Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice.
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Hi, I'm new to TSR and I couldn't help but come into this thread.. obviously I haven't read the WHOLE thing but I've seen a few awful, but also inspiring stories. I myself have pretty much recovered from bulimia (never properly diagnosed, but I know what the guidelines for diagnosis are and I was a textbook example). I say "pretty much" because, as with all eating-disorder-sufferers-in-remission, I do have off-days. Usually if I'm stressed about something. But now and then I just can't hack the feeling of a full tummy :/
Original post by eleanor_rigby
Hi, I'm new to TSR and I couldn't help but come into this thread.. obviously I haven't read the WHOLE thing but I've seen a few awful, but also inspiring stories. I myself have pretty much recovered from bulimia (never properly diagnosed, but I know what the guidelines for diagnosis are and I was a textbook example). I say "pretty much" because, as with all eating-disorder-sufferers-in-remission, I do have off-days. Usually if I'm stressed about something. But now and then I just can't hack the feeling of a full tummy :/
You're welcome here, Eleanor!
Your mind plays tricks with you and leads you to the path of destruction sometimes, when it comes to an ED. Terrifying stuff. Case in point - I personally have tried to remain strong for the sake of posting for you guys, but in reality, I have gained 4-5lbs in the past 2 or so months and I genuinely have gained nothing but stomach flab.
This is due to the body's "desperation distribution" of weight. When the body restricts, as soon as it gets any new nutrients it goes "oh crap, I need to store this RIGHT AWAY!" and plonks it straight onto the stomach, the first place it can lay it.
Sadly, for me, I can now pinch SEVERAL inches on my stomach and I'm scrawny all over elsewhere. These are the proportions I feared the most.
For reference I am 5'7 and 96.5lb up from 92lb at the start of recovery. Weight and proportions are two separate, scary things. What I mean is, I may have gained less than 5lb but my body has changed dramatically. I have a lot more fat on my body. But everyone says "Nice job!" and "wow, you look so much healthier!"
"Healthier".
A word that is undoubtedly positive but an anorexic views as MEGA NEGATIVE.
To have twig-like arms, legs, visible ribs, but a disgusting pot belly due to recovery is terrifying, but yet another hardship I am finding myself battling mentally day by day...
I had a friend with anorexia nervosa and she had the same problem when she began recovery. Overall, her body was much the same as while she was ill, but her stomach was much bigger. It's hard to remember, but it will even out over time - and that will feel so much better than trying to lose the stomach. I'm afraid I'm not much use on the topic of anorexia past basic knowledge though.. Recovering from bulimia actually made my stomach look smaller, since the binge/purge cycle left mine swollen a lot of the time. The most noticeable difference is on my face though, not having swollen glands around my neck/chin from purging has revealed a nice shapely jawline!
Original post by TotoMimo
You're welcome here, Eleanor!
Your mind plays tricks with you and leads you to the path of destruction sometimes, when it comes to an ED. Terrifying stuff. Case in point - I personally have tried to remain strong for the sake of posting for you guys, but in reality, I have gained 4-5lbs in the past 2 or so months and I genuinely have gained nothing but stomach flab.
This is due to the body's "desperation distribution" of weight. When the body restricts, as soon as it gets any new nutrients it goes "oh crap, I need to store this RIGHT AWAY!" and plonks it straight onto the stomach, the first place it can lay it.
Sadly, for me, I can now pinch SEVERAL inches on my stomach and I'm scrawny all over elsewhere. These are the proportions I feared the most.
For reference I am 5'7 and 96.5lb up from 92lb at the start of recovery. Weight and proportions are two separate, scary things. What I mean is, I may have gained less than 5lb but my body has changed dramatically. I have a lot more fat on my body. But everyone says "Nice job!" and "wow, you look so much healthier!"
"Healthier".
A word that is undoubtedly positive but an anorexic views as MEGA NEGATIVE.
To have twig-like arms, legs, visible ribs, but a disgusting pot belly due to recovery is terrifying, but yet another hardship I am finding myself battling mentally day by day...
Your mind plays tricks with you and leads you to the path of destruction sometimes, when it comes to an ED. Terrifying stuff. Case in point - I personally have tried to remain strong for the sake of posting for you guys, but in reality, I have gained 4-5lbs in the past 2 or so months and I genuinely have gained nothing but stomach flab.
This is due to the body's "desperation distribution" of weight. When the body restricts, as soon as it gets any new nutrients it goes "oh crap, I need to store this RIGHT AWAY!" and plonks it straight onto the stomach, the first place it can lay it.
Sadly, for me, I can now pinch SEVERAL inches on my stomach and I'm scrawny all over elsewhere. These are the proportions I feared the most.
For reference I am 5'7 and 96.5lb up from 92lb at the start of recovery. Weight and proportions are two separate, scary things. What I mean is, I may have gained less than 5lb but my body has changed dramatically. I have a lot more fat on my body. But everyone says "Nice job!" and "wow, you look so much healthier!"
"Healthier".
A word that is undoubtedly positive but an anorexic views as MEGA NEGATIVE.
To have twig-like arms, legs, visible ribs, but a disgusting pot belly due to recovery is terrifying, but yet another hardship I am finding myself battling mentally day by day...
during this recovery which i applaud you for and pray you get through what support do you have apart from your amazing dad? do you have therapy? cos others seem to have to go to hospital and be admitted are you doing it on your own?
stay strong mate its jjust cos as u said ur body aint used to it. your stomach is taking time to digest it it aint used to food.its probably your slow metabolism. and maybe the enzymes etc havent been used in a while etc. and it's just not normal for the body to process the food and ''add'' it to your body evenly but this gets better OVER TIME KEEP REMEMBERING THAT
and good luck x
Oh, I forgot to say, custard, I am so chuffed you're out of that goddamned wheelchair. I can empathise with the thought that your body's changing; mine has changed SO MUCH in the past two months. I have gained a full 2kg and almost 2% increase in body fat. I feel like this little skeletal frame with so much absurd, disgusting flab hanging off it - I feel like PALE MAN from Pan's Labyrinth.
I cried and cried yesterday because someone said I "looked healthy, not drawn-faced any more". How stupid we are.
Thankfully I have this wonderful lass I meet up with fortnightly who has recovered from an ED who takes time out to talk to me for a few hours up at the hospital. She's endured hospitalisation etc and returned from a BMI of 12 to 20, and she looks and feels great, and the strangest thing is I find her appearance so slim, and yet I'm the one here with a BMI of 15.5.
I just feel like all I'm doing is gaining stomach fat here, and where that's probably true for the best part (anorexic eight gain panic-stores just outside of the intestines, therefore initially presenting itself as a skinny person with a pot-belly in a lot of occasions), 5lbs of gain is not enough, logically, for me to have become a 'fat' person. But your ED makes you so unreasonable sometimes.
I cried and cried yesterday because someone said I "looked healthy, not drawn-faced any more". How stupid we are.
Thankfully I have this wonderful lass I meet up with fortnightly who has recovered from an ED who takes time out to talk to me for a few hours up at the hospital. She's endured hospitalisation etc and returned from a BMI of 12 to 20, and she looks and feels great, and the strangest thing is I find her appearance so slim, and yet I'm the one here with a BMI of 15.5.
I just feel like all I'm doing is gaining stomach fat here, and where that's probably true for the best part (anorexic eight gain panic-stores just outside of the intestines, therefore initially presenting itself as a skinny person with a pot-belly in a lot of occasions), 5lbs of gain is not enough, logically, for me to have become a 'fat' person. But your ED makes you so unreasonable sometimes.
Original post by TotoMimo
Oh, I forgot to say, custard, I am so chuffed you're out of that goddamned wheelchair. I can empathise with the thought that your body's changing; mine has changed SO MUCH in the past two months. I have gained a full 2kg and almost 2% increase in body fat. I feel like this little skeletal frame with so much absurd, disgusting flab hanging off it - I feel like PALE MAN from Pan's Labyrinth.
