girl she used to be, as she had changed so so much in just 1 term of uni: stuck up, cold, passionless, thoughtless, insensitive. Wow. I am pretty numbed to it now but at the time it was just horrific to see this person you absolutely adored suddenly become a completely different person, and one that you really don't like.

At the end of the day I don't think long term relationships are as much about style and charisma as they are personality types, style and charisma will get you your flings, of which I had too many following this break up.

I have learnt not to ignore signs, I could have told you from day 1 that this girl had it in her to do everything she ended up doing, I think people are very good at instinctively picking up on personality traits very quickly and if you ignore them you're setting yourself up for ****.

Just read through this thread, I can relate 100% to what you're saying. I'm in a very similar situation OP. How someone can change into a completely different person...it still shocks me now several months on. My r'ship was 5 years long. I think some of the advice posted on here is really great though

Hey, also a third year medic here

What's worst is that the girl she was.. I would have stayed with forever.. it really feels like she destroyed something that should never have died. Love like that does not come along everyday. I can't help but feel she threw away a once in a lifetime relationship..

I will just try and build that again with my current gf. I think/hope it can be done, but nothing will ever change the fact that the way things ended with my ex was just wrong. It should never have happened, she did the wrong thing and I'm not used to people doing the wrong thing, I grew up with everybody pulling through when it really mattered so I always believed she would.. but she didn't. I still can't understand that.

I think we just have to force ourselves to connect the person we loved to the person they are now.. if we seperate them it really does feel like they died and it'll never stop hurting. If we connect them we will simply be indifferent to what they have become. She is not my type anymore, just a stuck up, obnoxious brat and that's nothing to mourn over - we have to tell ourselves they were like that all along, we were just kidding ourselves.

It's so tough going through this sort of thing and having medicine to deal with too. Keep on hanging in there

After my breakup, I came to realise that I was mourning the loss of someone who simply didn't exist any more. It was deeply saddening because I grew up with this person, spent 5 years of my life with him. But people change, he changed. And there was nothing that I could have done about that. In fact I fought until the end for us, and I'm glad I did because now I cannot blame myself for anything that happened. I suppose I feel some resentment that he let himself be changed by this whole new lifestyle in halls. But then obviously our relationship meant that little to him. So I'm not going to waste any more time getting cut up about what happened. Some things are just not meant to work out, but it takes time and new relationships for us to be able to see it in hindsight.