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I don't know if this fits in this thread but I think I have a food addiction. I'd like to talk about it and get some advice if possible.

I've never been thin, even as a child I had a bit of puppy fat and I've struggled with my weight consciously for about 10 years, I've never been obese though the BMI has always had me as overweight. I've never been teased about my weight or called "fat" because I think I carry it quite well and for about 10 years when in front of other people I always suck my stomach in - this isn't uncomfortable at all and I've managed to get to a point where you can't even tell I'm doing it from my posture. The only time I let everything hang out is when I'm completely alone.

I'm a 26 year old male, 6ft tall and weight 13st 11lbs as of this week. My top weight was 17st in December 2006 so I think I've done pretty well to get down to this weight and maintain it, but I still know I have another 20lbs or so to go until I may be happy with my figure. People comment that I'm slim and if I bump into someone I haven't seen for years they can always tell a difference, but the sucking in of the stomach makes me look like I weigh less than I do. I also have fat around the "breast" area which depresses me because they do look like mini boobs at times and it prevents me wearing anything with a clingy material. I know this will be rectified by further weightloss.

Anyway, my issue is I keep yo-yo-ing with my weight and going round in circles. About a year ago I was 13st 3lbs my lowest weight in god knows how many years and since then I've been anywhere between that and 14st 3lbs. The cycle I seem to be in is that I go exercise and diet crazy for about 2 weeks, with a goal in mind, but then I'll find an excuse to have a binge weekend as a "treat" and then this turns into a binge week where I think "oh I'll write it off and start again next Monday". So in effect I've undone all my hard work in 2 weeks and put the weight back on, if not more.

The thought of eating whatever I want, whenever I want and as much of it as I want makes me excited so when I have these binge weeks I love going to the supermarket and stocking up on crisps, ice cream, biscuits, cakes, chocolate, frozen pizzas... basically absolute junk. Then by the last few days of my binge week I'm actually sick of it and really looking forward to getting back into dieting and exercising and starting anew - it's like a complete reversal and that motivates me to keep going for a few weeks... until I get bored and depressed with that and end up back to square one.

I am desperate to shift the last part of my weight loss and won't be able to be 100% comfortable in my body until I do. It's preventing me from dating girls because I'm terrified that when they see me clothed they'll think I have a nice body underneath, but once naked I can't hide my body fat and I don't want to deceive a girl like that. I feel like food is both my best friend and greatest enemy, it runs my life and I need to find a way to keep my will power strong enough to eat better, eat less and exercise more.

Sorry for the long post but any advice would be so appreciated.
Original post by Anonymous
I don't know if this fits in this thread but I think I have a food addiction. I'd like to talk about it and get some advice if possible.

I've never been thin, even as a child I had a bit of puppy fat and I've struggled with my weight consciously for about 10 years, I've never been obese though the BMI has always had me as overweight. I've never been teased about my weight or called "fat" because I think I carry it quite well and for about 10 years when in front of other people I always suck my stomach in - this isn't uncomfortable at all and I've managed to get to a point where you can't even tell I'm doing it from my posture. The only time I let everything hang out is when I'm completely alone.

I'm a 26 year old male, 6ft tall and weight 13st 11lbs as of this week. My top weight was 17st in December 2006 so I think I've done pretty well to get down to this weight and maintain it, but I still know I have another 20lbs or so to go until I may be happy with my figure. People comment that I'm slim and if I bump into someone I haven't seen for years they can always tell a difference, but the sucking in of the stomach makes me look like I weigh less than I do. I also have fat around the "breast" area which depresses me because they do look like mini boobs at times and it prevents me wearing anything with a clingy material. I know this will be rectified by further weightloss.

Anyway, my issue is I keep yo-yo-ing with my weight and going round in circles. About a year ago I was 13st 3lbs my lowest weight in god knows how many years and since then I've been anywhere between that and 14st 3lbs. The cycle I seem to be in is that I go exercise and diet crazy for about 2 weeks, with a goal in mind, but then I'll find an excuse to have a binge weekend as a "treat" and then this turns into a binge week where I think "oh I'll write it off and start again next Monday". So in effect I've undone all my hard work in 2 weeks and put the weight back on, if not more.

The thought of eating whatever I want, whenever I want and as much of it as I want makes me excited so when I have these binge weeks I love going to the supermarket and stocking up on crisps, ice cream, biscuits, cakes, chocolate, frozen pizzas... basically absolute junk. Then by the last few days of my binge week I'm actually sick of it and really looking forward to getting back into dieting and exercising and starting anew - it's like a complete reversal and that motivates me to keep going for a few weeks... until I get bored and depressed with that and end up back to square one.

I am desperate to shift the last part of my weight loss and won't be able to be 100% comfortable in my body until I do. It's preventing me from dating girls because I'm terrified that when they see me clothed they'll think I have a nice body underneath, but once naked I can't hide my body fat and I don't want to deceive a girl like that. I feel like food is both my best friend and greatest enemy, it runs my life and I need to find a way to keep my will power strong enough to eat better, eat less and exercise more.

Sorry for the long post but any advice would be so appreciated.


you do sound a lot like me in the sense that i used to binge too and then want to lose the weight i have never been over weight but after the age of 16 i piled on a couple of stone due to the studying of my a levels and resorting to comfort food.

I think you need to take control, like we all do. i want and need to lose weight im a few pounds over weight but it shows- i have a beer belly for a girl and i dislike it and i want to be happy and lose the lbs but it's hecka hard so remember youre not alone and despite being female i can relate

i think you should look at things in moderation. remember food mustnt be all that great if youre treating your body like a dustbin and it's making you fat. so how about losing the weight healthilty and then when youve got to that ideal weight you can start adding in a few treats now and again and realise youre enjoying the food but this time it aint doing you any harm. remmeber the key word moderation. moderation. moderation is key. theres no point eating those 5 slices of pizza when you know afterwards when youre settled and its digesting it aint going to feel good; the high from the junk sugar doesnt last. but 1 or 2 slices you will feel less guilty and will be happy the next day instead of hating yourself for indulging. please try stay strong and be happy and know that youre not alone and we're here to help if youre having a bad day



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i did binge a little - probably had about 2000 calories hence the anxiety/cigs but im pleased to say i kept it down and tried dancing for a bit to burn some of it off, lol. im not happy with my weight once i lose a few kg il be happier and thats just me personally. yes i should be doing it the healthy way but i am very impatient. i need to get there though. hmmmmmmpfffftttttt. it seems like il always be the beer belly girl ive had it with me for years and i just hate it :frown:
Reply 582

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(edited 12 years ago)
Well I didn't get an A, that's for sure. :cry: Probably got a C. It wasn't even a bad exam, I just completely messed up half of a question and my evaluation wasn't up to my usual standards. I'm trying not to dwell on it but all I can hear in my brain is screaming and blaming the fact I ate before my exam for my failure. :rolleyes: It's not even like I have the results so i dont need to be fatalistic about it but I sort of feel like I'm not going to get into UEA and it's all my fault for being an idiot and forgetting the easiest topic ever. I'm going to have a nap and then get something to eat and start revising for the other paper- can't let one not-even-that-bad exam ruin all the other ones! I just hate underperforming. :sigh:
Original post by Cinamon

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Reply 585
Original post by diamonddust

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Original post by NotSoCool.Fly
you do sound a lot like me in the sense that i used to binge too and then want to lose the weight i have never been over weight but after the age of 16 i piled on a couple of stone due to the studying of my a levels and resorting to comfort food.

I think you need to take control, like we all do. i want and need to lose weight im a few pounds over weight but it shows- i have a beer belly for a girl and i dislike it and i want to be happy and lose the lbs but it's hecka hard so remember youre not alone and despite being female i can relate

i think you should look at things in moderation. remember food mustnt be all that great if youre treating your body like a dustbin and it's making you fat. so how about losing the weight healthilty and then when youve got to that ideal weight you can start adding in a few treats now and again and realise youre enjoying the food but this time it aint doing you any harm. remmeber the key word moderation. moderation. moderation is key. theres no point eating those 5 slices of pizza when you know afterwards when youre settled and its digesting it aint going to feel good; the high from the junk sugar doesnt last. but 1 or 2 slices you will feel less guilty and will be happy the next day instead of hating yourself for indulging. please try stay strong and be happy and know that youre not alone and we're here to help if youre having a bad day

Thanks, much appreciated!
Reply 587
Original post by diamonddust
Well I didn't get an A, that's for sure. :cry: Probably got a C. It wasn't even a bad exam, I just completely messed up half of a question and my evaluation wasn't up to my usual standards. I'm trying not to dwell on it but all I can hear in my brain is screaming and blaming the fact I ate before my exam for my failure. :rolleyes: It's not even like I have the results so i dont need to be fatalistic about it but I sort of feel like I'm not going to get into UEA and it's all my fault for being an idiot and forgetting the easiest topic ever. I'm going to have a nap and then get something to eat and start revising for the other paper- can't let one not-even-that-bad exam ruin all the other ones! I just hate underperforming. :sigh:


Aww we all have bad exams - i'm sure half a question and an evaluation isn't going to drop you 2 grades hun! I bet it went better than you thought. Don't let it affect your other exams xx
Reply 588

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Reply 590
Original post by diamonddust
Well I didn't get an A, that's for sure. :cry: Probably got a C. It wasn't even a bad exam, I just completely messed up half of a question and my evaluation wasn't up to my usual standards. I'm trying not to dwell on it but all I can hear in my brain is screaming and blaming the fact I ate before my exam for my failure. :rolleyes: It's not even like I have the results so i dont need to be fatalistic about it but I sort of feel like I'm not going to get into UEA and it's all my fault for being an idiot and forgetting the easiest topic ever. I'm going to have a nap and then get something to eat and start revising for the other paper- can't let one not-even-that-bad exam ruin all the other ones! I just hate underperforming. :sigh:


Seriously, don't stress it! Our teacher told us that he wasn't going to teach us ANY ethics because you only need to do okay in two questions to pass! (Obviously I'm not actually insane so I did teach it to myself in the end.) So even if you messed up half a question (which I'm sure you didn't anyway) you'll seriously be fine! It's just the perfectionist mindset eh :hugs: and you will absolutely get into UEA :biggrin:

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hope that spoiler worked, I've never done one before haha :smile:
Original post by Anonymous

You have reached the limit of how many posts you can rate today!
This. And that's why I really dislike the weight criteria for AN, because it doesn't ****** matter. Yes, you're probably 'more likely' to die at a sub 17.5 BMI but you can die as a result of ED behaviour at any weight if you do it for long enough, you can have all the thoughts at any weight. It's a symptom- ONE symptom and focusing on it just makes you feel like you're not ill enough to warrant any help because tbh there's always going to be someone who weighs less than you. If you're struggling with this illness, get help whatever your weight.


What makes it worse is, whenever AN sufferers are shown on Tv, like on Supersize vs Superskinny, or there were twins on This morning quite recently, they pretty much ALWAYS look like they're at deaths door. So the general public believes that you can only have AN if your really,really thin. So we assume that we've also got to be really,really thin before we're taken seriously.

DD, your exam wont have gone soo badly that you'll only get a C. I had a GCSE Music written paper about my composition. 5 questions. I answered 3, and didnt even finish the third. Still managed to come out with an A* overall (composition, performance and 2 written papers)

Original post by Cinamon
xx


Cinnamon, your not a failure. As long as your keeping it down, thats a start!

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I seem to be tearing my food into little pieces again, and another friend isnt eating lunch again. Which is triggering as hell. When I go down to london for an open day, I'm going to have to ask her to eat SOMETHING resembling a normal meal, otherwise I'll feel too guilty/greedy to eat.
(edited 12 years ago)
Original post by Cinamon

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Pet, no your not. Your body NEEDS food to keep that brain of yours ticking over, and for your body not to go 'F-this, we'll have to start nomming on the heart muscle, because we've nowt else to burn.

Original post by *custardcream
No, I most DEFINITELY do not want to be part of team tit :redface:. *huge issues*.
Not helped by the fact that even at a BMI 12.2 I was a ****ing C-cup, I kid you not. :frown:.


WOWERZ. Pair of 38B bewbs going if you want them? They do hower look a LOT bigger than they are because of the band size. The lads in my year like to guess how large our boobs are. They always assume i'm a D cup+

Edit: and now i'll mooch off. terrorfied i'll trigger one of you and make you eleventygazillion times worse.
Had a bad day yesterday. Basically, my issues with food have never really been dealt with - the whole eating enough and not feeling bad about it was but the deeper issues were never touched (something I'm trying to work on now). I gained weight at uni and to begin with it was the normal weight most people gain at uni (the whole freedom to eat what you want when you want etc) but then a mix of having a bullying flatmate and exam stress/wanting to be perfect academically lead to me binging on junk food.

So I'm trying to lose the weight healthily, which is hard because of late my ED's been starting to rear its ugly head. Yesterday I was in a '**** it' mood and asked the parents if I could make biscuits (seeing as I've been eating well all week - not too much and not too little though admittedly not nearly enough fruit and veg) and my Dad started joking around saying I couldn't I needed to lose the weight etc and I absolutely lost it - it was like my ED had been put into his body, even though he was only joking. I ended up binging except in the long run of things it wasn't exactly a binge. It was just a sandwich and a few chocolates but I just felt awful, even while eating it... I dunno why I'm posting, just wanted to get that off my chest. I really need to work on my relationship with food - I used to avoid it when I was upset with my academics or whatever with the odd binge when things got bad but now, whilst it's probably still miles better than before, it's still not healthy.

EDIT: Oh and on the subject of big boobs - I had them even when I was at my lowest (I think around a 32C, now something like a 34E or EE, I don't even know where they came from. I'm not complaining though, I quite like my boobs :p:)
(edited 12 years ago)
Original post by Cinamon

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Reply 595
Wow Toto...
I had absolutely no idea, yet now it all seems to make sense. The way you are so articulate when writing about food, when it's all because of how much you analyse and think about every bite you eat. I don't mean that to sound nasty in any way.

I don't have an eating disorder, but I have been close, or rather, close to having disordered eating. Which is basically an eating disorder without it being as bad.

It all started when I was getting bullied for being fat. I now know that with a BMI of 26, I was hardly huge!
I would exercise every night in secret in my bedroom, while writing out meal plans for the next couple of days. Nothing ever worked because I have so little willpower (probably a good thing) that I never stuck to any routine for long.
There were days when I would eat at least two chocolate bars on my way to school, and days where I would eat literally nothing.
I then joined WW with my mum. The doctor ok'd it as I was only 15 at the time. Everyone told me I didn't need to lose any weight but I refused to listen to them.
I rapidly lost almost two stone, then plateaud at 10 stone. When I look back now, even that was too small for my frame. I have really wide hips (and it is actually my hips not just fat) and super broad shoulders from gymnastics and swimming while growing up. But I was convinced I needed to lose at least a stone more. Never mind the fact I was wearing a size 8-10, and my head looked like a lollipop.
I began completely restricting what I ate on WW. You can eat anything as long as you count it, but I was filling up on cucumber and cottage cheese, tomatoes and "free" soup and stews. These basically consisted of as many vegetables that I could fit in a pan. I was practically doing the crash cabbage soup diet, while on a "healthy" plan like WW.
I struggled to lose anymore weight and after putting on some weight over Christmas that year I gave up.
Over the 5 years since I gave up i have gained 5 stone. I have lost stones, but put them on again. I yoyo so badly.
I had a gym membership and went as often as possible and stayed as long as possible. I lost over a stone quite quickly, then put on two.
Over the last two days I have eaten a 400g bar of chocolate almost entirely to myself. And almost no additional food. And I doubt I will, because some days it's all about the calories not the content.
I've tried so many crash diets and given up, I've tried a liquid only diet even.
But again and again, no matter how much I hate my body, I cannot lose weight consistently. It's like I'm punishing myself for some reason.
I worry that I'm sabotaging myself subconsciously because I wanted to take it too far all those years ago.
I look at myself and feel sick at my reflection, but I sit and pig out on crap...
Some days I can barely hit 300-400 calories in food, then I'll ruin it all by eating crap. Ruin? What a strange choice of word given I know how bad that few calories in a day is...
Reply 596
Just wondering, does anyone here happen to know the average waist size of a male in the UK?

Currently struggling to fit into 28 jeans, they keep slipping off, and I'm just wondering what IS the ideal waist size anyway?