I cried and cried yesterday because someone said I "looked healthy, not drawn-faced any more". How stupid we are.
Thankfully I have this wonderful lass I meet up with fortnightly who has recovered from an ED who takes time out to talk to me for a few hours up at the hospital. She's endured hospitalisation etc and returned from a BMI of 12 to 20, and she looks and feels great, and the strangest thing is I find her appearance so slim, and yet I'm the one here with a BMI of 15.5.
I just feel like all I'm doing is gaining stomach fat here, and where that's probably true for the best part (anorexic eight gain panic-stores just outside of the intestines, therefore initially presenting itself as a skinny person with a pot-belly in a lot of occasions), 5lbs of gain is not enough, logically, for me to have become a 'fat' person. But your ED makes you so unreasonable sometimes.
I cried and cried yesterday because someone said I "looked healthy, not drawn-faced any more". How stupid we are.
Thankfully I have this wonderful lass I meet up with fortnightly who has recovered from an ED who takes time out to talk to me for a few hours up at the hospital. She's endured hospitalisation etc and returned from a BMI of 12 to 20, and she looks and feels great, and the strangest thing is I find her appearance so slim, and yet I'm the one here with a BMI of 15.5.
I just feel like all I'm doing is gaining stomach fat here, and where that's probably true for the best part (anorexic eight gain panic-stores just outside of the intestines, therefore initially presenting itself as a skinny person with a pot-belly in a lot of occasions), 5lbs of gain is not enough, logically, for me to have become a 'fat' person. But your ED makes you so unreasonable sometimes.
Not stupid, just irrational. 
I feel the same way when I look at my friends or my sister, I just sort of stare at them thinking 'You're so tiny' and then I realise that they weigh more than I do. I still have the pot belly situation going on, not as badly as before but the second I eat anything my stomach blows up. It's a total head **** tbh, I have to actively reassure myself that I haven't eaten too much. I don't think it disappears until you've been at a healthy (not minimally healthy) weight for a period of time.
I'm watching Wimbledon right now and despite the annoying noises I'm sure the women don't have to make, I'm really in awe of the tennis players. They look healthy- good healthy. Fit and strong. I really wouldn't mind looking like them. Being healthy isn't the bad thing the ED makes it out to be. I think it's scary because it's unknown or forgotten. I've been the same. I cried for hours when someone told me that I'd 'gained weight' and after I burst into tears, amended it with telling me 'I looked good', which made me cry even harder. My very blunt mother told me that I still looked like **** and that they just meant I didn't look like I was going to keel over and die. That's not much of a consolation either but I guess it just means people mean that there's a light in your eyes and that your skin isn't so sickly? I personally think people should be banned from commenting on appearance full stop. It just seems rude to me even if it's intended as a compliment, because what are you meant to say in reply?
Keep on trucking my lovely Toto. It will be ok.
well I feel fat
had some of mums biryani
not a lot but to a sufferer i just feel so guilty and i know i shouldnt have cos it was just too much chicken etc.
had some of mums biryani
not a lot but to a sufferer i just feel so guilty and i know i shouldnt have cos it was just too much chicken etc.
I just finished exams and for the past three days, I have been binge eating - but because of exams, I've lost weight so its "okay" but I'm eating like mad...I know where this is coming from because the guy I like isn't here...but I can't help eating and it's killing me...I'm eating everything in one go and having to purge...like I finished a whole cereal box in 2 days...help me...I think I just feel lonely and sigh...
Original post by NotSoCool.Fly
well I feel fat
had some of mums biryani not a lot but to a sufferer i just feel so guilty and i know i shouldnt have cos it was just too much chicken etc.
had some of mums biryani
not a lot but to a sufferer i just feel so guilty and i know i shouldnt have cos it was just too much chicken etc.Try and do something that will distract you, is there something you like to do? paint? write? game? etc....
