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Depression? Too scared to go to doctors
Well first I dont know if I have depression, but heres my story anyway and I feel like it might make it better if I just write it all down.
I'm in my first year at uni and had a tough 2 years at college (lets just say all my close friends went to different colleges and I didnt make a group of friends at college, so was on my own for most of it)
When I was at college I used to cry about once a week, and there was one time where I thought whats the point anymore? and who would care if I was gone.
So I started uni and it's been great, ive made a few good friends and I met my bf at uni, who ive been with 6 months. And when I feel ok, I feel great and happy with my life. But then it can suddenly change and i'll be crying for no reason and feel this horrible sadness and emptyness, often for a few hours until I go to sleep and I wake up and i'm fine again. I would say my crying is becoming more often, about 2-4 nights a week. I can have days where I can go with feeling happy all day, then it can suddenly change where I have nights of crying on my bed thinking bad thoughts like 'whats the point of anything anymore', and this is going to sound so bad..but sometimes I have thoughts of what would happen if I killed myself and how people would react.
I dont know why it's got worse since uni, my flatmates are nice enough and i'm good friends with 2 of them..but the rest are so close with each other and I sometimes feel so isolated..I sometimes get the feeling they dont like me. When we have flat nights out in the town, I really look forward to it mainly because I know i'm going to be drinking which seems to make me so much more happy. I feel like i've lost most motivation for my course and i'll sleep till 2-3 in the afternoon and still feel tired after it.
I dont understand why I feel like this...I have a good life, good friends at home and uni, an amazing bf, lovely family and a good place at uni. But when those nights come it's a whole different story and I feel so alone, like no one cares or understands why I feel so sad, and I hate myself for it.
I dont know if it's worth going to the doctors, but i'm too scared of what they'll say, and they wouldnt know why I feel like this anyway? I dont know if it's depression but I just want this pain to go away and be like normal people. My bf is the only one who knows and hes really kind to me, but I feel so guilty that he has to put up with my sadness and i'm worried he'll eventually get fed up with me.
Thanks if you actually read all this. I guess I just wanted to let my feelings out and any advice/experience/words of comfort would be good.
also what actually happens at the doctors? what kind of questions do they ask?
I'm in my first year at uni and had a tough 2 years at college (lets just say all my close friends went to different colleges and I didnt make a group of friends at college, so was on my own for most of it)
When I was at college I used to cry about once a week, and there was one time where I thought whats the point anymore? and who would care if I was gone.
So I started uni and it's been great, ive made a few good friends and I met my bf at uni, who ive been with 6 months. And when I feel ok, I feel great and happy with my life. But then it can suddenly change and i'll be crying for no reason and feel this horrible sadness and emptyness, often for a few hours until I go to sleep and I wake up and i'm fine again. I would say my crying is becoming more often, about 2-4 nights a week. I can have days where I can go with feeling happy all day, then it can suddenly change where I have nights of crying on my bed thinking bad thoughts like 'whats the point of anything anymore', and this is going to sound so bad..but sometimes I have thoughts of what would happen if I killed myself and how people would react.
I dont know why it's got worse since uni, my flatmates are nice enough and i'm good friends with 2 of them..but the rest are so close with each other and I sometimes feel so isolated..I sometimes get the feeling they dont like me. When we have flat nights out in the town, I really look forward to it mainly because I know i'm going to be drinking which seems to make me so much more happy. I feel like i've lost most motivation for my course and i'll sleep till 2-3 in the afternoon and still feel tired after it.
I dont understand why I feel like this...I have a good life, good friends at home and uni, an amazing bf, lovely family and a good place at uni. But when those nights come it's a whole different story and I feel so alone, like no one cares or understands why I feel so sad, and I hate myself for it.
I dont know if it's worth going to the doctors, but i'm too scared of what they'll say, and they wouldnt know why I feel like this anyway? I dont know if it's depression but I just want this pain to go away and be like normal people. My bf is the only one who knows and hes really kind to me, but I feel so guilty that he has to put up with my sadness and i'm worried he'll eventually get fed up with me.
