My friend is dating a Pr*ck, Do I tell her?

How is it illegal?!?

Our english class was told to record a conversation and analyse it, and a few people came back recording people on the bus just talking and our teacher got annoyed and asked them to delete their recordings because it's illegal to record someone without them knowing so, which is why telephone companies always say "we may record this call for future use" or whatever. Then again, it isn't anymore illegal than people downloading music and movies, so yeah.

Reply 21

tinshed

10

it's not your relationship and he's not your boyfriend (although it's clear you like him). messing with other people's lives is not a good idea even if she is your dear friend

Reply 22

Rancorous

13

Original post by A level Az

Our english class was told to record a conversation and analyse it, and a few people came back recording people on the bus just talking and our teacher got annoyed and asked them to delete their recordings because it's illegal to record someone without them knowing so, which is why telephone companies always say "we may record this call for future use" or whatever. Then again, it isn't anymore illegal than people downloading music and movies, so yeah.

Your teacher is obviously not a lawyer. It's not illegal.

Reply 23

Rancorous

13

Honestly, OP - I think you're a meddler and you have no right to interfere in someone else's relationship unless you are aware one partner has cheated or is abusive.

You have every right to persuade your friend to try a longer distance relationship elsewhere than Coventry as you are looking after her best academic and career interests.

But you are not in her relationship; yes the boyfriend may have acted inappropriately in the past (when they were 15?!!) - yes, you should tell her what he has done - but by the sounds of it, it has just been some flirting and some badmouthing 3 years ago. Doubtful it will break a 3 year loving relationship but it is up to her to decide what to do with the information.

Just because you don't like the guy, that doesn't mean you can instruct or persuade your friend to dump him. My girlfriend's friends don't like me - and she's been the one who has flirted and badmouthed about me - they all told her to dump me and they use any excuse - they told her to dump me when I told my girlfriend I'm not happy with her hanging out with the guy she cheated on me with - they called me 'insecure and controlling'. That's an extreme example of psycho friends - you don't want to go there, if the boyfriend is in the girl's life, you have to do your best to like him unfortunately even if he is an idiot.

Reply 24

Sazzle4

12

Original post by Rancorous

Your teacher is obviously not a lawyer. It's not illegal.

Recording people without permission is not legal. Exactly like they said, this is why companies have to make you aware that 'your call may be recorded for quality control and training purposes' etc.

As regards the OPs real problem...say nothing. She is entitled to make her own mistakes and the saying 'Don't shoot the messenger' exists because that's what people do in these situations. She will not blame her 'perfect' boyfriend; she'll turn on you. You just need to try not to hold it against her and make sure you're around to help her pick up the pieces.

Reply 25

Rancorous

13

Or else you message the boyfriend on facebook and come on to him.

'Hey Dave, looking cute in your profile pic...I miss hanging out with you xxx'

If he flirts back, or responds - continue flirting, plan hooking up 'for some fun', talk as dirty as you can, and snapshot the page and show the girlfriend.

Or go through with it, meet up with the guy, kiss, sex him - and video it - then show girlfriend, if he tries to lie his way out of facebook messages.

If he doesn't respond positively to your advantages, then you know he's not a cheater and wouldn't disrespect his girlfriend.

Reply 26

Rancorous

13

Original post by Sazzle4

Recording people without permission is not legal. Exactly like they said, this is why companies have to make you aware that 'your call may be recorded for quality control and training purposes' etc.

As regards the OPs real problem...say nothing. She is entitled to make her own mistakes and the saying 'Don't shoot the messenger' exists because that's what people do in these situations. She will not blame her 'perfect' boyfriend; she'll turn on you. You just need to try not to hold it against her and make sure you're around to help her pick up the pieces.

Yes, it is legal if it's for your own use. Laws are in place to protect privacy - like the police secretly recording people to prevent crimes - recording is prohibited when information is made available to a third party. To give an example, Mel Gibson was recorded by his ex girlfriend - this was not illegal - it would be the same in the UK - it would have been illegal for her to release those tapes to the public (she claimed she didn't).

Reply 27

Veldrin

5

If you say anything then she is bound to think you are jealous, eventually she will figure out he is a dick.

Reply 28

petitflam

1

from the history it sounds like whilst you might have noble intentions, the girl will just blame you regardless and stubbornly refuse to dump the boyfriend.

although you say you've drifted apart it might help you feel like you got it off your chest if you told the guy how much the girl had imagined her future with him and how much of a dick he would be to ignore the situation.

are you maybe a teeny tiny bit interested in the guy for yourself or not?

Reply 29

love bug

Im sure if you were in her position you would want your friend to tell you, and if you do tell her, don't worry about her back firing... she might blame it on you, but that's natural. She'll be in denial for a bit, because so far in her eyes, her relationship has been going pretty well. So it will be a kick in the guts for her, but at the end of the day it will prepare her for the heart break that has be brewing!

Reply 30

emiliee21

OP

8

Original post by mikeylfc1989

Seems to be living in some sort of fantasy in which she has the perfect boyfriend. Until she realises it's false, she won't listen to anything negative anyone has to say about him.
Based on this, you probably won't break the news subtly to her. :redface:

thanks!

i meant to say its not a bad answer btw haha
im just a bit of a douche when it comes to typing

Reply 31

emiliee21

OP

8

Original post by petitflam

from the history it sounds like whilst you might have noble intentions, the girl will just blame you regardless and stubbornly refuse to dump the boyfriend.

although you say you've drifted apart it might help you feel like you got it off your chest if you told the guy how much the girl had imagined her future with him and how much of a dick he would be to ignore the situation.

are you maybe a teeny tiny bit interested in the guy for yourself or not?

Yeah thats my main issue, over the past few years shes been very over protective of him and fell out with me on numerous occasions for talking to him when she wasnt around, which is just weird because I was friends with him way before they even met.
But recently since the banning of us being allowed to talk in private i barely like him as a person anymore, which considering i used to count him as my best friend is pretty weird. (hence why ive found out most of this stuff hes said)

At the risk of sounding like a bitch, hes the type of guy your friends with, but you would never go out with him.
although about a year into their relationship he got drunk and told me that i was his perfect girl and he regrets not asking me out when i had the chance. Of course I can never tell her that because no matter what she will hate me for that. But maybe he had feelings for me at some point during the first year of their relationship so maybe on some level she knew and that could have effected her trust in me.

xxx

Reply 32

emiliee21

OP

8

Original post by tinshed

it's not your relationship and he's not your boyfriend (although it's clear you like him). messing with other people's lives is not a good idea even if she is your dear friend

whoaaaaa i do not like him at all!! (really hoped it wouldnt of come off like that) plus if you saw him you would understand why... (its true without sounding like a bitch)
we were just very close friends at one point (hence why i know all this stuff hes said about her) but hes become a horrible person in recent times so i barley even like him as a person currently.
Shes just so in love with him and its really sad that she cant see he doesnt feel the same and I know she wont ever see it because of the sort of person she is. So i know the right thing to do (and easier thing for me) to just leave it and wait for him to break up with her
But i dont want to see her get completely hurt, especially next year when all her friends will be away in different cities for uni and she has to face it all alone.

Reply 33

venreshia

7

Original post by viola146

Leave an anonymous note in her bag or locker (if you have them). Or make a temporary email address and email her everything. That way she will raise it with him, and may see sense, and you can deny all knowledge.
On the other hand, if she ignores it then I would say that going to Coventry isn't the end of her life and she may learn some valuable lessons.

This!

My friend is dating a Pr*ck, Do I tell her?

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