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Ruthie, no offence but it does KINDA sound like an eating disorder just not one of the more obvious ones. Eating disorders are more about the emotional connotations with eating and not just the actions induced. If you feel that food is becoming an issue it is better to sort that issue out now before you begin to obsess over it. The love is here for you girl!
Reply 597
It's pretty hard to be diagnosed with an eating disorder when you're obese though... Hence why I lean towards disordered eating. I'm not "sick" enough to warrant an official diagnosis and my GP is rubbish, Doesn't believe that I try to lose weight basically. You can see it in people eyes. Whenever someone who is fat talks about trying to lose weight, or how hard it is, or about a bad relationship with food in either direction, you can see the disbelief in their eyes and hear it in the tone of their voice.
Original post by Kebabbi
Seriously, don't stress it! Our teacher told us that he wasn't going to teach us ANY ethics because you only need to do okay in two questions to pass! (Obviously I'm not actually insane so I did teach it to myself in the end.) So even if you messed up half a question (which I'm sure you didn't anyway) you'll seriously be fine! It's just the perfectionist mindset eh :hugs: and you will absolutely get into UEA :biggrin:

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hope that spoiler worked, I've never done one before haha :smile:


*hugs*

Thank you hun! I'm calmed down a bit. Time to revise for Implications. *le sigh*
:hugs: to you too! Everything will be fine!
And

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Original post by .snowflake.
What makes it worse is, whenever AN sufferers are shown on Tv, like on Supersize vs Superskinny, or there were twins on This morning quite recently, they pretty much ALWAYS look like they're at deaths door. So the general public believes that you can only have AN if your really,really thin. So we assume that we've also got to be really,really thin before we're taken seriously.

DD, your exam wont have gone soo badly that you'll only get a C. I had a GCSE Music written paper about my composition. 5 questions. I answered 3, and didnt even finish the third. Still managed to come out with an A* overall (composition, performance and 2 written papers)


I was in IP with one of the twins and tbh, she looked slightly better weightwise on This Morning if you can believe it. It's so true. I sort of wish the media would just stay out of EDs. You always see those trashy magazines with a story of an AN sufferer (why is bullimia/EDNos/COE hardly covered?) with a HUGE picture of them practically naked exposing every bone and I just think... why? Those articles are never informative, they're usually laden with numbers and detailed lists of what the person ate and then a tacked on 'ending' where they say a dramatic event prompted them to get better. I don't think I looked like I was on deaths door when I (apparently) was on death's door because I didn't get to as low a weight as other people and certainly not as low as the people you see in the general media. When I got officially diagnosed, I specifically remember saying to the psych: 'But I don't look anorexic, I'm too big.' I was medically emaciated at that point but I didn't feel like I was because I still had boobs and a bum (:rolleyes:) and I looked normal once I put one my millions of layers of clothes and so I thought I was fine and didn't actively look for help because I felt like a fake. I was lucky in the sense that I was already in contact with CAHMS when I first started getting ill so I couldn't refuse treatment and I was taken seriously because they knew me and knew what I was like beforehand and saw the change before I even realised I was ill. Sometimes it feels like people forget AN and other EDs are mental illnesses first and foremost that become physical and, this is just my view, but I think the psychological side is more important than the physical side once you're out of danger-zone physically, because if your mind isn't in a better place psychologically, you're going to respond to difficult triggers with relapse. I'm no psychiatrist though, this is just my opinion.


I agree wholeheartedly with the B-eat media guidelines- I can't link to it because it's a PDF but they're pretty comprehensive. I wish the media would take notice. I try to avoid most things that I think will trigger me but it's hard to avoid everything.


beat is particularly concerned about the typical use of images of severely emaciated bodies to routinely portray eating disorders in print and broadcast media. People interviewed for their life stories also frequently feel under
pressure to supply pictures of themselves at their lowest weight in order to show how ill they were.
Our view is that such pictures do not help build a positive understanding of eating disorders in the general public not least because they perpetuate the mistaken view that eating disorders are only about extreme thinness. More importantly, such images are potentially very harmful to people struggling to overcome
anorexia in particular.

The specific influence of these cultural ideals on people at risk of eating disorders is that they maintain and perpetuate the illness, rather than cause it.


Thank you Snowflake! :hugs: I have my fingers crossed anyway, I'm trying to remind myself it's not a science and there's no one right answer. :rolleyes: :redface:
Original post by diamonddust

Thank you Snowflake! :hugs: I have my fingers crossed anyway, I'm trying to remind myself it's not a science and there's no one right answer. :rolleyes: :redface:


It could be worse, it could be Chemistry, where you've got to balance equations you've never seen before.

This series of SSvsSS had an AN sufferer, a bulimic and a lass with AN:binge purge subtype. Would still like them to do EDNOS, though.
(edited 12 years ago)

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