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Was I too harsh...?

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Reply 20

Anonymous #1

Original post by TheUnbeliever

You are aware, of course, that this is actually a symptom of depression? It's very difficult for someone with clinical depression to 'pull themselves up by their bootstraps'.

i know that, i have had depression. my issue is that they want me to 'help him get better' but i'm not a psychologist or doctor or therapist and neither of them will listen to my advice which is a) she should tell him how she feels not me, b) he needs proper help if he serious about getting better

he does self harming symptoms of a wide range and then proudly tells me but not his doctor...it's alot to handle :frown:

Reply 21

the_13th

Original post by o Rebecca o

It's you're not you"re....

YOU'RE STUPID

thanks for teaching me English.

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 22

o Rebecca o

Original post by the_13th

thanks for teaching me English.

You're welcome.

Glad I could help.

Reply 23

WeekendOffender

Not too harsh at all. He's an idiot for not wanting help and she's even more of an idiot for not encouraging him to get help. She's also an idiot for failing to empathise with you and realise that maybe you're fed up hearing her bull****.

Reply 24

the_13th

Original post by WeekendOffender

shut up, you're off-toping!

Reply 25

the_13th

Original post by o Rebecca o

You're welcome.

Glad I could help.

how about my second request? :wink:

Reply 26

The_resurrection

****ing hell. I worry about people sometimes I really do. If you think this is harsh you really need to re-evaluate your life. I'd have told her to shut her ****ing mouth months ago and that you don't give a **** about her psycho depressed boyfriend.

Reply 27

o Rebecca o

Original post by the_13th

how about my second request? :wink:

Heavy risk......

But the priiiiiiiize

Reply 28

TheUnbeliever

Original post by Anonymous

I can sympathise with this, I don't actually think you were being harsh. It might have been slightly more mature to address the issue directly, but people have their own problems and not everyone is equipped to cope with other people's.

Reply 29

Carnivores

i dont think you were too harsh.she deserved it but get him some help.depression is awful.(bipolar)

and get her to sing this to him:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49cPZFs1qS8

Reply 30

The Mr Z

Original post by Anonymous

welll i have been through depression it was truly the worst and hardest year of my life, i understand everyone experiences it in their own way, but he wont see a doctor, he lies to his therapists (like he forces himself to throw up and wont tell his doctor)
i think she is fooling herself because she tells me how much he upsets her but then acts all fine to his face. it's awkward because i feel like shes bitching about him to me and i dont like it =/
true i think she would. i just cant help them as she wont take my advice which is to tell him how she feels, and he wont take my advice to go get proper help but they still expect me to support them and they just get worse each day :frown:

Well that sounds like there's more up than just depression. Or he's REALLY in the deep end, but if he's intentionally stopping himself getting better I'd expect him to be suicidal too!

I can only suggest you come at it from a different angle. Don't try asking him to help himself, but to do it so that she can be happy.
And, maybe explain how it makes her feel. She may feel betrayed if she finds out, but if it makes him buck his idea up she'll be thankful in the long run. that's a risk though.

Or come at her from a different angle, which is to make him get better help without telling him how she feels, so that his problem gets solved and she will feel better.

Another possibility is that you need to tell them how you feel about it.

I suspect that maybe more than resentful, you actually feel hurt by what you see going on, and that you want to help them. that you feel their pain and it is hurting you that no matter how much you try to help, they are insistent on perpetuating this downwards spiral. That it's affecting you as much as them (it clearly is almost) and if it's never going to improve, it's not something you can put yourself through forever with no way of curing it.

Reply 31

Ich Dien

OP - What would you want from your friends if you were in that situtation?

Reply 32

Anonymous #1

Original post by Ich Dien

OP - What would you want from your friends if you were in that situtation?

i dont know, when i went through depression i wanted everyone around when i was alone and no one around when i was with them. most of the time i just wanted to be left alone or i got really agitated and i hated talking about myself. but they keep pressuring me to sympathise and listen which i do over and over and they ask for help and then dont listen... i dont know how to handle it any more :frown: