The Student Room Group

is my boyfriend using me?

So ive been with my boyfriend for over 2 years now. I was in halls last year, and as he was round all the time we decided that we were going to get a place together. He agreed but said that it should all be in my name and he would pay towards the rent or contribute at much as he could....
he is here for most of the week, basically living here and pays £10...whilst im left with bills,food and rent for over £500 per month.
Ive told him that its not right and if hes here then he should contribute so he came up with £10.
even when we go to the supermarket he will still expect me to pay half is this fair?!?
I would love to have a place of my own next year...but when im basically paying for 2 people to live its not possible.
Ive tried telling him and all hes said was that he wont bother coming round...what else am i meant to say to him?
he claims hes got no money but then goes and buys a car at £350 and then a bike £200, then he waltzes over to my place and gets everything pais for whilst me and my family have to scrimp and save..how is that fair?!

anybody have any wise words? cuz i just dont know what to say to him
thanks :smile:

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Reply 1
You really need to sort this out he's really taking advantage!! Explain to him that you're worried that you're going to run out of money and you really need him to pay his half, and all of it because why should you pay more? Go for the worried apporach but then if getting annoyed with him is what you have to do then do it. If he refuses to pay then you should honestly think about dumping him or at least telling him you can't afford to live together anymore.
I'm not saying he's a golddigger.................
Reply 3
yes he is


well...bye
Reply 4
Dump him. He's shown he doesn't care about you.
You've answered your own question.
Original post by Anonymous
So ive been with my boyfriend for over 2 years now. I was in halls last year, and as he was round all the time we decided that we were going to get a place together. He agreed but said that it should all be in my name and he would pay towards the rent or contribute at much as he could....
he is here for most of the week, basically living here and pays £10...whilst im left with bills,food and rent for over £500 per month.
Ive told him that its not right and if hes here then he should contribute so he came up with £10.
even when we go to the supermarket he will still expect me to pay half is this fair?!?
I would love to have a place of my own next year...but when im basically paying for 2 people to live its not possible.
Ive tried telling him and all hes said was that he wont bother coming round...what else am i meant to say to him?
he claims hes got no money but then goes and buys a car at £350 and then a bike £200, then he waltzes over to my place and gets everything pais for whilst me and my family have to scrimp and save..how is that fair?!

anybody have any wise words? cuz i just dont know what to say to him
thanks :smile:


What do you think is happening? Grow a spine. You're being used more than a saw in an abbatoir.
I swear i'll never understand women.
Original post by Anonymous
So ive been with my boyfriend for over 2 years now. I was in halls last year, and as he was round all the time we decided that we were going to get a place together. He agreed but said that it should all be in my name and he would pay towards the rent or contribute at much as he could....
he is here for most of the week, basically living here and pays £10...whilst im left with bills,food and rent for over £500 per month.
Ive told him that its not right and if hes here then he should contribute so he came up with £10.
even when we go to the supermarket he will still expect me to pay half is this fair?!?
I would love to have a place of my own next year...but when im basically paying for 2 people to live its not possible.
Ive tried telling him and all hes said was that he wont bother coming round...what else am i meant to say to him?
he claims hes got no money but then goes and buys a car at £350 and then a bike £200, then he waltzes over to my place and gets everything pais for whilst me and my family have to scrimp and save..how is that fair?!

anybody have any wise words? cuz i just dont know what to say to him
thanks :smile:


Is my boyfriend using me? Did you really need to ask this?

If you answered yes, then you're thick as ****, but I will answer for you.

he claims hes got no money but then goes and buys a car at £350 and then a bike £200, then he waltzes over to my place and gets everything pais for whilst me and my family have to scrimp and save..how is that fair?!



Yes, he is using you. The above is my evidence. My explanation of this is that it shows that he is more interested in spending £350 on a car, and then £200 on a bike than actually helping to support financially his own girlfriend, which he is supposed to be contributing half to. Instead he pays £10, you pay £500.
Original post by Radekal
Dump him. He's shown he doesn't care about you.



Agreed.
Reply 9
yep he is using you. he better start paying his half or he should just leave, because it's not fair on you.. don't listen to his threats about not coming round anymore. sounds like it'd be for the best anyway if he's going to just sponge off you.
Reply 10
Sounds like a piss taker
Reply 11
He's not your boyfriend, what proof do you have that he actually cares about you? Words don't count, they are just noise. He doesn't pay his share even though he is capable of doing so, this means he doesn't care about your feelings or your welfare. He planned this from the start with it being in your name and thinks your stupid enough to take the £10. And he's right, up until now you have been stupid enough to fall for it.

Break up. Don't let the fear of being single or what your friends think get in the way of this. If you ever consider getting back together, make it a firm condition he reimburses all the money he should of paid you. If he refuses it means he isn't sorry for taking advantage of you and just wants to take you for another ride.
(edited 12 years ago)
He clearly is.
Yes
Reply 14
Get rid!! What a dooche!!
yes yes and yes
Reply 16
Tell him hes not married to the royal family
What kind of crappy car is £350??
Reply 18
Original post by jthlm
yep he is using you. he better start paying his half or he should just leave, because it's not fair on you.. don't listen to his threats about not coming round anymore. sounds like it'd be for the best anyway if he's going to just sponge off you.


Hi, thanks for the advise, i have tried talking to him but it just ends up in an arguement but im going to be persistant cuz it certainly isnt fair.
Difficult to chat to anyone about it really cua most of my mates are single, they dont really understand and my parents never know if theyare being biased!
urgh, tell him if hes not gonna pay his half he can get out

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