Hate uni

th20051992

I am just finishing my first year at university and i hate it there it not the actural university i hate but the fact that i feel so alone at university. I live at home and have to travel in to uni which is 2 hour jorney. I am naturally shy and a lot of people at uni tend to got into groups really quickly useually based on who they know from student living. Furthermore there are very few socities at the uni and because of living really far from the uni and the costs to get a taxi home and not knowing anyone well enough to let me crash at theres, i don't tend to go out much.

This wouldn't be so bad if i got on at home ok but i don't. I have a pretty poor realationship with my family, especially with my dad (whose sole goal seems to be to kick me while i down). I sick of living at home and i sick of feeling so isolated at uni and its really affctting my studies and at this point i just considering leaving uni and just trying to get some full time job so i can live alone.

Can some one please help i don't know if i should quit or not

Reply 1

turtlebeachpro

Hey, I have a similar problem. I'm in 2nd year...last year I had to commute to uni (2 hour journey) and it took a lot out of me travelling 4 hours a day on top of doing uni work. I faced the same problem with not having made that many friends at uni. The best thing to do is join the societies that you do like and try make friends at meetings - it's a really good way to meet new people. You could also talk to the counselling service at your uni if you have one.

Trust me, I kind of know how you felt, but I joined societies and made it home 11pm-ish at night so it was tough but I managed to make some really good friends. I moved out in my 2nd year coz my parents saw how early I left the house and how late I got back home. There's not much you can do but stick it out tbh :/ If you don't like the uni you could try transferring to a different university? Again, your counselling service should be able to help you make decisions and you can talk to your head of subject as well.

Just keep your chin up and see it through, it'll be worth it in the end!

Hope this helps :smile:

Reply 2

th20051992

sort of, i tired joining a couple of socities but there are very few of them at uni and the ones i did try just didn't work out for me also because of my lectures times and trevel it makes it hard since i either in all day or going in late afternoon or early morning

Reply 3

Shelly_x

Can you not move into student accomodation in your 2nd year?

Reply 4

th20051992

no i don't think so, also i don't know how i would handle it since both my parents have been going on about how i cant manage and that i have no control over money after going through some phases the last year or so where i have went out and spent monwy stupidly because of combination of depression and boredom from being on my own

I have tried tomsave some money but only saved a couple hundred of pounds and have a overdraft from a series of bad luck with my computor and haveing to pay out series of repairs.

Reply 5

th20051992

the overdraft is interest free but it still a problem

Reply 6

Fonix

Hmm.

It is a tricky one, but one thing is certain in my mind.
You must finish your degree. Just having a degree will be a massive confidence boost.

Reply 7

wactm

If youre not adult/mature enough to control your spending and get a loan and move into uni accomodation I dont see how you can be mature enough for Uni itself.

Reply 8

AlexAntiHeroine

Original post by wactm

If youre not adult/mature enough to control your spending and get a loan and move into uni accomodation I dont see how you can be mature enough for Uni itself.

There's a big difference between being academically capable of degree-level work and having the kind of practical skills and knowledge needed to live independently. Some people have one and not the other.

Reply 9

th20051992

i have a loan currently to cover travel exspenses and apart from one or two nights i have tried to put into saving. I don't spend money stupidly regularly or on purpose it just i see other people going out and enjoying themselves and i get pissed off and act on impulse usally speniding trying to fill this void that i feel.

When i worked i was using most of the money to cover exspense for school,driving lessons and any other costs and what was left was for going out but evertime for some reason or another my mates were busy so i would spend it on crap to kill boredom instead of doing the smart thing and saving. especially during the period where i had no exspense and was just spending money because i had nothing else to do.

Reply 10

th20051992

Also University i go to all the housing is really exspensive unless you move into a house with group it is going to end up very costly, the problem i have found is that my parents make a bit of money and since loan is based on how much parents earn it is considerale less then others and i am not entitled to any grants :frown:

I wouldnt ask my parents if they would lend me the money because i not that type of person and i know that despite earning alot they are not financial viable

Reply 11

GuidingMP

Been in the same situation, commute to uni 1hr 30mins one way and I had to take a year out after first year so I had to rejoin a whole new year, which I HATED cos I didn't have any friends, no one to talk to in lectures, sit with, have banter with so I stopped going to lectures and since my uni is in London I went shopping in oxford circus instead :biggrin:

All this resulted in me getting horrid 2nd year grades and now in my final year I can only achieve a max of a 2:2. In my final year I still didn't have a great deal of friends (maybe 3-4), but realised I couldn't let a silly thing like that completely ruin my degree.

Stick with it. Don't be disheartenned, just focus on your studies, jam in the library, do your work, maybe join some societies or clubs to find friends?

All the best!

Reply 12