Thanks if you actually read all this. I guess I just wanted to let my feelings out and any advice/experience/words of comfort would be good.
also what actually happens at the doctors? what kind of questions do they ask?Scroll to see replies
I would recommend you talk to a therapist. It's better to know something is wrong and remedy it than to not know. Don't worry, it's not intimidating at all. All you do is talk through exactly what's wrong, possible reasons why and then maybe do some thought exercises that will help you through these dark times. It may be depression, it may be something else. Either way, the worst that can happen is that you wasted an afternoon. And if it is depression or some other emotional disorder, it will likely help. Therapy literally saved my brother's life two years ago. Tragically, he never visited a therapist earlier because he was too scared to tell people that something was wrong. Learn from his mistakes - I would urge you to go.
Original post by The-Real-One
You should be scared to go to the doctors, it will be a black mark on your medical records until the day you die. Do you really want that? Doctors will abuse your medical history, be barred or intensely vetted from certain professions, life insurance premiums may go up.
If you are not forced to see a medical profession by threat of section or hospitalisation, DO NOT blacken your future just because you can't take crying alone in a corner.
If you are not forced to see a medical profession by threat of section or hospitalisation, DO NOT blacken your future just because you can't take crying alone in a corner.
You absolutely sicken me. I hope that this is an example of 'trolling' - the idea that people of this opinion actually exist fills me with an indescribable revulsion.
Hmm...thanks for your thoughts anyway
As you're at uni, look into what your uni has in terms of counselling services for students.
Original post by The-Real-One
Syndromes and psychological ill health are a dime to a dozen these days, these so called mental disorders aren't really real but you get yourself diagnosed with them you're just ruining your own medical record.
Syndromes and psychological ill health are a dime to a dozen these days, these so called mental disorders aren't really real but you get yourself diagnosed with them you're just ruining your own medical record.
Whilst it's true that this will be on your medical record if you talk to a doctor about it, I think this poster is going a bit over the top.
Being diagnosed with depression doesn't mean you won't be able to go into professions like teaching. It's only if they deem you psychologically unstable that it would affect you in that way, and I think that's unlikely.
It sounds like you're depressed because you have been feeling isolated for a long time. I know that feeling as I was alone for much of my time at university.
I spoke to a doctor but it did not really help as all he wanted to do was give me pills, which I was not sure about because I didn't think my depression was quite that serious. I felt like I was 'talked into' taking pills rather than having counselling because there was a long waiting list for the counselling they offered.
I have mixed feelings about doctors and depression. The doctor I spoke to was quick to categorise me without really talking it through. They will most likely give you a quiz-style thing which asks questions about how you're feeling, and you have to fill it in saying to what extent you agree/ disagree with each statement. It's very flawed because at the end you get a score which is meant to determine how depressed you are, but some of the statements are vague and I didn't really know how much I agreed.
What really helped me was not taking pills but getting private counselling - I had to pay but it meant I did not have to sit on a waiting list for months. I'm fine now and hardly ever feel down like I used to, although I have finished uni so that may have something to do with it as well, because I am no longer around all the people I feel I should be trying to make friends with.
Just remember there are alternatives to pills and doctors for helping your depression. I would see them as a last resort after talking to people, counselling and trying to make positive changes in your own life. Learning to take control of my life through counselling is what really helped me.
I hope everything works out for you. PM me if you want to know any more about my experiences.
They're mostly going to need you to explain what you've explained to us in your post. You might well get asked 'how long do you feel down for?, 'what makes you feel down?' 'How much is this affecting your life, can you still study, socialise?'.
Unfortunately, you may see a doctor who isn't too clued up on mental health issues. If they tell you you're fine, you don't need a referral to a psychiatrist.. and in a few months time you still feel like this (or maybe worse), don't be afraid to look for a second opinion.
Unfortunately, you may see a doctor who isn't too clued up on mental health issues. If they tell you you're fine, you don't need a referral to a psychiatrist.. and in a few months time you still feel like this (or maybe worse), don't be afraid to look for a second opinion.
Ignore the post about getting a black mark on your record OP, it's bull and he's just trying to scare you. Whilst it is on my record that I suffered from depression and it might be brought up occasionally, it hasn't hindered me in any way.
Don't be scared of what doctors would say because they're not there to judge you. They shouldn't be like some posters on TSR who tell you to man up. They may ask why you feel like this or what's happened in your life recently, along with giving you a questionnaire to fill out.
Don't be scared of what doctors would say because they're not there to judge you. They shouldn't be like some posters on TSR who tell you to man up. They may ask why you feel like this or what's happened in your life recently, along with giving you a questionnaire to fill out.
Brilliant troll, I salute you.
Don't be such a pussy, OP. Go to the doctor, he'll sort you out for sure. I recently persuaded a friend to go for exactly the same reasons, and he hasn't looked back since. Pretty good result, I'd say!
It's on my records that i have attempted suicide twice, and had depression for most of my life and i've just got the ok by Occupational Health to start my nursing. I'm also a teaching assistant at a local primary school 3 days a week and they O.K'd me.
My BF has alot of mental health issues and he's an english teacher
Don't listen to people saying it'll have a negative impact. What will happen is:
You go to your gp, have a chat.
They are trained to asses you there and then so they will probably refer you to a specialist or if your deemed as ''at risk'' they will send you straight there.
They set you up with someone to talk to or some pills and unless you have a serious mental health issue you will be fine.
You might meet some people who are a bit skiddish around the issue but generaly if you are up-front and honest with employers they are fine.
It's when you try to hide it, it beomes and issue.
Go get some help. Or find you local counciling centre. We have one in our city, were you can go anon
My BF has alot of mental health issues and he's an english teacher
Don't listen to people saying it'll have a negative impact. What will happen is:
You go to your gp, have a chat.
They are trained to asses you there and then so they will probably refer you to a specialist or if your deemed as ''at risk'' they will send you straight there.
They set you up with someone to talk to or some pills and unless you have a serious mental health issue you will be fine.
You might meet some people who are a bit skiddish around the issue but generaly if you are up-front and honest with employers they are fine.
It's when you try to hide it, it beomes and issue.
Go get some help. Or find you local counciling centre. We have one in our city, were you can go anon
(edited 13 years ago)
I'm not gonna lie, in some ways I agree with troll guy. Unless you feel so awful that you think you're at risk of hurting yourself or you seriously can't take it any more I'm not sure what going to a doctor could do to help. If you get treatment on the nhs, it's just quite a long process, and if you go private I've known people who have been told that they are more depressed than they are so they have to go for more £150 therapy sessions or be sectioned at the private hospitals. Not saying it's the norm, but I have seen it happen. I'd go talk to someone like a counsellor first.
Original post by The-Real-One
You should be scared to go to the doctors, it will be a black mark on your medical records until the day you die. Do you really want that? Doctors will abuse your medical history, be barred or intensely vetted from certain professions, life insurance premiums may go up.
If you are not forced to see a medical profession by threat of section or hospitalisation, DO NOT blacken your future just because you can't take crying alone in a corner.
If you are not forced to see a medical profession by threat of section or hospitalisation, DO NOT blacken your future just because you can't take crying alone in a corner.
Get lost in a jungle and NEVER come here again I MEAN IT, your totally weird, dumb, lacking knowledge, no moral sense whatsoever, no kindness towads others, have no respect, i think you are mentally disturbed in one way or other. Dont EVER give advice to ANYONE EVER AGAIN, i think your the one who needs help. You disgust me, iv seen your other posts and their revolting,
My friend thought he had depression but was too scared to go to the doctors and in the end I ended up going with him. They just asked him how long he felt down for, did anything trigger the 'down' phases, what his eating and sleeping habits were and when he was down did doing anything specific make him feel better.
In the end he got told that they didn't think he had depression and just got a bit lonely sometimes. They told him to try make some new friends and talk to the ones he had more often and if he had a 'down' phase to do something that made him happy or talk to friends and they might help him feel better.
I think, personally, if you're not happy with it just now there's no harm in going to the doctors
Hope this helps
In the end he got told that they didn't think he had depression and just got a bit lonely sometimes. They told him to try make some new friends and talk to the ones he had more often and if he had a 'down' phase to do something that made him happy or talk to friends and they might help him feel better.
I think, personally, if you're not happy with it just now there's no harm in going to the doctors
Hope this helps
Original post by d_star
Get lost in a jungle and NEVER come here again I MEAN IT, your totally weird, dumb, lacking knowledge, no moral sense whatsoever, no kindness towads others, have no respect, i think you are mentally disturbed in one way or other. Dont EVER give advice to ANYONE EVER AGAIN, i think your the one who needs help. You disgust me, iv seen your other posts and their revolting,
It's "they're"; and I assure you, I am quite sane.
Original post by The-Real-One
You should be scared to go to the doctors, it will be a black mark on your medical records until the day you die. Do you really want that? Doctors will abuse your medical history, be barred or intensely vetted from certain professions, life insurance premiums may go up.
If you are not forced to see a medical profession by threat of section or hospitalisation, DO NOT blacken your future just because you can't take crying alone in a corner.
If you are not forced to see a medical profession by threat of section or hospitalisation, DO NOT blacken your future just because you can't take crying alone in a corner.
Original post by Anonymous
Well first I dont know if I have depression, but heres my story anyway and I feel like it might make it better if I just write it all down.
I'm in my first year at uni and had a tough 2 years at college (lets just say all my close friends went to different colleges and I didnt make a group of friends at college, so was on my own for most of it)
When I was at college I used to cry about once a week, and there was one time where I thought whats the point anymore? and who would care if I was gone.
So I started uni and it's been great, ive made a few good friends and I met my bf at uni, who ive been with 6 months. And when I feel ok, I feel great and happy with my life. But then it can suddenly change and i'll be crying for no reason and feel this horrible sadness and emptyness, often for a few hours until I go to sleep and I wake up and i'm fine again. I would say my crying is becoming more often, about 2-4 nights a week. I can have days where I can go with feeling happy all day, then it can suddenly change where I have nights of crying on my bed thinking bad thoughts like 'whats the point of anything anymore', and this is going to sound so bad..but sometimes I have thoughts of what would happen if I killed myself and how people would react.
I dont know why it's got worse since uni, my flatmates are nice enough and i'm good friends with 2 of them..but the rest are so close with each other and I sometimes feel so isolated..I sometimes get the feeling they dont like me. When we have flat nights out in the town, I really look forward to it mainly because I know i'm going to be drinking which seems to make me so much more happy. I feel like i've lost most motivation for my course and i'll sleep till 2-3 in the afternoon and still feel tired after it.
I dont understand why I feel like this...I have a good life, good friends at home and uni, an amazing bf, lovely family and a good place at uni. But when those nights come it's a whole different story and I feel so alone, like no one cares or understands why I feel so sad, and I hate myself for it.
I dont know if it's worth going to the doctors, but i'm too scared of what they'll say, and they wouldnt know why I feel like this anyway? I dont know if it's depression but I just want this pain to go away and be like normal people. My bf is the only one who knows and hes really kind to me, but I feel so guilty that he has to put up with my sadness and i'm worried he'll eventually get fed up with me.
Thanks if you actually read all this. I guess I just wanted to let my feelings out and any advice/experience/words of comfort would be good. also what actually happens at the doctors? what kind of questions do they ask?
I'm in my first year at uni and had a tough 2 years at college (lets just say all my close friends went to different colleges and I didnt make a group of friends at college, so was on my own for most of it)
When I was at college I used to cry about once a week, and there was one time where I thought whats the point anymore? and who would care if I was gone.
So I started uni and it's been great, ive made a few good friends and I met my bf at uni, who ive been with 6 months. And when I feel ok, I feel great and happy with my life. But then it can suddenly change and i'll be crying for no reason and feel this horrible sadness and emptyness, often for a few hours until I go to sleep and I wake up and i'm fine again. I would say my crying is becoming more often, about 2-4 nights a week. I can have days where I can go with feeling happy all day, then it can suddenly change where I have nights of crying on my bed thinking bad thoughts like 'whats the point of anything anymore', and this is going to sound so bad..but sometimes I have thoughts of what would happen if I killed myself and how people would react.
I dont know why it's got worse since uni, my flatmates are nice enough and i'm good friends with 2 of them..but the rest are so close with each other and I sometimes feel so isolated..I sometimes get the feeling they dont like me. When we have flat nights out in the town, I really look forward to it mainly because I know i'm going to be drinking which seems to make me so much more happy. I feel like i've lost most motivation for my course and i'll sleep till 2-3 in the afternoon and still feel tired after it.
I dont understand why I feel like this...I have a good life, good friends at home and uni, an amazing bf, lovely family and a good place at uni. But when those nights come it's a whole different story and I feel so alone, like no one cares or understands why I feel so sad, and I hate myself for it.
