Ex sending very strange signals....
Basically, I stopped talking to my ex a few weeks ago as she told me to **** off for the forth time. She has a new bf but says that she wants us to be friends. I try to still be friends with her but then we argue and then made up then argue etc etc. So I decided to give up after the fourth time and I didn't speak to her for two and a half weeks. Just to be clear, I still have some feelings for her and that she made a mistake choosing her current bf over me as he is a total dick.
So then after two weeks of no contact, she Facebook mails me. I didn't reply. Then she makes up a new Skype account with a fake name (I deleted her old one and blocked her) and starts talking to me. As I didn't know who it was, I talked to them and she revealed herself to me. She then proceeded to say that she was sorry for being a bitch and that she wanted us to be friends again. However this time, she was willing to go behind her bf's back to keep our friendship (he was the one who prevented us from talking/ being friends in the first place). She then phones me the next day (she never phones me) and we then have a two hour long conversation about our relationship.
She tells me how she misses me and my company. She misses our friendship and that she may still have feelings for me, even though she left me for her current bf four months ago. She then tells me that her and her bf are having problems in their relationship (daily arguments, she saying that her bf only pays attention to her to get sex)
Then she asks me "If I asked you if you would take me back right now, would you?"
And I just replied "I don't know".
I then ask her "Are you 100% happy with the relationship with your bf?" and she replied "No".
"Were you 100% happy when you were with me?"
"Yes".
So I'm just confused with the signals she is giving me. I've asked a couple of my friends and they said that she is either:
A) Saying all this **** to me as she sees that her bf and her may be on the rocks and trying to draw me back so I can be her back up.
or B) She is hinting at the fact that she might want to leave him to come back to me.
tl:dr - Ex claims to want to come back to me but is still in a poor relationship with her current bf.
Any input would be nice! No matter how harsh it sounds. Just need to know you guy's thoughts.
And trolls are allowed only if their posts are funny.
Sorry for the long post
So then after two weeks of no contact, she Facebook mails me. I didn't reply. Then she makes up a new Skype account with a fake name (I deleted her old one and blocked her) and starts talking to me. As I didn't know who it was, I talked to them and she revealed herself to me. She then proceeded to say that she was sorry for being a bitch and that she wanted us to be friends again. However this time, she was willing to go behind her bf's back to keep our friendship (he was the one who prevented us from talking/ being friends in the first place). She then phones me the next day (she never phones me) and we then have a two hour long conversation about our relationship.
She tells me how she misses me and my company. She misses our friendship and that she may still have feelings for me, even though she left me for her current bf four months ago. She then tells me that her and her bf are having problems in their relationship (daily arguments, she saying that her bf only pays attention to her to get sex)
Then she asks me "If I asked you if you would take me back right now, would you?"
And I just replied "I don't know".
I then ask her "Are you 100% happy with the relationship with your bf?" and she replied "No".
"Were you 100% happy when you were with me?"
"Yes".
So I'm just confused with the signals she is giving me. I've asked a couple of my friends and they said that she is either:
A) Saying all this **** to me as she sees that her bf and her may be on the rocks and trying to draw me back so I can be her back up.
or B) She is hinting at the fact that she might want to leave him to come back to me.
tl:dr - Ex claims to want to come back to me but is still in a poor relationship with her current bf.
Any input would be nice! No matter how harsh it sounds. Just need to know you guy's thoughts.
And trolls are allowed only if their posts are funny.
Sorry for the long post
(edited 12 years ago)
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She sounds very confused 
I wouldn't bother with her.
I wouldn't bother with her.
Original post by xnatalie01x
She sounds very confused
I wouldn't bother with her.
I wouldn't bother with her.
Ahaha my friends told me that too. It just kinda pisses me off that I was almost completely over her as I thought when we weren't talking that she is happy with her new bf, new friends, new life and that she didn't need me in hers anymore.