Original post by Linweth
Try and do something that will distract you, is there something you like to do? paint? write? game? etc....
Seconded. Knitting is awesome as a form of distraction, takes enough concentration that you can't consciously brood but not so much concentration that it's too hard to do. If you can't knit, learning to knit is just as distracting.
Original post by diamonddust
Seconded. Knitting is awesome as a form of distraction, takes enough concentration that you can't consciously brood but not so much concentration that it's too hard to do. If you can't knit, learning to knit is just as distracting.
Knitting is excellent
.Original post by diamonddust
Seconded. Knitting is awesome as a form of distraction, takes enough concentration that you can't consciously brood but not so much concentration that it's too hard to do. If you can't knit, learning to knit is just as distracting.
Knitting is amazing! It might age me by a couple of decades, and confirms the fact I am mentally 80, but I am not ashamed to admit, I LOVE KNITTING
Original post by broken_rose
Knitting is amazing! It might age me by a couple of decades, and confirms the fact I am mentally 80, but I am not ashamed to admit, I LOVE KNITTING
You dont have to be 80 ( be it mentally or physically) to knit...I'm nowhere near that age and really enjoy knitting.In fact its something I've been able to do since I was about 8 yrs old, mums aunt taught it me.I'm still not fantastic or anything though.
Original post by Annie72
You dont have to be 80 ( be it mentally or physically) to knit...I'm nowhere near that age and really enjoy knitting.In fact its something I've been able to do since I was about 8 yrs old, mums aunt taught it me.I'm still not fantastic or anything though.
Trust me, I am 18 going on 80. It's rather amusing! I love knitting though, I think it's such brilliant distraction and really productive. I like knitting hot water bottle covers
Original post by broken_rose
Trust me, I am 18 going on 80. It's rather amusing! I love knitting though, I think it's such brilliant distraction and really productive. I like knitting hot water bottle covers
Same. Dad says I'm 17 going on 70. Doesnt help that I'll often go to bed with a hot water bottle because I'm that cold/ my ankles are giving me grief etc.
Original post by Annie72
Knitting is excellent .
.
Original post by broken_rose
Knitting is amazing! It might age me by a couple of decades, and confirms the fact I am mentally 80, but I am not ashamed to admit, I LOVE KNITTING
Original post by Annie72
You dont have to be 80 ( be it mentally or physically) to knit...I'm nowhere near that age and really enjoy knitting.In fact its something I've been able to do since I was about 8 yrs old, mums aunt taught it me.I'm still not fantastic or anything though.
I'm not great either. I only know one stitch and I can't cast on or off and my stitches are rather tight and wobbly but I do enjoy it!
Original post by broken_rose
Trust me, I am 18 going on 80. It's rather amusing! I love knitting though, I think it's such brilliant distraction and really productive. I like knitting hot water bottle covers
You can knit hot water bottle covers? You're going to have to teach me! All I've done is a quarter of a scarf and I tried to cast off and it went wrong so now I'm thinking about unravelling it and starting again but I don't know how to cast on and I'm running out of yarn haha!
Think I might do some now because I'm feeling pretty down after the amount I've consumed today.
I'm thinking about ordering a decopatch kit. You get loads of special glossy paper and glue and a brush and you can cut it up and cover anything with it and so I'm thinking about getting a kit and making a pretty pen holder or something.
Original post by diamonddust
I'm not great either. I only know one stitch and I can't cast on or off and my stitches are rather tight and wobbly but I do enjoy it!
Same, although my stitches are fairly even. Til I drop one, then a five minute rant ensues...
Thanks guys
tomorrow is a new day
need a shower too i stink
how are we all
tomorrow is a new day
need a shower too i stink
how are we all
Original post by NotSoCool.Fly
Thanks guys
tomorrow is a new day
need a shower too i stink
how are we all
tomorrow is a new day
need a shower too i stink
how are we all
LOvely. :P Love how you came in here and basically went 'I iz hobo. I smell.'
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