I dont know if it's worth going to the doctors, but i'm too scared of what they'll say, and they wouldnt know why I feel like this anyway? I dont know if it's depression but I just want this pain to go away and be like normal people. My bf is the only one who knows and hes really kind to me, but I feel so guilty that he has to put up with my sadness and i'm worried he'll eventually get fed up with me.
Thanks if you actually read all this. I guess I just wanted to let my feelings out and any advice/experience/words of comfort would be good.
also what actually happens at the doctors? what kind of questions do they ask?Sweetheart, I would go to the doctors.
All this rubbish about it being a black mark on your record is exactly that...rubbish. Yes it will be on your record but that troll guy was OTT. 1 in 4 people (I think!) suffer with a mental health condition at some point in their lives...it's nothing to be ashamed of. Unfortuantly posters such as the one that said it would be a black mark do nothing to break down the stereotypes of MH conditions. In fact, they just reinforce what some people, wrongly, believe. I bet you there are loads of teachers, doctors, police officers etc that have suffered with a MH condition at some point so it really is nothing to be ashamed of. Seeking help shows that you are strong, not that you are weak.
I was lucky, I had (and still do) have an amazing GP. She accepted my feelings, treated me like a real person and most importantly LISTENED to what I wanted to do. If you do go to the doctors, see if there's one with a special interest in MH, it's probably worth it.
At the doctors, the doc will probably want to do a questionnaire. You just say whether you agree/disagree with the statements. They'll score it and then ask about any physical symptoms, loss of appetite, irritability etc. Then they'll probably tell you whether or not, in their opinion, you have depression. S/he will tell you on what scale they think you have it (e.g I was mild-moderate). They'll probably mention counsellors/other professionals that can and will help. They can prescribe pills if needed. In my case, my GP who is very lovely, decided that because I was adamant I didn't want to see a counsellor (bad experience) that she would see me every week for a while, then every two weeks and now it's once a month although I haven't been to see her this month and pass things onto the counsellor and if I wanted to see her, I could. If it's counselling or anything that you're worried about there are ways of working around these things, in my experience. Honestly.
Depression doesn't mean that it's stemmed from an experience (some people it has, some people it hasn't). You can just feel down for no reason.
Have you tried doing a NHS online test or something? That can *sometimes* give you a good idea of whether you should go to the docs or not. But, judging from your post, I would say you should go and see the doc but obviously I'm not a professional. Are you registered with uni or at home?
PM me if you want to talk about this further lovely, I'll try and help if I can. Do let us know what you decide as well.
Chin up! I know it feels hopeless at the moment but things can and will get better.
xx
(edited 13 years ago)
Go to the doctors.
I put it off for years, muddled through, self medicated with alcohol and none of that helped. It is really scary the first time you see a doctor but remember they have seen it all before. If it helps, right down the key points about how you've been feeling so then when you see the doctor you have the points you need to talk about fresh in your mind.
What will most likely happen is 2 weeks of what they call "watchful waiting". They do this because with some people their depression can lift on its own, but after those 2 weeks if you're still feeling as bad then they can start to look into treatments. Most places now have IAPT (Improving Access To Psychological Therapies) people, usually at the surgery, and these offer everything from counselling, to CBT etc.
Your dr, may want to put you on anti-depressants. If you are against that for whatever reason don't be afraid to say so. As someone who's had depression half her life i can say that personally they do help a bit, they take the edge off at least.
The first dr i saw was great, she listened to me, i told her how bad i'd been feeling, how long i'd felt that way, how it was affecting my day to day life. Eventually i got reffered to the CMHT and i now see a pscyhitrist and a cpn but i have bipolar so needed the next step up if that makes sense.
any questions feel free to pm me
and ignore the trolls
I put it off for years, muddled through, self medicated with alcohol and none of that helped. It is really scary the first time you see a doctor but remember they have seen it all before. If it helps, right down the key points about how you've been feeling so then when you see the doctor you have the points you need to talk about fresh in your mind.
What will most likely happen is 2 weeks of what they call "watchful waiting". They do this because with some people their depression can lift on its own, but after those 2 weeks if you're still feeling as bad then they can start to look into treatments. Most places now have IAPT (Improving Access To Psychological Therapies) people, usually at the surgery, and these offer everything from counselling, to CBT etc.
Your dr, may want to put you on anti-depressants. If you are against that for whatever reason don't be afraid to say so. As someone who's had depression half her life i can say that personally they do help a bit, they take the edge off at least.