Then she appears out of nowhere and starts telling me she thinks about me daily and still has feelings for me :/
she misses the attention you were paying her.
she feels insecure in the attention her boyfriend is giving her. prob feels bored now, or like he is taking her for granted. anyway she is going behind his back talking to you. she probably wants an ego boost and wants you to 'want' her and make her feel good. then she will either go back to her boyfriend (safe in knowing she could still get you).
Or she'll get back with you only to get bored and probably ask her other boyfriend if he still likes her... and talk to him behind your back.
all boils down to whether you trust her or not.
she feels insecure in the attention her boyfriend is giving her. prob feels bored now, or like he is taking her for granted. anyway she is going behind his back talking to you. she probably wants an ego boost and wants you to 'want' her and make her feel good. then she will either go back to her boyfriend (safe in knowing she could still get you).
Or she'll get back with you only to get bored and probably ask her other boyfriend if he still likes her... and talk to him behind your back.
all boils down to whether you trust her or not.
Original post by pinkmonkey3
she misses the attention you were paying her.
she feels insecure in the attention her boyfriend is giving her. prob feels bored now, or like he is taking her for granted. anyway she is going behind his back talking to you. she probably wants an ego boost and wants you to 'want' her and make her feel good. then she will either go back to her boyfriend (safe in knowing she could still get you).
Or she'll get back with you only to get bored and probably ask her other boyfriend if he still likes her... and talk to him behind your back.
all boils down to whether you trust her or not.
she feels insecure in the attention her boyfriend is giving her. prob feels bored now, or like he is taking her for granted. anyway she is going behind his back talking to you. she probably wants an ego boost and wants you to 'want' her and make her feel good. then she will either go back to her boyfriend (safe in knowing she could still get you).
Or she'll get back with you only to get bored and probably ask her other boyfriend if he still likes her... and talk to him behind your back.
all boils down to whether you trust her or not.
I do trust her. She is a ridiculously honest person and she has been completely honest with me when I was with her and she finds it hard to give up that habit even though we aren't together.
I asked her if she was saying all of this to keep me as a back up and she replied "I just wanted to know if you still had feelings for me and if you would really take me back"
But I doubt she will leave her bf. I asked her and she said that she couldn't. I asked why, her reply was "My bf would kill me." And I'm not talking metaphorically, the guy has anger issues and is actually very violent if he wants to be.
I don't think that she's really into his BF. Maybe she's using him just to make you jealous or doesn't want to feel unwanted/lonely after your break up. And as you said, he may be a complete dick so she misses your attention.
I would advise you to forget her. There must have been a good reason why you broke up. It wouldn't probably work even though it may feel like it now. But if you really see no reason to stay away from her or you still like her, just tell her how you feel.
I would advise you to forget her. There must have been a good reason why you broke up. It wouldn't probably work even though it may feel like it now. But if you really see no reason to stay away from her or you still like her, just tell her how you feel.
Original post by Kikaykun
Ahaha my friends told me that too. It just kinda pisses me off that I was almost completely over her as I thought when we weren't talking that she is happy with her new bf, new friends, new life and that she didn't need me in hers anymore.
Then she appears out of nowhere and starts telling me she thinks about me daily and still has feelings for me :/
Then she appears out of nowhere and starts telling me she thinks about me daily and still has feelings for me :/
She's probably using you as a crutch, her relationship isn't going well, so she knows she can talk to you and rely on you. Pretty much agreeing with pinkmonkey3 here. If there's no question of her breaking up with the boyfriend, she is kind of leading you on by entertaining the idea of you and her, so it's really your call whether you want to be friends.
Original post by prescilla
I don't think that she's really into his BF. Maybe she's using him just to make you jealous or doesn't want to feel unwanted/lonely after your break up. And as you said, he may be a complete dick so she misses your attention.
I would advise you to forget her. There must have been a good reason why you broke up. It wouldn't probably work even though it may feel like it now. But if you really see no reason to stay away from her or you still like her, just tell her how you feel.
I would advise you to forget her. There must have been a good reason why you broke up. It wouldn't probably work even though it may feel like it now. But if you really see no reason to stay away from her or you still like her, just tell her how you feel.
