Oh gosh, are you actually me? Same dilemma. When I go to uni there won't be ED services (as far as I'm aware anyway) and I hate hate HATE going to the doctors.
I'm so freaked out about relapsing at uni- I went to Sussex for a weekend months ago and I didn't eat anything for 3 days, partly because my friend was on a no carb diet and it was triggering as ****, partly because the kitchen was a mess but mostly because I was in a new place and I felt anxious and uncomfortable... it took me weeks to get back on track- and it's sort of why I REALLY don't want to go to my insurance. I didn't like it that much and it sounds silly but when I went on the offer day, they made you have lunch in this communal hall and even if I could eat in front of strangers, there wasn't ONE vegetarian option I could eat. I'd be self catered but I just don't want to go there. At UEA, they asked about food preferences and they wrapped up my lunch and kept it separate from the buffet and they didn't even KNOW about my ED and they gave me a really nice lunch I felt vaguely ok about eating! And I loved the atmosphere, it was so chilled and creative and wonderful, I felt like I belonged there the first time I visited and I don't even feel comfortable at home! I think I'd be a million times less likely to relapse in a place I could be happy.
You do NOT want to wait for a relapse before you ask for help. It's much better if you just rock up to the doctors during fresher's week or whatever and explain your circumstances just so they know and can check up on you a little bit? Even if you think you don't need it now. Because really, how likely are you to ask for help if- and this WON'T happen or I'll e-kick you
- you're in the midst of a relapse and you think everything is fine and are so used to feeling **** you forget what it feels like to feel ok? You're going to cling on to it unless you have a moment of clarity or something!
Yeah, so get yourself to your doctor before uni and see if they can get you sorted with some extra support in the summer/in your uni town.
Didn't know you did P+E too!
Great taste in subjects!
What are you aiming to study at uni? /nosy
I think focusing on my future now I can sort of see one makes things feel less dire and awful. I think uni might be a fresh start for me! But I think I'll get myself in touch with doctors just so I have that extra support.