The first dr i saw was great, she listened to me, i told her how bad i'd been feeling, how long i'd felt that way, how it was affecting my day to day life. Eventually i got reffered to the CMHT and i now see a pscyhitrist and a cpn but i have bipolar so needed the next step up if that makes sense.
any questions feel free to pm me
and ignore the trolls
Original post by Anonymous
Hmm...thanks for your thoughts anyway
I'm in the exact same boat.. i'm terrified to go to the doctors, and i haven't told anyone yet, have you been or decided what to do yet?
Original post by xXMessedUpXx
Go to the doctors.
I put it off for years, muddled through, self medicated with alcohol and none of that helped. It is really scary the first time you see a doctor but remember they have seen it all before. If it helps, right down the key points about how you've been feeling so then when you see the doctor you have the points you need to talk about fresh in your mind.
What will most likely happen is 2 weeks of what they call "watchful waiting". They do this because with some people their depression can lift on its own, but after those 2 weeks if you're still feeling as bad then they can start to look into treatments. Most places now have IAPT (Improving Access To Psychological Therapies) people, usually at the surgery, and these offer everything from counselling, to CBT etc.
Your dr, may want to put you on anti-depressants. If you are against that for whatever reason don't be afraid to say so. As someone who's had depression half her life i can say that personally they do help a bit, they take the edge off at least.
The first dr i saw was great, she listened to me, i told her how bad i'd been feeling, how long i'd felt that way, how it was affecting my day to day life. Eventually i got reffered to the CMHT and i now see a pscyhitrist and a cpn but i have bipolar so needed the next step up if that makes sense.
any questions feel free to pm me
and ignore the trolls
I put it off for years, muddled through, self medicated with alcohol and none of that helped. It is really scary the first time you see a doctor but remember they have seen it all before. If it helps, right down the key points about how you've been feeling so then when you see the doctor you have the points you need to talk about fresh in your mind.
What will most likely happen is 2 weeks of what they call "watchful waiting". They do this because with some people their depression can lift on its own, but after those 2 weeks if you're still feeling as bad then they can start to look into treatments. Most places now have IAPT (Improving Access To Psychological Therapies) people, usually at the surgery, and these offer everything from counselling, to CBT etc.
Your dr, may want to put you on anti-depressants. If you are against that for whatever reason don't be afraid to say so. As someone who's had depression half her life i can say that personally they do help a bit, they take the edge off at least.
The first dr i saw was great, she listened to me, i told her how bad i'd been feeling, how long i'd felt that way, how it was affecting my day to day life. Eventually i got reffered to the CMHT and i now see a pscyhitrist and a cpn but i have bipolar so needed the next step up if that makes sense.
any questions feel free to pm me
and ignore the trolls
But how do you make the first step of going to the doctor? what if they tell you your being silly?
I can't see that it has been mentioned already so I wanted to allay any fears anyone might have about a black mark on your medical records.
When you apply for a job your employer is NOT able to access your medical records - it would be illegal for them to do this without notifying you.
For some workplaces it is stipulated in the Terms and Conditions of the company that you need to grant them access but these professions are very few and far between. Besides, mental health problems in the past will be unlikely to affect you (some jobs it might but again it's rare). So don't fret - you are protected by law from employers seeing it.
Plus a final word from someone who has been through the experience of avoiding doctors for years before changing my mind and going onto medication and getting my life back, I wholeheartedly recommend you see a doctor. Ask for a 20 minute appointment if you need it to give you time to explain and explore options. As others have said you can PM me if you have any queries about anything.
- Uniblogspot
When you apply for a job your employer is NOT able to access your medical records - it would be illegal for them to do this without notifying you.
For some workplaces it is stipulated in the Terms and Conditions of the company that you need to grant them access but these professions are very few and far between. Besides, mental health problems in the past will be unlikely to affect you (some jobs it might but again it's rare). So don't fret - you are protected by law from employers seeing it.
Plus a final word from someone who has been through the experience of avoiding doctors for years before changing my mind and going onto medication and getting my life back, I wholeheartedly recommend you see a doctor. Ask for a 20 minute appointment if you need it to give you time to explain and explore options. As others have said you can PM me if you have any queries about anything.
- Uniblogspot
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