Ahaha the reason we broke up was because she left me for someone else
But I'm over that bit now, as she literally jumped at chance to be with her current bf but was still harbouring feelings towards me. And she still says how she misses me and having feelings, but she says that she is also committed to her relationship and bf :/
Original post by xnatalie01x
She's probably using you as a crutch, her relationship isn't going well, so she knows she can talk to you and rely on you. Pretty much agreeing with pinkmonkey3 here. If there's no question of her breaking up with the boyfriend, she is kind of leading you on by entertaining the idea of you and her, so it's really your call whether you want to be friends.
Yeah, I kinda gave her an ultimatum. I just said to her that us being friends isn't going to work as I couldn't bare being just friends with her. We were so much more and that I would always be wanting more from our possible friendship. I just don't know if I should play the waiting game and try to see if I could wait out their relationship as if they are already on the rocks at 4 months, then she might snap out of her honeymoon phase and see what her bf actually is.
Original post by theseeker
She's not sure.
Nice spot there mate
Original post by Kikaykun
Nice spot there mate
Going there in summer
I think you need a longer period of no contact to see how you feel. From experience hoping into and out of relationships doesn't give you chance to commit properly and build something that will last.
Look after yourself do things you like. Tell her politely you need your personal space and to not be in touch with you until you are ready. If you get down the line and you still have feelings for her then you should talk, however it sounds like she thinks the grass was greener (rightly or wrongly).
Just remember to think about yourself in this instance
Look after yourself do things you like. Tell her politely you need your personal space and to not be in touch with you until you are ready. If you get down the line and you still have feelings for her then you should talk, however it sounds like she thinks the grass was greener (rightly or wrongly).
Just remember to think about yourself in this instance
by strange signals, you mean Morse?
try semaphore, that might work better
try semaphore, that might work better
My standard advice is to go out, **** a few broads, and then see how you feel about her.
Original post by ScORTED
I think you need a longer period of no contact to see how you feel. From experience hoping into and out of relationships doesn't give you chance to commit properly and build something that will last.
Look after yourself do things you like. Tell her politely you need your personal space and to not be in touch with you until you are ready. If you get down the line and you still have feelings for her then you should talk, however it sounds like she thinks the grass was greener (rightly or wrongly).
Just remember to think about yourself in this instance
Look after yourself do things you like. Tell her politely you need your personal space and to not be in touch with you until you are ready. If you get down the line and you still have feelings for her then you should talk, however it sounds like she thinks the grass was greener (rightly or wrongly).
Just remember to think about yourself in this instance
Cheers for the advice. I intended never to speak to her after she told me to go away for the fourth. But she was the one who came up and pull out all the stops to speak to me again and got me entangled into this situation.
But I guess I'll see what she has to say when I see her next. Probably for the last time.
Original post by Kikaykun
Cheers for the advice. I intended never to speak to her after she told me to go away for the fourth. But she was the one who came up and pull out all the stops to speak to me again and got me entangled into this situation.
But I guess I'll see what she has to say when I see her next. Probably for the last time.
But I guess I'll see what she has to say when I see her next. Probably for the last time.
seriously unless you have a desire to see her, politely let her know you need to have your space and that you'll speak to her when you are ready! I can offer a prediction but neither of us know how you / she will feel after some time has passed.
It also leaves the onus on her to leave the guy that her relationship is so bad with - at least that's what she's been telling you.
she's a desperate attention seeker; just cut off all contact or she'll leech onto you.
Original post by legal_beagle
My standard advice is to go out, **** a few broads, and then see how you feel about her.
Ahaha, exams throughout next month mate, I'll leave that till summer
She sounds a bit like she just wants a back up if you know what I mean? Shes having problems with her current so runs back to you?
Don't let her. Stop contact with her. It's the easiest way really until you're over her as much as you can be. Plus shes fking you around.
You need to concentrate on your exams not some hussy
Don't let her. Stop contact with her. It's the easiest way really until you're over her as much as you can be. Plus shes fking you around.
You need to concentrate on your exams not some hussy
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